The Christmas Cure (2017 Hallmark Channel)

The Christmas Cure  
Starring Brooke Nevinbut & Steve Byers AND Patrick Duffy!!!

Synopsis (via Hallmark)
An emergency room doctor (Vanessa) returns home for Christmas after many years to find that her father has decided to retire. After reuniting with her high school sweetheart and spending an emotional Christmas with her family, she must decide if she will stay in her hometown and takeover her father’s practice.

Thoughts
From the title you MIGHT be expecting a dramatic/heartfelt terminally ill protagonist who is looking for the perfect final Christmas—like in the style of The Fault In Our Stars or Stepmom. That is not this movie, it just features doctors!

Vanessa is an overworked doctor who mostly lives at the hospital and has no friends or romantic prospects. Though, when she does go to her apartment she eats leftover take out and only has a jar of Alfredo sauce in her fridge. (Just like me!) Her only wish this Christmas is to go home for the holidays. In a “Christmas miracle” she gets her time off request this year and is heading home! Christmas miracle? This early. I’m skeptical.

After an awkward car ride from the airport with her LAME ex-boyfriend (Mitch), Vanessa, or “Nessa” as Mitch says, is finally home for the holidays. The camera pans on a poorly decorated house with snow on the front lawn and green summer lawn in the background. Exactly what I needed to get me in the mood for Christmas in July! Then it is to the family clinic where we are introduced Vanessa’s Dad (Patrick Duffy!) and her extremely terrible and annoying brother, Kyle. Patrick Duffy has aged well (despite having the same hair cut as he did on Step by Step, except gray.) Since Patrick Duffy is old, of course, he is retiring and closing down the clinic.

Then the dreamy Mr. Campbell calls and tells Vanessa that she is up for a promotion and needs to come back ASAP for a board review. I’m skipping some things because it is a bunch of pretty boring family scenes. (who has ever stung popcorn and hung it on a tree, seriously!) or scenes of Kyle trying to mack on Shelly Novak (the most unbelievable high Schooler since Andrea from 90210). Things are going great until Mitch falls off a ladder and Vanessa reschedules her interview to care for her ex.

Mitch makes a miraculous recovery, literally overnight, and is out roaming the “snowy” streets with Vanessa where their romance is rekindled. A stroll through town wouldn’t be complete without Christmas carolers aggressively singing “We Wish you a Merry Christmas” which spawns the classic discussion of how there are no figs in figgy pudding. (Kill me.) He gives her a gift he meant to give her in high school but tells her not to open it until Christmas Day.

On Christmas Day, Vanessa has a lovely time opening presents with her family. (even Kyle…) She gets a very special stethoscope from her Dad! After Mitch brings over the whole town for Christmas dinner, Vanessa packs her tiny suitcase and is en-route to the airport when she remembers the gift from Mitch! It is a snow globe, the worlds most useless present. (Unless you are Richard Gere in Unfaithful.) This gift is apparently enough to win Vanessa back and keep her home to work in her Dad’s shadow…forever.

Side Note
Apparently, Hallmark thinks that people of color ONLY live in LA. Every minor role was a POC but once we got to whatever town Vanessa was from it was whites only.

Vanessa fixing Bear for that child (Casey) could have been cute. Except that for that child actor’s creepy delivery of “Thank you, Dr. Turner.” I seriously thought we took a turn in genre and suddenly ended up in Poltergeist.

Giving Shelly Novak a backpack did not help in making her look younger. Maybe it was the fact that Kyle looked so young and was throwing everything off casting wise.

Ways Kyle is THE WORST:

• He can’t decorate
• Not strong enough to hold a Christmas tree while his mother decided where to put it
• Broke Vanessa’s sentimental star.
• Eats all the advent calendar candy
• Ruins endings of books
• Fail baker
• Eats cookies he baked for someone as a gift, before he could give them
• Drives in a very obvious green screen car.

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Overall rating
🎄🎄🎄 (3 Christmas Trees)
🍷🍷 (2 glasses of wine required)