Ice Road Killer (2022 Lifetime)

Ice Road Killer (2022 Lifetime)

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Cast: Sarah Allen, Colton Royce, Zoë Belkin,

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Synopsis (via Lifetime)

During a road trip to a remote northern cabin, a mother and her teenage daughter pick up a young hitchhiker who turns out to be a thief fleeing a cold-blooded killer, only to become his next target. Sarah Allen and Zo Belkin star. (2022)

Recap/Wine Thoughts

Helen Taylor drives on an icy road while arguing with an admissions counselor on her phone. (Distracted driving is dangerous!) Helen almost runs over a pedestrian/hitchhiker who asks for a ride. The young hitchhiker, Carly, reminds Helen of her daughter. (Who, Helen, happens to be heading to pick up from college.) 

Carly isn’t as trustworthy as she appears to be. The hitchhiker pretends to be texting her parents but communicates with Boyd, her boyfriend. She is working a con, and Boyd insists that they keep the scheme going. They find unsuspecting people on the road and carjack/rob them. The arrival of Helen’s daughter throws a wrench into their plans. So does the gun Helen keeps in her glovebox? 

At a rest stop, Helen and Carly pick up Laura, Helen’s daughter. Boyd is also there and encourages Carly to continue riding with Laura; they need the money for Christmas presents. Boyd is supposed to follow along, but a trucker with a teddy bear hanging from the review mirror blocks him in. Boyd confronts him, and the Teddybear Trucker kills him. Then he steals Boyd’s phone and impersonates him so Carly is none the wiser.

Bye Bye Boyd!

The Teddybear Trucker comes barreling down the icy two-lane highway. The driver aggressively passes them and then slams on the brakes. Carly flicks off the driver and screams, “Screw you!!!” Which is a mistake. ( But it is HILARIOUS!) Helen tells Carly to knock it off because “You shouldn’t mess with truckers.” She should know because her husband apparently used to be one. (Random detail. Or is it?) The trucker almost runs them off the road.

Not the blurred finger!

The trucker messages Carly as Boyd and tells her to pull off and stay at a hotel to ditch the aggressive driver. Helen and Laura agree with the plan but want to report the incident to the police. Carly convinces the ladies that filing a police report will be too much work, and they need to rest.

At the hotel, Carly stays behind while Laura and Helen head to grab some dinner. (Where Helen tells her daughter she can’t afford college anymore.) Carly steals the only cash and jewelry Helen has left, then waits outside for Boyd to pick her up. A text comes in, and it is a picture of Boyd’s dead body. Carly screams and realizes she isn’t as bad as she thought she was. She rushes back into the motel room, grabs a flower vase to protect herself.

When the coast is clear, Carly meets Laura at the restaurant and downs shots. Then she asks Laura for the anti-nausea pills she is trying to hide. Carly knows Laura is pregnant. Laura begs Carly not to tell her mother, which isn’t a problem for Carly. She has more significant concerns. (See dead boyfriend.)

My roommate in college used to kill my stuffed animals.

Helen is not a drinker and goes back to the motel room. As she is getting ready for bed, there is a knock at the door, and outside hangs a teddy bear by a noose. Helen gets her gun and marches over to the truck parked in the motel lot. Then she opens the truck and cuts the power to the battery. 

The weather is getting worse, but that doesn’t deter Helen from gathering the girls and hitting the road. Helen is paranoid and thinks someone is following her. Helen is right, and the Teddybear Trucker takes an alternate route to the cabin. 

Run!

Carly notices Boyd’s truck and asks them to pull over frantically. An attractive police officer tells them that they are investigating the abandoned vehicle. Carly doesn’t wait around for clarification and screams for Boyd, following his tracks in the nearby woods. Carly finds Boyd alive in the woods, bloody and tied to a tree. He tells her to run. The Teddybear Trucker shows up behind her and tells her that she robbed him once before, and this has all been an act of revenge. 

Carly pulls out the gun and screams, “This is for Boyd,” before firing an empty gun. Helen stops Carly from being attacked and holds the trucker at gunpoint while Carly gets Officer Sexy. 

The Teddybear Trucker explains to Helen that Carly deserves what is coming to her. If he can’t have Carly, he won’t stop stalking Helen and her daughter, so Helen lets him get away. The police officer tells them to stay in public and out of trouble. He sends them to a local diner.

Helen used to be a badass.

Carly sits down at a diner with Helen and Laura and explains everything to them. They eat some Mulligan Stew. All is forgiven, and they decide to work together to stop the Teddybear Trucker. Where did Officer Sexy go, you ask? It was a busy night; there was a pile-up on I-95, and he had to go. 

The storm rages on, and there is no cell signal, and the landlines are down. The diner has a bedroom where women can stay overnight. They barricade themselves in the bedroom and have a heart-to-heart. Laura comes clean about the pregnancy to her mother. This goes over better than expected, and Helen seems fine with it. They all go to bed, but Carly sneaks out with the gun to kill the Teddybear Trucker. (Who is conveniently parked outside of the diner.)

RIP!

Laura tries to stop Carly from committing murder, but the Teddybear Trucker grabs her from behind and throws Laura into the snow. The two young women fight the Teddybear Trucker as if he were some villain in a horror movie. Carly doesn’t make it and is stabbed to death. The Teddybear Trucker kidnaps Laura. 

Somehow, Helen sleeps through the whole thing. (Maybe it is all the driving that has got her sleepy.) Helen wakes up just in time to see Laura being driven away in the big ass truck. She chases them down but is low on fuel.  

Eventually, Helen follows the Teddybear Trucker to his home and watches him chop wood for a while. Helen finds Laura coat and cries into it, it is time for her to pull it together.

Helen sneaks into the house and finds it filled with stuffed animals in boxes marked “Emma’s Stuff.” Once she finds Laura, they realize that the Teddybear Trucker lured Helen to kill them both. 

The Teddybear Trucker chops down the door with an ax while screaming some backstory that is incoherent. While the Teddybear Trucker shouts, Helen hotwirtes the big rig.

The Teddybear Trucker pulls them out of the truck and knocks them out. He shouts, “This is your last stop!” The Teddybear Trucker ties them up in the garage this time. (Will he ever be stopped?) While chopping some more wood, he continues to mumble to himself. He plans to burn the house down and them all with it. 

Helen frees herself and fights with The Teddybear Trucker. Helen smashes his head with a tire iron (like a lot of times) and then unties her daughter. They walk through the cold in an attempt to get help and end up hitchhiking. A good Samaritan picks them up. The end!

Side Note

Minority Report: Officer, Diner Owner, Good Samaritan, 

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*** I’ve updated the rating system moving forward. Knives represent # of kills. Wine is over enjoyment (NOT a value judgment) on a 1-5 scale.

 I will use the following tags for those who want to know whether to watch or skip: Pour it Up (Would Recommend) or Put A Cork In It (Would Not Recommend). 

Overall rating

Number of Kills: 

🔪🔪🔪 (3 Knives)

Enjoyment Level: 🍷 (1 glass of wine.)

What did you think of the movie? Let me know in the comments or on social media @LifetimeUncorked

*Photo Credit: © 2022 Lifetime® | A+E Networks®

Live tweet along with @LifetimeUncork using the hashtag #IceRoadKiller

2 Comments

  1. I know lifetime movies aren’t academy award type of movies. But the acting, the plots, and everything sux. I watch these movies when I wanna have something on tv while i do other things. If I sat and watched I’d lose my mind. Especially when you realize that the movies are so unrealistic and ridiculous that it’s pathetic.

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