House of Deadly Lies (2023 Lifetime)
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Cast: Leah McKenney, Jon McLaren, Katy Breier
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Synopsis (via Lifetime)
A stay-at-home mom takes in her struggling best friend to help her through a tough time but soon secrets are revealed that could tear her family apart and put everyone in danger. Stars Katy Breier, Jon McLaren, and Leah McKenney (2023).
Recap/Wine Thoughts
The movie starts off at a backyard barbeque. Paige Johnson is taking in a pregnant friend from high school, Joslyn, who has fallen on hard times. Paige’s husband, Michael, is a real estate agent and, for some reason, isn’t helping her find a place. Paige and Michael have a son named Tanner, who acts younger than his age and carries a teddy bear. The father and son have a family birthmark on their bellies that they show off at a BBQ. (Which is weird!)
The party dies down, and Michael slams beers instead of helping clean up. Paige looks for some trashbags and overhears Michael and Joslyn arguing. He tells her that she can’t stay in his home. When Paige interrupts, he storms off to the bar and tells Paige to shut up and get a job. (Damn!)
Mike apologizes for his behavior the next morning, but Paige doesn’t forgive him. She asks Joclyn about Mike, and just as Joclyn is about to tell the truth, she conveniently goes into labor. Since the father is unknown, the hospital has Paige serve as the father so she can be with her for the birth. Jocyln has a beautiful premature baby boy… with a birthmark on his belly.
Paige has yet to see it and invites Joslyn to live with them. It creates tension in Paige and Mike’s relationship. He gives Joslyn a week to find a new place. Paige goes to her mother, Dolly, and vents about the relationship. Dolly asks if Mike is getting abusive, but Paige assures Dolly that Mike is just stressed over money.
Jocyln doesn’t take the news about moving out well and becomes very worried, and isn’t resting well. Mike takes the baby in the middle of the night when Jocyln doesn’t wake to his cries. He suggests that he should take the baby since she obviously can’t take care of it.
FINALLY, Paige changes a diaper and sees the birthmark; her jaw drops! Paige brings the crying baby to Joslyn and screams, “WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO MEEEEEEEE!” Joslyn explains that she was violated when she was passed out drunk by Mike. Paige doesn’t believe her lifelong friend. (Which is soooooooooo messed up.)
Paige wears her best work attire and goes to Star Reality to talk to Mike. They tell her that he hasn’t worked for the company in months. Paige goes to a bar and orders water. Paige bribes the bartender into talking about Mike and his business dealings. (AKA drugs. Specifically cocaine.) The bartender also gives Paige a name, Raymond Demante.
Mike takes Tanner out for a day of fun and doesn’t tell Paige where he is going, it spawns a huge fight where Mike insists he is a good father and almost hits Paige. She is rattled and cries while folding laundry. (Serious question, have you ever cried while folding laundry? It is such a Lifetime Movie staple, but I wonder if people actually do that.)
Paige hires a PI, who is scruffy and brooding. She tells him about her husband, the baby, and her best friend. He is like, “WTF are you telling me all this for? Go to a therapist.” Then Paige mentions the DRUGS and Raymond Demante. That makes the PI’s ears perk up.
We are about an hour in, and nothing really has happened that wasn’t predictable in the first few mins of the movie.
Shitless hunk alert! (unfortunately, this one isn’t sexy, even though Jon McLaren is more jacked than I thought!) He aggressively tries to force Paige to have sex with him, and she fights him off, terrified. The next morning Mike acts like it never happened and even makes her a pancake breakfast.
Paige realizes it is time to split and convinces Joslyn to flee with her and the kids. Paige sells her wedding ring for some quick cash. Then she finds a bag full of cash in the garage and quickly packs her bags. Tanner throws a fit because he doesn’t want to leave his daddy. Instead, he leaves his teddy bear behind.
The mothers check into a cheap motel, and Joslyn is worried that the bag of money they found will wrap them up with the drug cartel that Mike is working with. Paige goes back to the house to get passports so they can leave the country, but Mike stops her. Paige grabs a fire poker and Mike slaps her across the face, which shocks her, but not for long. Paige beats him with the poker, grabs her son’s teddy bear, and runs out of the house.
Mike wakes up the next day and tries to find Paige. He leaves threatening voicemails on her phone and reveals way too much about his drug dealings. Then he tries to bully Dolly into to telling him where her daughter is, but she pulls a gun on him and isn’t having it.
They stop at a diner and call Paige’s mother’s friend named Raymond, who is not the drug dealer guy… or is he? He will help get them across the border. Joslyn suggests they stay at her parent’s remote cabin to lay low for a few days. The cabin is a wreck, but it does have a shotgun!
Mike finds the cabin and tells Joslyn that he will find her where ever she goes. Before he gets too violent, Tanner interrupts. Mike grabs an axe and scares Tanner. The kid runs into the woods and hugs his teddy bear.
Paige comes back from the store and finds Tanner. She tells him to be a brave bear and takes the Teddy Bear to distract Mike and lead him off Tanner’s trail.
The bear starts making sounds and leads Mike into the open. Paige loads her shotgun and fires a warning shot. (Which is stupid.) Mike knocks Joslyn out and strangles Paige. Tanner hits his father in the head with a rock and calls him a bad man. Just as Paige is about to shoot Mike, Joslyn wakes up and hits Mike with the butt of the axe. She delivers an unintentionally funny (or maybe it was!) version of the line, “You son of a bitch!”
The useless PI shows up and asks a few questions; he seems more concerned with the drug money/ (Which has gone missing.) The police arrest Mike and take him away. They don’t see the money-lined baby carriage.
Now in Canada, Paige and Joslyn raise their sons together! It’s like the Golden Girls, with kids! The end.
Side Note
Minority Report: None
I love a good Lifetime Blanket Baby!
Inspired by true events card at the top but Is House of Deadly Lies a True Story? Find out here
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Overall rating
Number of Kills:
N/A (0 knives)
Enjoyment Level (1-5 scale)
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Who would think to check the baby carriage. Also why fire that warning shot, she deserved to strangled for that stupidity.