The Sweetest Heart (2018 Hallmark Channel)


The Sweetest Heart 

Stars: Julie Gonzalo, Chris McNally

Listen to the Lifetime Uncorked Podcast! 

Synopsis (via Hallmark)

Maddie is doing everything she can to save her cupcake business. With the help of a handsome investment banker, Maddie’s luck begins to turn around in all aspects of her life. However, when her first love Nate unexpectedly returns home after 14 years, she will have to choose between a new romance and the man she never stopped loving.


Young Maddie and Nate both love each other and are sending each other off to their live their lives. She is an amazing baker and he is off to college. We flash forward fourteen years to find that Maddie is still baking cupcakes and trying to expand her cupcake business. Maddie is looking to buy the building next door to expand to create a cafe/made to order cupcake shoppe. She enlists a handsome investor seeker to help her find funding for the expansion. (He is very handsome, but not Nate her old High School sweetheart.)

Speaking of Nate, he is back in town after studying cardiology and is looking for a job in his favorite town, even though his parents don’t live there anymore. He shows back up at the bakery and rings the bell. Maddie is VERY special as to why Nate is back in town. She tells him that he is weird and he should have sent a carrier pigeon. They haven’t talked in ten years because of their break up. (It is very tense!) Nate won’t let the moment go and order four dozen cupcakes to help the business?

For some reason, Maddie goes on a date with her investor friend. (Alex, eyeroll!) She is trying to get Nate off her mind. It isn’t an easy task because he keeps ordering cupcakes so he can she her. He insists that Maddie be the one to deliver the cupcakes to the cardiologist wing of the hospital. While delivering the cupcakes, he offers to help her with her website (she is technology challenged.) and maybe even be friends??? She, at first is resistant, but he is not taking no for an answer. (Like all men in Hallmark movies.)

The next day, Nate arrives and they get lunch. (French fry pizza???) They go over the business model, because they are not friends, and it is clear that they are a good team. “His vision, her precision.” is their couple slogan. He offers to build her website for her big meeting and she is thankful that he is fun and helpful.

We get a random dramatic montage of Maddie preparing for her pitch and Nate designing the website. It serves no purpose.

The oven burns the cupcakes that are being cooked for an important investor. Maddie calls Nate to help her figure it out. Cue another montage, this time with baking! (Not flour fight, though!) Nate is a great sou chef and helps her get the job done. He even apologizes for whatever he did wrong in the past. Maddie forgives him and agrees that they can be friends again, not just business partners.

With the investor on her way, Maddie realizes that she needs to have a packed cupcake shoppe to convince investors to give money. Nate goes to the hospital and offers up free cupcakes to anyone who wants them, packing the bakery. The investor is impressed and wants to franchise. Maddie tells her that she would be open to that but only if they could do it HER way. The investor agrees and it is mostly because of the website, or NATE!

To celebrate, Maddie and Nate go on a hike together by the lake. They eat cupcakes together and kiss on the bench that we saw them on at the top of the movie.

Just as the romance is getting back on track, Nate of offered a position that will require him to leave immediately for training. (Just like when he went to college!)    

At a fancy dinner on a portico, Nate tells Maddie that he is so thankful to have spent the last few weeks with her. He tells her about the work opportunity and his needing to leave to Boston for his training. Maddie is disappointed and feeling foolish because this happened before. She runs off but not before telling him that SHE is the opportunity he should be moving mountains for, not this stupid prestigious job in Boston…

In Boston, Nate sees and old couple holding hand and he rethinks everything. At the grand re-opening of the bakery (Which is completely empty.) Nate rushes in to get Maddie back. He tells her that he has given up his job and is moving back to be with her, if she will have her. He pulls out the promise ring from the beginning of the movie and proposes, I guess?!?!?!?!?!?!

They kiss as the doors to the bakery open and tons of customers come filing in. The business is a success and so his their relationship. The end…

Side Note

Sponsored by Flonase because it is spring….

So many B and C romance storylines. Who cares about the shop girl and Nate friend getting together. Or Maddie’s friend and her fiance.

Overall rating

❤️  (1 Heart)

🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷 (5 glasses of wine required)

*Photo Credit: © 2018 Crown Media United States, LLC

Mommy’s Little Angel (2018 Lifetime)


Mommy’s Little Angel 

Stars: Amanda Clayton, and Morgan Neundorf

Listen to the Lifetime Uncorked Podcast! 

Synopsis (via Lifetime)

Twelve-year-old Katie has had a short but rough life. When her mother dies from an apparent suicide, her cousin, Nikki, and her husband, Luke, decide to adopt her. Katie adores her new family and will not let anyone—including her abusive and mentally deranged father—take her away from them.


The movie starts off with a mother (Shawna) and her young daughter (Katie) who are trying to stop a burglar from getting into the house, he is literally shouting “Let! Me! In!” Turns out the burglar is her abusive/ex-con husband and the father of her child. To get away from the Mr. Crazy, Katie and Shawna move into Nikki’s house. (Shawna’s cousin).  It is the perfect escape (so they think): it is a house with an alarm and far enough away that they can have peace of mind.

Katie seems like a little angel (hence the movie’s title). She has a cute speech impediment and bangs. She seems very concerned about her Mom’s pill intake and want to be sure her dad won’t be coming back for them. Then Katie is looking out the window and she sees a dog, she air points a gun at the dog, shoots and then says “You DIE.” We also see Katie staring at an open drawer of knives, then slamming it shut shouting “NO!” She also stabs a stuffed cat with a sharp stick and says “I hate everything!”

B storyline: Nikki is trying to get pregnant and Skypes her husband who is in the army. He will be back in town in a few weeks and is pleased that Nikki is helping take care of his cousin that he never met.

Shawna’s pills mysteriously go missing (Katie totally stole them) and she frantically tries to get them replaced. On her way to the doctor’s office, Shawna is confronted by her Mr. Crazy (Daren) who punches her out and then throws her over the edge of the parking structure. The police rule it as a suicide, little do they know that Katie was the one who arranged for Daren to meet her in the parking garage via text.

Nikki is informed that Shawna was a drug addict and that social services will be coming to take Katie and place her in a foster home. Nikki goes home and breaks the news to Katie, who takes it pretty well! (Nikki on the other hand is a mess.) They hug as Katie tries to console her new “Aunt” Nikki. Katie tells Nikki that she wants to live with her and not go back to her dad.  After a temper tantrum, Nikki tells Katie that if it were up to her should would take her in. Unfortunately, it isn’t up to her and Child services come to take Katie to a foster home until Nikki can lawyer up and get guardianship. She promised Katie it will be alright (after Katie freaks out on a table full of dishes).

At foster care, Katie gets into a power struggle with another girl after admitting that she hates people and can’t stop herself from doing bad things. The other little girl asks if Katie has ever killed anyone or started a fire and then taunts her and calls her a liar. Late in the evening she is visited by her dad (Daren) with whom she has been conspiring to kill her mother. He gives her a tiara for a job well done and a hug. The next morning while the other little girl is showering, Katie crushes up pills and put them in her drink. (Causing her to OD).

The child services worker (Gloria) comes to take Katie to Nikki’s house. While baking cookies they discuss Nikki’s attempts to get pregnant. Katie offers to be her child instead of some new baby. She even goes as far to tell Aunt Nikki that she wants to call her mommy and will be a perfect little angel. (They say the title! Yay!) After seeing a child phycologist, Katie is given the all clear to live with her new mommy.

They go back to Katie’s original town for the funeral (and to settle up some things at the house). Katie meets with her dad in the back of the cemetery, where she tells him that she hates it at Aunt Nikki’s and wants to live with him. Then immediately goes and tells Aunt Nikki that she doesn’t want to live with her dad… Seriously, what is her angle?!?

Nikki, of course, gets pregnant. This makes Katie extremely jealous. Katie sets up her dad to appear to be kidnapping her. He is caught by Nikki, who runs and calls the police. Katie meanwhile grabs a knife, stabs her dad, and then pushes Nikki down the stairs. As her dad is crawling down the driveway to escape, Katie runs him over with the car, killing him. Katie promise to be a good kid from then on.

Her attempt to kill Nikki’s baby didn’t work and Katie is placed under psychiatric treatment. They recommend that it be a in-patient treatment. Nikki convinces her husband to take Katie in, despite doctor recommendations. She is also put on bed rest, causing Luke to have to take care of her and Katie. He is creeped out by Katie and shares his feelings with Nikki. Of course, Katie overhears the conversation and has a full on meltdown (breathing heavily and hitting herself in the head. While wearing a striped shirt and polka dots, like a TRUE psycho). She goes downstairs and grabs a knife and trashes her room. She colors on the walls, cuts the heads off of her toys (and birds), and leaves a nasty letter that reads:

“Dear Mommy I hate you and Luke. I hope you die and I hope your baby dies too.”

Nikki calls the police, while Luke runs to the woods (they previously went hiking together ) to look for Katie. He certainly finds her her. She jumps him on the hiking path and shanks him with a knife! She menacingly waves the knife at Luke, while he holds his stomach bleeding on the ground. Before he passes out from blood loss, get grabs his phone from his cargo shorts and calls the police and Nikki to let her know where he is.

Katie is on a rampage and stabs another jogger on the hiking trail and steals his car keys. Then she heads directly to “Mommy” Nikki’s house and threatens to kill her with the knife. Katie locks Nikki out of the house and dumps gasoline all over the house and lights the house on fire. The bedridden Nikki goes back in the house to try to get Katie out. Katie knocks Nikki’s knees out with a baseball bat leaving her to burn in the house, while crying in the driveway.

“I didn’t mean to do it! I Didn’t mean to!

Flash forward: Nikki and Luke are both fine and have their new baby. They receive a letter from Katie and she appears to be doing better. They are heartbroken that Katie is institutionalized. Fade to black.

Side Note

Screen writer Christine Conradt has 64 credits on IMDB, most of which are Lifetime movies.

Overall rating

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️  (4 Hearts, no love in this movie, But I loved it!)

🍷🍷🍷🍷 (4 glasses of wine required)

*Photo Credit: © 2018 Crown Media United States, LLC

Stalked by a Reality Star (2018 Lifetime)


Stalked by a Reality Star 

Stars: Cynthia Preston, Emily Bader, and Robert Scott Wilson

Listen to the Lifetime Uncorked Podcast! 

Synopsis (via Lifetime)

When a teenager, Kendra, lies about her age to get into a Hollywood party, she meets a handsome reality TV star, Brad. But when she discovers that Brad is not as charming as he seems, Kendra rejects him, only to realize that he has become obsessed with her and will stop at nothing – including dating her widowed mother – to be near her.


Kendra is a high-school actress, and a bad one. (She recites Shakespeare and loves arms gestures.) When her friend Misha gets tickets to The Hollywood Helps Charity Bash AND gets fake IDs in an attempt to peer pressure Kendra into going. Kendra turns it down because she watches a show with her mom (Linn) on Thursdays and can’t get out of it. It is a blatant rip off of The Bachelor, called Finding Love starring the hunky Brad Banton.

Kendra and her mom aren’t as close as it would seem on the outside. Linn is busy working off hours at the hospital and Kendra resents her Mom for dating other men since her father passed away. She even accuses her mom’s current BF (a doctor at the hospital) of inappropriately flirting with her.

After a fight with her mom, Kendra joins Misha at the Hollywood charity event. They chug dirty martinis and then go around the party attempting to network. Kendra is literally bumped into the arms of Brad Banton. He is charming and they have a brief conversation before being whisked away by one of his managers. He sneaks away and takes Kendra on a walk where they realize that they went (she still goes…) to the same high school, talk about their past acting gigs, and her dead veteran father. Since it is getting late, Brad offers to give her a ride home and gets her number.

Kendra, of course gets caught by her mom and is grounded. Brad doesn’t know that and brings her bubble gum cotton candy to her house (or her mom’s house) and invites her on a date for Saturday night.

Fash forward to Saturday night. Kendra goes to a fancy Italian restaurant, where Brad has reserved the entire place. They talk acting and everything seems normal until Brad notices a spot on her wine glass. He goes to the kitchen in a rage and yells at the server. “Strike One!” Brad reminisces about Alison, his girlfriend who died in a car crash and whose death was exploited on the reality show. After “Strike Two!” (a overcooked lamb shank) Brad takes Kendra to her place, takes a polaroid of her and then aggressively kisses/grabs her. To get him to leave her alone, she pushes him off and tells him that she is seventeen, but he is not letting up. Thankfully the manager arrives and takes Kendra home and tells her to STAY AWAY FROM BRAD!

At school, Kendra is shocked to see Brad delivering a Shakespeare sonnet at her acting audition. He corners her in the hallway (those cool outside hallways that are only in LA) and tells her that she is special and he has never shared so much with one person before.

Meanwhile, Linn gets broken up with by her work boyfriend and is sad she tells Kendra. They make up from their fight and Linn lifts the grounding sentence on the condition that Kendra tells her the truth always. They go back to watching Finding Love on Thursdays and their normal routine.

Paranoia wont let things go back to normal so easily. Kendra tells Misha about Brad stalking her and starts to notice that someone is following her. When Linn brings Brad home one evening (he was helping her with car trouble) Kendra breaks down and tells her mom the whole story. Linn is surprised to hear it, but not because her daughter tells her that she has been assaulted and stalked by this man, but because her daughter would lie and be so jealous! Linn even agrees to go out on a date with Brad. Linn then goes inside and yells at her daughter to making her have to be a parent.

43:00- “I know that losing your dad was really hard on you, and I’m really tired of having to do this on my own again. I thought we’re going to be a team again but now I see that I’m going to have to drive you to school and pick you up from school and get someone to sit with you when I have a late shift.” You know like PARENTING.

Kendra is desperate to prove that she isn’t lying. She makes her mom stop at the Italian restaurant and confronts the waiter (who denies meeting her); she recruits her friends to use their technology-savvy brains to uncover that spyware has been installed on her laptop. She calls the police who take cyberstalking very seriously.

Linn isn’t convinced and admits to adding the spyware. She is so enamored with Brad that she continues to not believe her daughter, who is telling the police that she is being stalked and was assaulted. The police take it more seriously and go to talk to Brad and his manager, who deny the whole thing. Linn continues to date Brad and goes out to visit him on set.

After tricking the babysitter into drinking half a bottle of wine and passing out, Kendra and her guy-friend Jake sneak out of the house to head to Brads. They are on a mission to get the polaroid photo her took of them together as proof. They break into the house and find a disturbing psycho wall with pictures of Alison with her eyes crossed out. Jake stays to take a picture with his phone for proof and Kendra grabs the polaroid and leaves the house. Brad comes home and finds Jake on the stairs. He chases him and then we see something being placed in the trunk of a car. (This all happens in the middle of the day, by the way.)

When Kendra goes to the police about her missing friend, they find the house is empty and the psycho wall gone. Jake is still missing, but Linn wants to know why Kendra wont stop lying!

Linn decides that she needs to focus on her daughter and goes to Brads house to break up with him. She finds Kendra’s shoe under the couch and realizes that her daughter is telling the truth. (It’s like Cinderella!) They both go to the police, who ask them if they have ever heard of the little boy who cried wolf.

Back at home, Linn and Kendra try to regroup. While getting some water from the fridge, Kendra is tased and taken out of the house. Turns out the manager is the one who took Kendra. She is Brad’s mom and is also responsible for kidnapping Jake and killing Alison. She ties Kendra up and locks her in a room. Apparently, Brad isn’t in on it and he finds Kendra and Jake and tries to get them out of the house. Brad’s mom pulls the taser on them and won’t let them out of the house. Not to be out done, Brad pulls a gun on her. Taser beats gun in this scenario and Brad’s mom tases him to get the gun

Meanwhile, Linn is attempting to break in. She gets in just in time and hits Brad’s mom in the head with a blunt object. Linn rushes to help Jake (who has a concussion, haha) and is distracted when Brad’s mom wakes up, grabs the gun, and attempts to shoot Kendra. Brad jumps in the way and takes the bullet while Linn wrestles the gun away from Brad’s mom. The police take them away, never to be seen again.

Everything goes back to normal and another season of Finding Love is on the TV. Kendra and Lynn decided to play a board game instead.

Side Note

So much shade thrown at The Bachelor, I loved it. (Especially after this Ari season.)

Overall rating

❤️ ❤️ (2 Hearts)

🍷🍷🍷🍷 (4 glasses of wine required)

*Photo Credit: © 2018 Crown Media United States, LLC


Mother, May I Sleep with Danger (1996 Lifetime)


Mother, May I Sleep with Danger 

Stars: Lisa Banes, Tori Spelling, and Ivan Sergei

Listen to the Podcast Episode about this movie! 

Synopsis (via Lifetime)

A naive college student finds the boyfriend of her dreams, but her mother begins to suspect that his charm is masking something terrible. Based on the book by Claire R. Jacobs.


The movie begins with Billy and his current blonde-haired girlfriend. She wants to break up with him because he doesn’t drive a jeep and he is an idiot. Billy gets really pissed and kills her with a cutting board! (Whaaaaaaat?!?!)

Laurel Lewison is a college student with terrible red wig. She is smart and likes to wear sports bras as shirts. (She is on the track team?) Laurel has a meddling mother who gets her kicked off the track team after expressing her concerns to the coach about Laurel’s past eating disorder/ current over training. To divert the mothers attention Laurel introduces her mom to her new boyfriend, Kevin Shane. (Who, of course is Billy, the killer boyfriend.)

Kevin’s story is a little over the top, he tells Laurel’s mom (Jessica) that his parents died in a tragic “helicopter-skiing accident in Austria, killed with eight other people, and the whole side of the mountain came down, but they died doing what they loved.” No red flags in that story. Laurel also shares that she too lost her father; he died after divorcing her Mom. (No helicopters or Austrians were injured.)

Pretty much right away, Kevin/Billy gets possessive over Laurel. He follows her around campus and shows up at her dorm. They get into a fight over something miniscule, but it blows up into this crazy argument. Later, at outside aerobics (Don’t forget she has a past eating disorder and exercise compulsion!) Laurel is gifted a HUGE bouquet of flowers from a lesbian bike messenger. Laurel forgives Kevin/Billy and they literally kiss and make up. (After he tells her that he “Loves her so much.”)

During a sexy massage in a park, Kevin asks Laurel to dye her hair blonde. At first she is like, “Are you trying to change me?” but then she does it and looks exactly like his ex-girlfriend. (She better hide her cutting boards.) Kevin/Billy also convinces her to go to Guatemala next semester for a study abroad program. Laurel’s Mom isn’t thrilled about all the changes and starts to notice inconsistencies in his story. When she brings up her worries with Laurel, she doesn’t take it well. Laurel tells her Mom to stop trying to run her life and dramatically runs out of the room.

Kevin/Billy eventually tracks down the REAL Kevin Shane in Seattle and pretends that he works at the motel. Kevin/Billy goes all Norman Bates on the REAL Kevin Shane and kills him in the shower, burns his stuff, and single handedly pushes Shane’s jeep into a lake. Thus, successfully taking over his identity.

In an effort to isolate Laurel from her mom, Kevin/Billy then brings her to a secluded cabin. At first, she has her reservations because it is pretty creepy and there is no phone line. Then she agrees because he tells her he will climb a tower and start shooting people if she doesn’t. (So romantic!) They begin playing house (or cabin, I guess). As they eat carrots by the fire, Kevin/Billy tried to put a wedge between Laurel and her mother. He tells her that her mom told him about her eating disorder. She is angry and wants to call her mom to yell at her, but Kevin/Billy seduces her with fireside love making and spilt wine. (What a waste!)

Jessica (Laurel’s Mom) is on the hunt to find/save her daughter. Clearly, something is wrong. Laurel suddenly moved out of her dorm and told no one where she was going. She hasn’t been in contact via phone or showing up to her classes. Jessica even goes to Kevin/Billy’s apartment to look for clues and then goes to a detective after she recognizes a photo of Erin Meadows. Jessica gives the detective her number and promptly gets a fax proving that Kevin Shane is not who he says he is.

Laurel has car trouble and can’t get to classes for a few days. Finally on campus, thanks to her friend Jackson who giver her a ride, Laurel discovers that Kevin/Billy never put in a phone order and has a meltdown. Kevin/Billy sees the whole conversation and is convinced that Laurel is cheating on him. Laurel then goes to the auto repairman and learns that her car has been tampered with. She has had it with Kevin/Billy and goes back to the cabin to pack up her stuff. She tells him that he is not normal, pushes him and runs out to her car. He begs her to forgive him as she drives off frantically.

To blow off steam Laurel goes out with Jackson to a bar. Kevin/Billy follows Jackson into the bathroom and beats him up. He then goes to Laurel and asks for one more chance. They go outside to talk, but Kevin gets into a knife fight with three randoms and Laurel runs off.

Back at the cabin, Laurel goes back to get the last of her things. Kevin/Billy is there and wants to just end as friends. He grabs a bottle of Rose (Man after my own heart!) and toasts to the good times. Dummy Laurel, drinks the wine gets roofied. He carries Laurel back into the cabin and tells her that she will never get rid of him.

Jessica tries working with the detectives to find her daughter. She learns that Kevin is Billy and he is a suspect for murder. But for some reason, they don’t seemed all that concerned and leave her on her own. She gets a break, thanks to a AAA mishap. Jessica blows out her tires and tried to use her AAA card, but the card also being used by someone else near her cabin. (It’s Kevin/Billy! And really they were at her cabin the whole time?) She gives the AAA guy a $100 bill to fix her car so she can go and save her daughter.

Laurel wakes up and realizes what is going on. She has to lie and tell Kevin/Billy that she loves him so he won’t hurt her. Rape is implied. Seizing her opportunity, Laurel breaks free from the cabin and is attempting to start the car as he bashes the window with a little baby axe. She then runs BACK into the cabin and starts to lock all the doors and windows to keep him out. Armed with an axe, Kevin/Billy starts Jack Torranceing the front door. Laurel changes tactics for a third time and starts running in the woods. (Remember, she is a track athlete??!?) Too bad, Jessica shows up just as she is running off and gets punched out cold by Kevin/Billy.

On the chase now, Laurel runs to a lake and then jumps into a canoe. Kevin/Billy swims after her and tips her over. She swims to the dock, where her mom now is. Jessica tells Kevin/Billy that she knows everything and he is about to kill her, when Laurel pretends to love him again. She distracts him just enough for her to grab a canoe paddle and knocks him over the dock to his “death.” The mother and daughter cry as the camera zooms out.

Since it is Lifetime, we have to have one of my favorite tropes. The “creepy” cliffhanger. Kevin/Billy survives, renames himself Preston, gets an Adrian Grenier makeover,  and starts dating another blonde girl with a bob cut who better hide her cutting boards.

Side Note

After failing to find distribution for a theatrical release, the movie aired on NBC in September 1996.

Movie was remade in 2016 with cameos from Tori Spelling, Ivan Sergei, and James Franco (Who served as executive producer and re-conceptualized the story to include vampires?)

Overall rating

❤️ ❤️  (2 Hearts)

🍷🍷🍷🍷 (4 glasses of wine required)

*Photo Credit: © 1996 Lifetime

I Me Wed (2007 Lifetime)


I Me Wed

Stars: Erica Durance

Listen to the Lifetime Uncorked Podcast episode about this movie! 

Synopsis (via Lifetime)

Successful thirty-something Isabelle decides to marry herself, becoming a public sensation. But when opportunity comes knocking, will she cheat on herself to pursue what might be true love with someone else?


The movie starts off with a terrible opening-credits sequence. It’s a montage of wedding trope set to a song about a girl who isn’t getting married and all her friends are. We assume this song is about our protagonist, Isabelle!

The song keeps going into a another montage of Isabelle getting ready in the morning and bopping round to the song in her apartment. She is a house flipper AND a relationship flipper. Isabelle can’t keep a man and isn’t interested in waiting around to let herself have the finer things in life, like a Luc Cuisine Wok and the Roster. Everyone is pressuring her to get engaged and settle down; her married friends, her single friend Amy, and, of course, her mom (who uses Isabelle’s dead father to guilt her into finding a man).

On the construction site of a house that Isabelle is flipping, we meet Colin, a handsome worker who refuses to call Isabelle by her name and nicknames her Izzy. Even after she corrects him and ask him to not call her Izzy. (But, for some reason it is okay for BFF Amy to call her Iz???)

After a terrible date blind date with a tag maker (who takes his job WAY too seriously and is an under-tipper) and another bachelorette party, Isabelle has had it and decides to marry herself.

Too bad Colin is so charming! He and his construction dad have a fun co-worker relationship, he thinks dolphins eat sushi, and he even dresses up as Paul Revere once a week and gives horse and buggy tours. (And somehow he went to Harvard and got a masters in architecture…but he is working for his dad?) Can she resist his charm and follow through with her commitment to herself?

Yes, she sends out the save the date. May third for the wedding of Isabelle to Isabelle. She then recruits Billy, her sassy black gay friend, to help plan her wedding. Amy would be the maid of honor but the whole thing is too weird for her. Plus, Amy is now dating terrible blind date guy because she is desperate to get married.

Isabelle’s mom is not approving of the whole ordeal. She doesn’t understand why Isabelle is doing this to her. Is Isabelle swearing men off forever? Or WORSE is she a Lesbian!!! The mom agrees to help pick out a wedding dress with her daughter. At the wedding gown boutique a shop girl happens to overhear their conversation. The shop girl is also a freelance writer and offers to write up a story for The Daily buzz (Direct quote: “A daily womens email that tells women what cool, the hot spots, new fashion…”) and Isabelle agrees (much to the delight of Isabelle’s mom).

Back on the construction site, Colin and Isabelle are becoming errand buddies. They go pick up a bathtub together and then go antiquing. They learn all about each while having a picnic in the park. Things get really hot and heavy after they both learn they like sports and she takes him to her apartment for a proper Lifetime Movie Sex scene. (Lots of back grabbing and soft lady singing in the background.)

The next morning, Isabelle thinks Colin has abandoned her but he went to Paul Revere work and stops by to throw her flowers from his horse and buggy. Isabelle isn’t going to not marry herself just because she got laid. The article went viral (or as viral as it could go in 2009.) and she gets an offer to be on The Nancy Singer Show and get her story in front of 10 million people.

Colin and Isabelle start officially dating. They kiss at the construction sight while rolling around on carpets and go on ice cream dates and kiss some more! They also have birthdays a few days apart, somehow and celebrate together with cake and kisses. He gets her the stained glass window pane they were looking for at the antique place. Then they have sex again, because it is Lifetime. Somehow Colin has not found out about this whole situation; he reads books and doesn’t have an email.

The Nancy Singer Show happen and they offers to pay for the entire wedding and a designer wedding gown. The small intimate ceremony has gotten too big and Isabelle is freaking out. She has to tell Colin before the segment airs the next morning. Unfortunately for her, it airs early and Colin sees it at a bar (because some lady at the bar is watching it, not because and men are interested!). Colin of course IS interested and upset that he didn’t hear about it from Isabelle herself. He comes around pretty quickly (like maybe 30 seconds?) and tells her that he loves her—and she loves him too. He then asks if he can bring a date to her wedding…

After Colin gets bullied by his co-worker, turns out he is not okay with it. He asks her to marry her! Isabelle tells him that he is too worried about what other people think. At a restaurant Isabelle and Colin try to hash it out, but the whole restaurant is in on the conversation and commenting and interjecting. They can’t come to an understanding and Colin breaks up with her.

At her wedding shower, Isabelle takes some time to reconnect with Amy (her former BFF). Isabelle is worried that Amy is getting married for all the wrong reasons. Amy doesn’t take it well and storms off, could she actually like tag guy?

Finally the wedding is here! All the paparazzi have arrived and the guests are out of control. Isabelle invited like 20 people but “there are like a gazillion”. Isabelle’s mom is taking this whole wedding very seriously and brings her something borrowed and blue. Before she puts on the dress, Amy shows up and offers to help her get it on. Amy admits that tag guy was pretty lame and she was settling.

It is the big moment. Isabelle is walks down the aisle with her mom and begins to get married to herself. As she is saying the vows she realizes that she can’t do it. She let things get out of control and doesn’t feel right about it and wants to do it her way, not this big spectacle. She is miserable because of the Colin breakup and runs out of the church crying. She comes back dressed and jeans and a head scarf and marries herself. Just like that?

While she is crying to her friends and family about how she messed everything up with Colin, he rides up on his horse and buggy. The is on the apology tour of Boston and tells her that she shouldn’t have made her choose from what she believes in and him. Isabelle tells him she saved the real wedding for him because he makes her happier than she has ever been. Cut to their actual wedding where they ride of in a horse and buggy to that damn song from the beginning of the movie.

Side Note

Julie Sherman Wolfe is currently a writer for Hallmark Channel. Last year she wrote Marry Me at Christmas and Finding Santa. (Two movies that I enjoyed!) You can absolutely see those Hallmark leanings in this Lifetime movie.

Canadian Accents in this one were VERY VERY Strong.

Ugh! The gender stereotypes in this movie are soooo annoying.

Overall rating

❤️ ❤️ (2 Hearts)

🍷🍷🍷 (3 glasses of wine required)

*Photo Credit: © 2007 Lifetime

Love, Once and Always (2018 Hallmark Channel)


Love, Once and Always

Stars: Amanda Schull, Peter Porte, Vanessa Bell Calloway

Listen to the Lifetime Uncorked Podcast! 

Synopsis (via Hallmark)

When Lucy’s childhood sweetheart plans to tear down the Gilded Age estate and replace it with a golf course, Lucy fights to preserve the historic mansion at all costs. As Lucy and Duncan set out to find a compromise, they learn that embracing the past may be the key to protecting the future.


Lucy lives in London and works in a museum. She is up for a big promotion to replace her POC boss, Isabelle. Everyone has british accents and speaks in british slang. She has a red-headed Canadian best friend, Josephine, (this time with a British accent), a doorman named Nigel, and calls trash rubbish. When she receives a “letter in the post,” informing her that her Great Aunt Grace has passed away and she is the heir to the Wyclef House (SIC) or rather she was bequeathed the mansion. Lucy must go back to “the States” to handle the estate in in person.

Back in the USA, Eleanor (played by the unbearable Dolores Drake who literally has scenes with a sheep as a costar),  an employee of the estate picks Lucy up at the airport. Once Lucy arrives, she sees the place is in need of some TLC. The front door sticks and she charges the door to open it, falling through and into the arms of her highschool sweetheart, Duncan. Duncan was the son of the caretakers until they passed away and was taken in by Aunt Grace. Due to some mix up he is under the impression that he owns the house. She loves the magical and historical beauty of the 1890’s estate. He would prefer his condo in Boston and wants to sell the estate to turn it into a golf course. The argue, saying things like “Frank Lloyd Wrong,” and finally decide that he will stay in the west wing of his mansion and she will stay in the east wing of her mansion.

The next day they both go to the lawyer, Hannah. (Who Duncan is also conveniently dating, maybe?) She explains that they are both listed as owners of the estate in the will. Later, over waffles, they hatch a plan to fix the roof while Lucy looks for historical grants and Duncan tries to make some repairs in order to show the place for sale. They can’t get anything done because everything has historical significance, and Duncan just wants to sell some items at the auction to raise money for the repairs.

At the auction, they sell a painting for a lot of money and then romantically stroll around talking about the past. While in the historical district (I guess?) Lucy gets an idea to restore the estate to its original state and sell tours to guests, like a museum! She begins working on a proposal, as does Duncan, whomever has the better proposal to a billionaire investor will get the house.

Later in a gazebo (MY FAVORITE!) Lucy and Duncan talk about how they miss Aunt Grace and love the estate. They decide to join forces to create a golf course that doubles as a history park. We get montage of them cleaning, painting, looking at floor plans, and making repairs. While painting, a bucket of paint almost falls on Lucy, but Duncan pushes her out of the way getting paint on himself. All in the name of chivalry.

At “the festival” Duncan and Lucy decided to play some darts. Hannah shows up to challenge Lucy to a dart off, while being catty. Lucy wins and then goes for a walk around the festival with Duncan. They talk about how they are both single and then head back to the estate when the it begins to rain to warm up by the fire. Duncan asks her if she really wants that job promotion, she tells him she isn’t sure.

For some reason they throw the estate’s traditional ball to make their big pitches. As tradition would have it, the hosts are to do an opening dance. They decided to practice and are twirling around until they ALMOST kiss.

It’s the evening of the ball and Mr. Nevin (the billionaire, who is also a POC!) has arrived. Duncan and Lucy make their pitch and show him around the estate. After they get all dressed up Lucy and Duncan welcome their guests and start the first dance. They almost kiss when she gets her a call from work, who want to conference her in for a big meeting. It doesn’t go well. Neither does the pitch with Mr. Nevin, he declines their offer because it doesn’t make financial sense.

Lucy overhears, Duncan and Hannah talking about the plan they had to tear down the estate. (But only the part where he agrees with Hannah, not where he tells her he doesn’t want to tear it down anymore.) They have an argument and Lucy decides to fly back to London after accepting the promotion. (I guess her meeting didn’t go THAT bad.)

In the airport, Duncan chases Lucy down. He has a new proposal and asks her to give him just one more day to try to save the estate. They head to Mr. Nevin’s hotel, but run into a snag when ANOTHER town festival blocks the road. They run through the festival and pick up a Newton Town History book to give to Mr. Nevin. (They also give him a new business proposal that refinances some things…) Lucy decides to stay, for some reason. We flashforward to Lucy and Duncan at their new golf history museum and see that they are engaged now…. Hooray?  

Side Note

So many stupid historical references!

Overall rating

❤️  (1 Heart)

🍷🍷🍷🍷 (4 glasses of wine required)

*Photo Credit: © 2018 Crown Media United States, LLC

Royal Hearts (2018 Hallmark Channel)


Royal Hearts (Hallmark)

Stars: James Brolin, Cindy Busby and Andrew Cooper

Listen to the Lifetime Uncorked Podcast Episode about this movie! 

Synopsis (via Hallmark)

Kelly, a hopeless romantic in Montana eager to finish her dissertation, and her father, Hank, a rancher, receive news that he has inherited an estate from a faraway land. When they travel there, they discover that Hank has not only inherited the estate, but the title that goes along with it – KING!


Kelly has a southern accent and is a professor at a state college, who likes to teach about Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. She throws some major shade on graphic novels on a date with a loser in a bar. Then she pines to her asian best friend that she wants a man to be chivalrous, she is looking for her Mr. Darcy.

When a sweaty and bumbling British man named, Mr. Grimsby arrives looking for Kelly’s Dad for an urgent matter. Hank is a cattle herder (or something in a large field with cows.) He has a cowboy hat and even thicker accent than Kelly. He is told that he has inherited an estate in Morania. Kelly tries to convince her dad that they should go to Europe, because she is up for a job at Oxford. Maybe it is time to grow up and go out and see the world. Her dad is offended that she doesn’t think, but agrees to go.

In Morania, Mr Grimsby picks Kelly and Hank up from the airport. They run into a block in the road caused by a handsome sheep herder and his sheep. Impatient to where they’re going, Kelly jumps out of he car and clears the rode herself, she is VERY annoyed at the handsome sheep herder. Finally at the estate, which turns out to be a very large castle full of servants, Hank learns that he is the Kind of Morania and Kelly is a princess!

Hanks immediately wants to go home and give back the title, until he realizes they have cows in Morania. Kelly needs to do research on the town and heads to the castle library. (Did I mention she loves books?) She almost falls off a ladders and is saved by THE HANDSOME SHEPARD, Alex. He takes cares of the animals on the estate, but also loves reading. After some banter back and forth, they go on a horseback ride through the mountains.

Turns out the castle is in pretty bad shape. The west wing is no longer being used and the place is falling apart. The butler tells Hank that the citizens of Morania will have their taxes raise to pay for the repairs. King Hank goes off to meeting with the counsel. (He proposes to create a cattle ranch, rather than raise taxes.) leaving Kelly to meet with King Nicholas of Angosha (The neighboring country, that wants to take over Morania.) He is charming and chivalrous.

King Henry really needs a cold beer and stops in a bar which just happens to be run by an American woman, who is SINGLE. (She mentions that her husband left her before she even gives her name… which is Joni.)

At a fancy dinner, King Henry proposes a toast to his guest from Angosia:

“Good Bread, Good Meat, Good Lord, Let’s eat!”

Too bad for King Henry there will be no meat or bread, they are serving escargot. He hightails it out of the fancy dinner and heads back to the bar for some supper with Joni, his bar wench, who now has a southern accent too! THey hit it off and agree to go fishing together.

Kelly and King Nicolas seem to be hitting it off. Whenever she brings anything political he changes the subject back to how much he likes her. They go out for an evening stroll and a horse carriage ride to a romantic tent with champagne.  Kelly is spending so much time with King Nicolas, that she keeps blowing off Alex and his sheep friends.

At the Morania town festival, with a maypol and archery, Alex and Kelly shoot targets together. She learns that he went to Oxford for college and is impressed with him. Until, King Nicolas comes along and shoots a bullseye. Not to be out done, Alex shoot a bullseye too. Splitting the other arrow. Swoon?

At a fancy ball, Kelly is all dressed up by her lady maid and gets a necklace from King Nicolas. He greets her with an incorrect quote stating it was Shakespeare, Alex (who is a waiter at the ball.) is quick to correct that the quote was from Byron. After they dance, King Nicolas proposes marriage, you know she could grow to love him and he will do everything in his power to make her happy. She agrees to consider it, and he promptly announces to the party that they might become married. King Henry is not please and doesn’t raise his beer in the celebratory toast.

Alex is very distressed about the possible engagement, despite not spending any real time with her. He talks to Kelly in the stable and asks her why she is getting married to him, she says she isn’t he is just considering it. Alex then goes to King Henry and they will work together to get to the bottom of King Nicholas’ real motives for wanting to marry Kelly.

King Henry sits down with everyone to wrap this movie up. First up, King Nicholas and tells him that he does not approve of him not getting his blessing before proposing. He also tells him that Kelly is a handful and not likely to just sit around and be queen. Next is Joni, who tells King Henry to talk to his daughter. Finally, he talks to Kelly and tells her that he read Pride and Prejudice and she should not marry someone she doesn’t want to. Especially, if she is in love with someone else.

Kelly follows her heart and tells King Nicolas that she is not going to be his queen. Alex finds out that King Nicolas is bankrupt and needs the Morania land to develop something. King Henry proposes that the counsel run Morania and dissolve the monarchy. They negotiate a deal that sounds good, but is at the end of the movie, so who cares! Can we just get Kelly and Alex together yet?

Henry and Kelly throw a hoe down in Morania. Henry and Joni get together and so go Kelly and Alex. Then we get a voice over and learn that they get married at a royal cowboy wedding. Thee End.


Side Note

The whole movie is underscored with generic country western music in Montana and British music

Huge missed opportunity! No Hoedown Throwdown at the hoedown?

Overall rating

❤️  (1 Hearts)

🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷 (5 glasses of wine required)

*Photo Credit: © 2018 Crown Media United States, LLC