The Killer with No Name (2024 Lifetime)
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Adam HarperCast: Kabby Borders, Brianna Butler, Adam Harper, John Castle
Director: Jeff Hare
Writer(s): Declan Dineen
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Synopsis (via Lifetime)
Recap/Wine Thoughts
inspired by True Events (Meaning me because I have a podcast and moved to my hometown.)
The movie starts with your typical blonde trapped in a basement, screaming for help. Her name is Fiona, and she is a podcaster. Fiona arrived in her hometown one week earlier to spend time with her mother. (Who loves gardening, but only in potted plants beside the garden.) Fiona’s mom needs help understanding what a podcast is!
The family is the wealthiest in town, and they throw a black-tie affair. Fiona’s best friend Daisy re-introduces Fiona to Joe, who is not a doctor. (Fiona dumbly says, ” You’re a doctor! You save lives!”) Fiona blows Joe off to talk to her mentor, Rafel. He wants her to look into a cold case around town on her podcast, the girl with no name. (Someone watches them from afar.) The mentor is killed in literally the next scene. (By someone he knows.)
Fiona finds the body and her mentor’s house staged to look like a break-in. She sees someone dressed in all black running away from the house. Before she calls the police, she steals the case file for The Girl With No Name. (Who is actually a baby, so that is bleak!) The police think it is a random break-in and write the death off as a heart attack.
To honor her mentor’s memory, Fiona throws herself into The Girl With No Name Case. Fiona meets with Dr. Joe, The Sheriff, and Daisy. Somewhere along the way, someone puts a tracker in her purse. It “CREEPS ME OUT,” Fiona shouts as she throws the tracker pathetically outside a barn door. (Haha, so dramatic.)
Fiona talks to a woman named Vicky Collins, who warns her about the dangerous Vineyard in town. Vicky lives in a double-wide trailer and tells Fiona that if she keeps digging, she might not like what she finds out. (Quick note: Daisy works at the Vineyard as an executive event planner.)
Oh damn. The sheriff and vineyard owner look identical, and I might have confused them. Marcus is the owner of the Vineyard and is a shady character. Fiona takes a tour with Marcus, and he laughs off the rumors about the Vineyard. When Fiona snoops around with Daisy’s criminals, Marcus catches her and calls for someone to “take care of Fiona.”
Fiona goes on a date with Dr. Joe and has an allergic reaction to something in the food. She survives and then gets a call that says, in a distorted voice. (How do you get one of those?) “THIS IS A WARNING!!!” Fiona tells Joe about the strange call and tells her to get some rest, as if she is crazy. (The robe doesn’t help.)
Since this is a Lifetime Movie, Fiona isn’t going to do that. She goes back to the trailer park and tries to convince Vicky to go on her podcast and tell what she knows. Vicky tells Fiona about the female workers speaking up against Marcus’ father sexually harassing them, most of whom were paid off. Vicky can’t go public because she is too afraid. (They have this conversation, like, seventeen more times.)
RANDOM DRUG PLANT! The Sheriff plans drugs on Fiona to stop her from investigating and keep her in police custody. They say they are acting off a tip that came in, which turns out to be baby powder. (WHICH IS MORE DANGEROUS PROBS!)
Daisy suddenly has new evidence and meets Fiona at the Vineyard. She brings Daisy to the basement, where Marcus waits to chloroform her. When Fiona awakes, she learns from Daisy (who talks from behind a closed door) that Marcus and Daisy trapped her in the basement to ensure the sale goes through on the Vineyard. Daisy plans to run off with Marcus, who promises to leave his wife and father’s business behind. (She is fooling herself!)
Speaking of the wife, she comes home early from her trip and hears Fiona calling for help in the basement. (She is like, WTF?) The wife, Emily, agrees to help Fiona. Marcus comes down and tries to lie to Emily, but she isn’t buying it and escapes with Fiona.
Fiona and Emily run through the woods to the trailer park and scream for help. Vicky hears them, finishes her beer, and then hits Marcus with a shovel. Fiona doesn’t want to go to the Sheriff but appeals to the deputy instead. Deputy Wanda finds the stolen Girl With No Name files in the Sherrif’s office, and she gives him the most disapproving look.
The Sherrif admits to everything, including confronting Raf and causing the heart attack. Deputy Wanda takes Fiona to the Vineyard. (So Fiona can watch while she arrests Marcus?) They go to the cellar and find Emily tied up. The deputy arrests Marcus and Daisy.
Before she leaves town, Dr. Marcus shows up with DNA on The Girl with No Name, and she turns out to be Fiona’s sister. Fiona rushes to confront her mother, but she has gone missing. They find her dousing all the files and recordings with gasoline by the grave of the baby. The mother had been one of the abused girls and had a baby with Marcus’ father. She was paid off to start a new life.
Side Note/Stray Thoughts
This is the first Lifetime movie about a podcaster that didn’t feature ANY actual podcasting footage! (We do see her packing up a microphone, haha.)
Misleading title, there is no killler or murder at all. The Original Title was The Girl With No Name
I’m not convinced that Sheriff and Marcus are not played by the same actor with different beard lengths.
Kabby Borders throwing things is HILARIOUS!
While I DID Put a Cork In It, it was kind of fun to watch in a so bad, it’s good kind of way.
Overall rating
Number of Kills: 🔪 (1 knife)
Enjoyment Level (1-5 scale)
🍷 🍷 (2 Glasses of Wine)
Should you watch it? No. Put a Cork in It (Skip It)
What did you think of the movie? Let me know in the comments or on social media @LifetimeUncorked & @patrickmiguel.
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*Photo Credit: © 2024
I really wish I had read this review before I powered through watching this movie
You are hilarious, love your reviews, just too funny!