Royal Hearts (2018 Hallmark Channel)

Royal Hearts (Hallmark)

Stars: James Brolin, Cindy Busby and Andrew Cooper

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Synopsis (via Hallmark)

Kelly, a hopeless romantic in Montana eager to finish her dissertation, and her father, Hank, a rancher, receive news that he has inherited an estate from a faraway land. When they travel there, they discover that Hank has not only inherited the estate, but the title that goes along with it – KING!

Thoughts

Kelly has a southern accent and is a professor at a state college, who likes to teach about Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. She throws some major shade on graphic novels on a date with a loser in a bar. Then she pines to her asian best friend that she wants a man to be chivalrous, she is looking for her Mr. Darcy.

When a sweaty and bumbling British man named, Mr. Grimsby arrives looking for Kelly’s Dad for an urgent matter. Hank is a cattle herder (or something in a large field with cows.) He has a cowboy hat and even thicker accent than Kelly. He is told that he has inherited an estate in Morania. Kelly tries to convince her dad that they should go to Europe, because she is up for a job at Oxford. Maybe it is time to grow up and go out and see the world. Her dad is offended that she doesn’t think, but agrees to go.

In Morania, Mr Grimsby picks Kelly and Hank up from the airport. They run into a block in the road caused by a handsome sheep herder and his sheep. Impatient to where they’re going, Kelly jumps out of he car and clears the rode herself, she is VERY annoyed at the handsome sheep herder. Finally at the estate, which turns out to be a very large castle full of servants, Hank learns that he is the Kind of Morania and Kelly is a princess!

Hanks immediately wants to go home and give back the title, until he realizes they have cows in Morania. Kelly needs to do research on the town and heads to the castle library. (Did I mention she loves books?) She almost falls off a ladders and is saved by THE HANDSOME SHEPARD, Alex. He takes cares of the animals on the estate, but also loves reading. After some banter back and forth, they go on a horseback ride through the mountains.

Turns out the castle is in pretty bad shape. The west wing is no longer being used and the place is falling apart. The butler tells Hank that the citizens of Morania will have their taxes raise to pay for the repairs. King Hank goes off to meeting with the counsel. (He proposes to create a cattle ranch, rather than raise taxes.) leaving Kelly to meet with King Nicholas of Angosha (The neighboring country, that wants to take over Morania.) He is charming and chivalrous.

King Henry really needs a cold beer and stops in a bar which just happens to be run by an American woman, who is SINGLE. (She mentions that her husband left her before she even gives her name… which is Joni.)

At a fancy dinner, King Henry proposes a toast to his guest from Angosia:

“Good Bread, Good Meat, Good Lord, Let’s eat!”

Too bad for King Henry there will be no meat or bread, they are serving escargot. He hightails it out of the fancy dinner and heads back to the bar for some supper with Joni, his bar wench, who now has a southern accent too! THey hit it off and agree to go fishing together.

Kelly and King Nicolas seem to be hitting it off. Whenever she brings anything political he changes the subject back to how much he likes her. They go out for an evening stroll and a horse carriage ride to a romantic tent with champagne. Kelly is spending so much time with King Nicolas, that she keeps blowing off Alex and his sheep friends.

At the Morania town festival, with a maypol and archery, Alex and Kelly shoot targets together. She learns that he went to Oxford for college and is impressed with him. Until, King Nicolas comes along and shoots a bullseye. Not to be out done, Alex shoot a bullseye too. Splitting the other arrow. Swoon?

At a fancy ball, Kelly is all dressed up by her lady maid and gets a necklace from King Nicolas. He greets her with an incorrect quote stating it was Shakespeare, Alex (who is a waiter at the ball.) is quick to correct that the quote was from Byron. After they dance, King Nicolas proposes marriage, you know she could grow to love him and he will do everything in his power to make her happy. She agrees to consider it, and he promptly announces to the party that they might become married. King Henry is not please and doesn’t raise his beer in the celebratory toast.

Alex is very distressed about the possible engagement, despite not spending any real time with her. He talks to Kelly in the stable and asks her why she is getting married to him, she says she isn’t he is just considering it. Alex then goes to King Henry and they will work together to get to the bottom of King Nicholas’ real motives for wanting to marry Kelly.

King Henry sits down with everyone to wrap this movie up. First up, King Nicholas and tells him that he does not approve of him not getting his blessing before proposing. He also tells him that Kelly is a handful and not likely to just sit around and be queen. Next is Joni, who tells King Henry to talk to his daughter. Finally, he talks to Kelly and tells her that he read Pride and Prejudice and she should not marry someone she doesn’t want to. Especially, if she is in love with someone else.

Kelly follows her heart and tells King Nicolas that she is not going to be his queen. Alex finds out that King Nicolas is bankrupt and needs the Morania land to develop something. King Henry proposes that the counsel run Morania and dissolve the monarchy. They negotiate a deal that sounds good, but is at the end of the movie, so who cares! Can we just get Kelly and Alex together yet?

Henry and Kelly throw a hoe down in Morania. Henry and Joni get together and so go Kelly and Alex. Then we get a voice over and learn that they get married at a royal cowboy wedding. Thee End.

Side Note

The whole movie is underscored with generic country western music in Montana and British music

Huge missed opportunity! No Hoedown Throwdown at the hoedown?

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Overall rating

❤️ (1 Hearts)

🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷 (5 glasses of wine required)