Chaos on the Farm (2023 Lifetime)
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Cast: Brook Sill, Jake Busey, Clare Kramer, Billy Armstrong, Dorian Gregory
Director: Derek Sulek
Writer: Eric Durham Derek Sulek
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Synopsis (via Lifetime)
Shaken from the death of her beloved mother, Jessica is forced to visit her estranged Aunt and Uncle’s farm to tie up loose ends in her mother’s will. When she arrives at the farm things seem almost too perfect. But after a series of strange events, Jessica finds herself discovering dark secrets about her aunt and uncle. Stars Brook Sill, Jake Busey, Clare Kramer, Billy Armstrong and Dorian Gregory (2023).
Recap/Wine Thoughts
DEAD PET ALERT (This movie contains a dead dog, which I know some viewers are sensitive to.)
The movie starts, well, on a farm. We see chickens, apple trees, tractors, or whatever. Everything seems in order and manageable! (Except for the fact that the stock footage lasts for like 3 mins. Where is the CHAOS!)
A dog, Rufus, barks while a farmer shines apples on his shirt. The dog whimpers and goes quiet, causing the farmer to investigate, and then someone murders him.
The estranged farmer’s niece, Jessica, talks to an attorney about the farm and her inheritance at her mother’s funeral, which seems like poor timing. Kathy gives Jessica a cashier’s check for $250,000 and tells her to call her Aunt and Uncle about the money the mother left them for the farm.
Jessica tells her hunky nurse boyfriend about the trip to the country. His name is Sam, and he offers to make the trip with her so she isn’t alone in “the country.” (Which Jessica actively hates.) Even though Jessica couldn’t reach her uncle or aunt over the phone, they hit the road. As they drive, they listen to murder podcasts. (Instead of my podcast Lifetime Uncorked!)
Aunt Susan welcomes Jessica and Sam, and she has many excuses for not seeing her. Unle Lawerence is there too. (Played by Jake Busey.) They seem to be religious zealots who hate the city and are too young to be the REAL Aunt Susan and Uncle Lawerence. (They have a charcuterie prepared, so honestly, who cares!)
Uncle Lawerence gives the city folk a tour and tells them not to have sex in his house; he is dead serious. Sam and Jessica waste no time making out as soon as he is gone. They are a little concerned that the farm has no wifi, phone, or television. They laugh it off.
Uncle Lawerence also needs help with grace before dinner. (Which raises some eyebrows.) Aunt Susan makes some country steak and mashed potatoes, and they are horrified to learn that Jessica is a vegetarian. Susan and Lawerence forgot that Jessica and her mother were vegan when she was growing up.
At night Lawerence peeps in and sees Sam and Jessica hooking up. He breathes heavily… okay, he is not the uncle. We know this, right?!?!?
Jessica puts on her best plaid shirt the following day and walks around the farm. She does every cliche thing you can think of. (The feeding chickens about killed me!)
Aunt Susan explains why she had a falling out with Jessica’s mom after her cancer diagnosis and gets emotional. The story sound plausible to Jessica, even though she hasn’t been to the farm since she was a kid.
A drunk named Kurt shows up and gets angry when Jessica explains she is visiting her Aunt and Uncle, who own the farm. Kurt doesn’t know anything about them. Uncle Lawerence takes Kurts aside and tells him to be cool. (Then he shows Kurt a gun in his pants.)They are working on some criminal scheme together.
Speaking of crime, we cut to the sheriff who is responding to a robbed convenience store. (He will be back)
Sam’s phone dies, and he tries to charge it in his car. (Battery is dead.) Then notices a puddle of blood and follows the trail behind the house. It is there he finds Kurt’s dead body. He was strangled by a belt and thrown into his car. He runs away and leaves the body. When Lawerence returns to the crime scene, he knows someone has discovered Kurt.
Sam rushes to tell Jessica and repeatedly whispers “Jessica” around the house. Then he calls 911 but doesn’t know the address. The phone line goes dead when Lawerence cuts it with a shovel edge.
Jessica and Aunt Susan is in the attic, and obvious to the CHAOS going on downstairs. Sam rushes up the stairs and tells Jessica about the murder. He leads Jessica and Aunt Susan to leave the house, but they don’t believe him about Uncle Lawerence. Aunt Susan stalls until she can grab something to knock Sam unconscious.
Sam and Jessica wake up tied to a chair. Susan and Lawrence are after the money. They plan to torcher them until Sam and Jessica tell them where the check is. They are interrupted by the Sherriff.
Jessica screams for help, and Sherriff Hank rushes to her rescue. Larewence jumps on him and strangles him with his belt. Jessica runs into the apple orchards.
The Sherriff doesn’t die and tries to save Jessica again, but Lawerence kills him for real, this time by tabig him with a pitchfork. (I mean it had to happen sometime, right?) Jessica runs away as Lawerence shoots at her. She finds her uncle and aunt buried on the farm. (Ei Ei, Oh No!)
Meanwhile, Sam is still tied up, and Aunt Susan rips off his fingernails. Sam caves after all his fingernails are gone and tell them where the check is.
It is nighttime at this point, and Jessica makes her way to the cop car to call for help. Lawrence goes after her, but she locks herself in the car.
Sam and Fake Aunt Susan scream at one another, but eventuallySam frees himself and grabs a knife. Fake Aunt Susan shoots at Sam as he runs around the house.
Instead of rescuing her hot boyfriend, Jessica runs to the shed and looks at old photos while crying. Until she is interrupted by Not Uncle Lawerence, he tries to kill her, but she takes his belt and strangles him with it.
Fake Aunt Susan is arrested by the police while carrying a large suitcase. In slow motion.
This whole third-act sequence lasts sooooooo long.
Sam and Jessica cry on the front step of the farm. They watch the sun rise or set, who knows, and promise never to go to a farm again.
Side Note
Wow! I haven’t thought of Jake Busy since he showed is butt in Starship Troopers.
I LOVE Clare Kramer as an actress; I hate her plastic surgeon.
Minority Report: Kathy, Hank,
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Overall rating
Number of Kills:
🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪 (6 knives)
Enjoyment Level (1-5 scale)
🍷🍷 (2 Glasses of Wine)
Should you watch it?
Pour it up! (Give it a shot)
Put a Cork in It (Skip It)
What did you think of the movie? Let me know in the comments or on social media @LifetimeUncorked & @patrickmiguel
*Photo Credit: © 2023 Lifetime® | A+E Networks®
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I think that’s the wrong film description.
I will update! Thank you!
Your synopsis (via Lifetime) is mimatched with another earlier movie. The synopsis should be: Shaken from the death of her beloved mother, Jessica is forced to visit her estranged Aunt and Uncle’s farm to tie up loose ends in her mother’s will. When she arrives at the farm things seem almost too perfect. But after a series of strange events, Jessica finds herself discovering dark secrets about her aunt and uncle. Stars Brook Sill, Jake Busey, Clare Kramer, Billy Armstrong and Dorian Gregory (2023).
Thank you! This week has been crazy for me
You’re welcome, This week is just starting. :–)
Who the hell, running from a homicidal lunatic,(who would like to rape you and then kill you), finds a basement attached to the house, climbs in, leaves one of the doors open, conveniently finds a flashlight and then stands around staring at old pictures when again, your boyfriend is being tortured and you are being chased by a homicidal maniac?
Tortured?