Never Been Chris’d (2023 Hallmark)
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Cast: Tyler Hynes, Pascal Lamothe-Kipnes, Janel Parrish
Director: Jeff Beesley
Writer: Joie Botkin
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DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearlySynopsis (via Hallmark)
Home for the holidays, BFFs Naomi and Liz reconnect with high school crush Chris Silver. A complex love triangle forms, forcing them to take stock of their lives and find the value of friendship. Starring Janel Parrish, Pascal Lamothe-Kipnes, and Tyler Hynes.
Recap/Wine Thoughts
Best friends (They text each other when they get home, kind of best friends.) and tech business gurus Naomi and Liz swipe on guys on a dating app while drinking wine. (Are we sure this isn’t Lifetime.) Oh, wait, they are also watching “It’s A Wonderful Life.” and talking about what they would do if they could do it all over again.
The pitch doesn’t go well, and it is officially time for a vacation. Naomi gets along with her Christmas-obsessed mother too well, and Liz always fights with hers. They go home for the holidays and talk about running into Christ Silver, and then they immediately do. He asks them out since they are famous tech entrepreneurs.
After spending some time with their families, the girls go out to a bar and run into Chris again. He introduces them to his popular high school friends, and the girls feel insecure sitting at the cool kids’ table. Chris talks about serving time in the Marines, and then he went to school for English Lit. Now, he teaches at their high school. The bar hang is cut short, and Chris invites them to his vegan holiday party. He gives them his number, and the friends aren’t sure if they can play it cool.
Liz and Naomi explain to Naomi’s mom a saying they used to have a saying “Never been Chris’d.” It referred to the girls Chris dated who would instantly become popular.
At the vegan party, Liz is awkward and peruses his book collection, pulling out The Great Gatsby. Chris notices and tells her that he wrote his thesis about the book. They talk about its themes, which are also based on “you can’t go back in time,” like It’s a Wonderful Life.
Then, it is time for the Never Have I Ever Christmas Cookie edition. Everyone eats a cookie when asked, “Eat a cookie if you had a crush on Chris Silver.” Naomi eats a cookie, and Chris tells her that he always knew. He asks them to join him for a gingerbread bakery thing. Naomi and Liz begin to wonder who Chris is asking out.
Naomi’s mom plans to move to Palo Alto to be closer to her daughter. They have boundary issues. Liz feels left out of her mother’s new family, and the relationship is tense.
The maybe dates continue gingerbread house building, ice skating, and more. Liz fantasizes about kissing Chris and denies having a crush on him. Until she sees Naomi REALLY kissing Chris. Liz gives Naomi her blessing, and Naomi downplays the kiss, saying it was nothing.
While Naomi and Chris hang out, Liz joins the popular girls for Christmas Karaoke. They hype Liz up and tell her how cool she is. Liz is pressured into putting on The Jingle Ball. Naomi feels left out.
Liz tries to downplay her excitement and invites Naomi and Chris to her family’s Haunnukah party. Liz sees Chris eating Lox and accuses him of not being a vegan. She is trying to paint Chris as a liar so Naomi will break it off with him.
A developer wants to buy the app and increase the tension between the friends.
Naomi and Chris go on a romantic date, and he tells her he doesn’t want the relationship to end. They talk about the logistics of a long-distance relationship. They get bogged down by the details, and Naomi doesn’t expect things to happen so fast. She calls Liz, panicking. Then she sees him secretly eating a piece of her salmon! Chris is lying about being vegan?!?!? She breaks it off with him then and there.
The Best Pals get into a terrible fight. Naomi knows that Liz lied about getting into Stanford. Liz feels like Naomi has always been holding her back. They decide to sell their business and move on without one another.
It is the night of the Jingle Ball, and Chris talks to Liz. He admits to being a sometimes Pecitarian. He tells Liz that she and Naomi will work it out.
Chris and Naomi make up and decide to give the relationship a fair shot and figure it out.
Liz and Naomi also make up. They want to be in each other’s lives and are soulmates. They are also officially in the popular group, but maybe that doesn’t matter.
Side Note/Stray Thoughts
I’m glad the friends didn’t end up fighting over a man. I wish that would have been established earlier on in the movie.
Overall rating
Pour it up
Put a Cork in It
Christmas Feels
🎄🎄🎄 (3 Christmas Trees)
Enjoyment Level: 🍷🍷 (2 glasses of wine.)
What did you think of the movie? Let me know in the comments or on social media @LifetimeUncorked
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