The Knight Before Christmas (2019 Netflix)
Cast: Vanessa Hudgens, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Josh Whitehouse
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Synopsis (via Netflix)
A medieval English knight is magically transported to the present day, where he falls for a high school science teacher who is disillusioned by love.
Thoughts
We start off in medieval times with a Netflix budget. (This includes castles, live horses, and lots of medieval speech.) Two brothers ride off into the wintry, snowy woods. One brother (Sir Cole) comes across a witch in the middle of nowhere. She gives him a sparkly stone and tells him he is to go on a quest before Christmas Eve. Sir Cole has been transported away, and his horse (and brother Geoffery) are freaked out.
Vanessa Hudgens, aka Brooke, is in Ohio and a cool teacher who gives her students advice about love. She doesn’t believe in the fantasy of true love and thinks GPAs are more important than boys. Brooke’s sister calls her and asks if she can take her niece to the town square. Sir Cole is also at the town square and is very confused. (Girls see him in costume and ask him to take Selfies. He is like WTF?) Brooke bumps into him and spills hot cocoa on his shiny armor.
Escalating things very quickly, Brooke hits Cole with her car. Sir Cole is physically fine but is asking about his horse and has concerns about Brooke and the police. They take him to the hospital to check for a concussion. At the hospital, Sir Cole checks out physically fine but thinks he is a knight because he is! The doctors recommend that he take it easy until his memory comes back. Brooke takes him into her guest house because she feels so bad about hitting him with her horse — I mean, car.
Sir Cole is impressed with her manor, and everything is new and confusing to him. Total fish out of water, and I love it. (He thinks the radio is a mini minstrel and requests a cauldron for a bath. Cue shirtless actor!) He then starts a bonfire in her backyard and hunts skunks for dinner. Brooke puts the fire out and takes him to a restaurant. Where Sir Cole calls out for servers: “Another one, wench!” Then he almost sword-rights her ex-boyfriend, who is a scoundrel. (Very funny, so well acted by Josh Whitehouse.)
A sponsored Amazon Alexa bit happens. Sir Cole asks Alexa for his horse and is disappointed that she only plays Christmas music. Then he watches Netflix’s Christmas in the Wild. #Ad Sir Cole studies TV and learns all the modern lingo. He invites Brooke to Nextflix and chill.
While unpacking Christmas decorations, Brooke admits that both her parents recently. Sir Cole also lost his parents when he became a knight. They find commonality in their loss. He asks her to just call him Cole and then makes fun of her artificial tree. She takes him to chop down one at a Christmas Tree lot.
Brooke reluctantly lets Cole drive her car. He swerves all over town and parks on a sidewalk. The townspeople don’t seem too concerned. Cole keeps mistaking the town Mrs. Claus for the witch in the woods. Santa sets him straight and gives him advice. He is on a mission to fulfill his quest before Christmas Eve and tells Brooke about everything, and she is considering that he might really be a time-traveling knight.
A Christmas Feast is happening for some reason. Brooke and Cole go to the grocery store, and Cole buys all the hot chocolate because he loves it. Then he eats dinner rolls out of the package while making faces. Cole asks Brooke to let him make some decent bread. Cue romantic baking but no flour fight.
Brooke’s niece and BFF go missing in a snowstorm, and Cole tracks them through the woods. The girls went out onto an icy lake, and it started to give way. Cole tells the little girl to crawl on her belly like a snail to get to safety. The little girl makes it out of harm’s way, and Brooke and her family are indebted to Cole. Cole can’t stop saving the day and stops a pickpocket in the town square.
It is Christmas Eve, and Brooke gets Cole (and herself) all dolled up for the Christmas feast. She gives Cole a Christmas Orange and a half dollar for a gift. At the party, everyone is very grateful to Cole. Sir Cole dresses up as a knight and takes pictures with the town kids. Cole learns about mistletoe and kisses Brooke. The stone lights up, and Cole has to return home for his brother’s knighting ceremony. Before he goes, Cole thanks her for helping him believe in himself.
Brooke runs into her student at the beginning of the movie and tells her that true love exists because she has experienced it with Cole. The student is confused and walks away. Brook goes home, eats Mexican food alone, and cries by the Christmas tree.
Back in medieval times, Cole and his brother are reunited. The reunion is short-lived, and Cole goes back to find Brooke. (With the help of the witch in the woods.) Cole and his horse find Brooke in the town square. He asks her if she will have him, and she says nothing will make her happier. They kiss multiple times. They ride off together but remember, ladies, GPA before boys.
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Overall rating: Pour it up
🎄🎄🎄🎄 (4 Christmas Trees)
🍷🍷 (2 glasses of wine required)
*Photo Credit: © 2019 Netflix
I saw this tonight and the “wench” scene made me laugh out loud. This was very cute . I enjoyed watching it. But I was bothered by Cole’s brother’s shirt. It looked like something a Victorian lady would wear.