Don’t Scream It’s Me (2024 Lifetime)
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Cast: Kaylah Zander. Nathanael Vass
Director: Wendy Ord
Writer(s): Taylor Warren Goff
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DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearlySynopsis (via Lifetime)
Fifteen years ago, Liz’s ex-boyfriend, Drew, was caught robbing a bank. Now, he’s in her backyard, asking her to hide him after a prison escape. She agrees to help–but only once her husband is out of the house. Starring Kaylah Zander, and Nathanael Vass (2024).
Let me know what you thought of the movie in the comments below or @lifetimeuncorked
Recap/Wine Thoughts
A man walks on the side of the road and makes a pit stop at The Cherry Pit Restaurant, where a blonde waitress closes up while chatting on the cellphone to her gamer boyfriend. On the news, there is a breaking story about two escaped inmates. The man is one of them. He kills her.
Cut to Liz, who wakes up in her beautiful home and makes coffee while practicing French. Her husband is a dumb jock, and I’m into that vibe! Liz is less into him and thinks Jay is kind of a deadbeat. He is a cop and looks good in uniform!
Liz hangs laundry to dry and has the feeling she is being watched. (Because she is, the hot inmate who escaped sneaks up behind her and grabs her.)
The inmate’s name is Drew, and he used to date “Lizzie” in college. He asks her to hide her, and she refuses, but he gives him some clothes and food. Liz calls into work and decides to help her ex-boyfriend.
Once Drew is out of his handcuffs, he tells Liz it is good to see her. She doesn’t feel the same, or does she? Drew enjoys a bowl of cereal and looks at Liz; he tells her it is the best moment he has had in a long time.
Drew tries on some of Jay’s clothes and asks about her husband. There is a knock at the door, and the other inmate pretends to be a cop, going door to door. Liz invites him in for coffee and tries to play it cool while he searches the house for Drew.
Eventually, Drew jumps out and fights with his partner in crime; they struggle over a gun. The other inmate handcuffs Drew to the fridge and pulls a knife on Liz. She grabs a nail file and puts it in her bra.
The inmate sends Liz to hide his getaway car and forces her to give him her husband’s cop uniform once he learns Jay is a cop. Jay calls Liz, but she can’t tip him off to her situation because they aren’t in sync like that. Now in his police uniform, the inmate enjoys some whiskey and the view.
Liz grabs the gun from the inmate, and Drew helps her overpower him. They handcuff him to the fridge in place of Drew. Drew tries to kiss Liz, and she is like, WTF? Liz is over it and tells Drew to leave. They go to the getaway car and find Mallory, the waitress from the diner, in the trunk. She is alive!
Liz and Drew move Mallory to her car so she can take her to the hospital. Drew goes along for the ride and keeps Mallory awake in the back seat because she is concussed. He uses the opportunity to tell Malory his love story with Liz and how he ruined it by robbing a bank and getting imprisoned for life.
The other inmate comes to and picks his handcuff off with a twist tie from a bunch of kale. KALE!!!! Liz’s co-worker stops by and becomes his hostage.
Liz and Drew have to go back to the house to save the co-worker with the red glasses. Jay also heads home and finds Liz there. Drew hides, and Jay tells Liz that her ex-boyfriend is one of the escaped inmates. We learn that Liz met Jay when she was going to the jail to visit Drew.
Somehow, the other inmate attacks everyone and ends up dead. Jay pulls a gun and asks Liz if she is harboring a fugitive. Jay is suspicious and jealous. Jay shoots Drew and tells Liz to grab a rock and hit Drew. When Liz refuses, Jay jumps on top of her.
Drew pulls out a gun, and the men get into a standoff. Liz ends that with a taser, and she calls 911. Liz tells Drew that she is done living her life for a man. She won’t wait for him anymore and will live life for HERSELF!
Side Note/Stray Thoughts
The actors did the most with this silly script.
Overall rating
Number of Kills: N/A (0 knives)
Enjoyment Level (1-5 scale)
🍷🍷 (2 Glasses of Wine)
Should you watch it?
Put a Cork In It (Skip!)
What did you think of the movie? Let me know in the comments or on social media at @LifetimeUncorked and @patrickmiguel.
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This was another one I had no faith in after reading the synopsis.
Truly dreadful (except for Jay).