My Daughter was Stolen (2018 Lifetime)

My Daughter was Stolen (2018 Lifetime)

Stars: Katie Boland, Karynn Moore, Keisha Champagne

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Synopsis (via Lifetime)

A woman learns her mother (Kayla) kidnapped her when she was four. As she goes to the police, Kayla is trapped in a fire. She learns her birth parents are divorced, and her mother’s an alcoholic. She sees Kayla everywhere, but isn’t she dead?

Thoughts

News articles flash on the screen about an unsolved mystery involving the kidnapping of a four-year-old girl. It is an elaborate title sequence for Lifetime.

In Chicago, a nerd waitress/actress named Alisha takes orders at a diner. She is nerdy, like from a teen movie. (Beautiful girl who happens to wear glasses.) As she chases down a customer who skipped out on a check, Alisha is watched by a man and woman from their car. They are down on their luck and looking for some cash. Mikey and his pregnant wife Kayla slash her tires because Alisha has been stealing the wife’s acting gigs. Then they swig vodka in their car. (Disclaimer, I was in a production of RENT with the guy who plays Mikey. My review of this film will still be as savage as usual.)

Alisha does her audition despite the tire issue and sees Kayla’s car being towed. Since she is a nice person, she lets everyone inside know, and Kayla rushes out to try and sleep with the tow truck driver to stop him from towing her car. Then she is hit by a car in slow motion and has terrible special FX make up. Alysha in a coma and loses the baby. Mikey cries in the hospital.

Flash to four years later at an extravagant mansion. Alisha is on a hit TV series (Bayou Nights), married to a hunk named Jeff, and has a daughter Jessica. Alisha does an interview, and Kayla watches disgruntled in a bathrobe with Mikey and his side piece. Mikey is abusive and calls Kayla Frankenstein due to the scars on her face. She takes a frying pan and kills him AND his side piece. (Who later turns out to be her half-sister?) Then she goes to Alisha’s house and stands in her driveway to tell Alisha that she is her biggest fan. She renames herself, Sadie, and really comes off like a stalker.

Alisha brushes it off and recaps everything to her husband while drinking wine. She is creeped out, so her hunk husband offers to give her a massage. He didn’t mention that he would be doing it in a towel. His dad bod is on full display, and I’m not mad about it.

An elaborate birthday with a fun parachute happens. A furry named Mr. Moptop stands around menacingly. Then the plush character sneaks into the kitchen and almost grabs a knife to kill Alisha and steals pills. Alicia passes out and is poisoned, I guess. Mr. Moptop convinces Jesse to leave with him by telling the kid that he is her friend. Kayla takes off Mr. Moptop’s head and kidnaps the child while still wearing her plush body. Jessica is thrown into the back of a van with a dead body. Kayla tells Jessica to be nice to mommy, threatens her with an ax, and throws her in a basement with more dead bodies. THIS GIRL IS FOUR. It is the strangest sequence I’ve ever seen in a Lifetime movie.

Flash to ten years later, Alisha is back working at the diner and is not famous anymore. Jeff divorced her, and her daughter is still missing. Jesse isn’t missing; she is renamed Jackie and making hamburgers for her deadbeat mother, Kayla. A news story plays, and Jesse has flashbacks to her kidnapping. Then she finds a serial killer wall with news stories about her abduction. Jesse makes to get away and locks her mother in a burning house and goes to press who release the story.

Now a self-loathing alcoholic, Alisha sees the story and calls Jeff. They reunite to see their daughter again, even though Jeff doesn’t approve of Alisha’s drinking and set boundaries with his new wife. He applies for full custody of Jesse due to Alisha’s substance abuse issues. Alisha vows to get sober so she can see her daughter.

When she gets home, she pours herself a glass of vodka. LIKE A GLASS OF JUST VODKA. Before she gulps it down, Alisha dumps it down the sink. She enrolls herself into AA and is 30 days sober.

Jesse is paranoid and thinks she sees Kayla in the crowd of reporters outside. She is unsettled and struggles to adapt to her new life in Jeff’s care. Jesse doesn’t get along with Jeff’s wife or daughter. The family dynamic is strained, and after a blowout fight, Jesse storms off and runs around the city. She realizes she is being followed by a black van and really starts running. With no one left to turn to, Jess calls Alisha.

Alisha saves her daughter from some guys in an alley with a little mace and a knee to the groin. Kayla is alive and sees the whole thing; she was trailing Jess in the van, obviously. Alisha takes Jess in. When she calls Jeff, Alisha catches him having an affair. Then she blames him for the kidnapping because he wasn’t even at the birthday party, he was stepping out on her. Jeff is LAME. (but shirtless in this scene, so he is fine, I guess.)

Jess keeps seeing Kayla everywhere and finally tells Alisha to call the police. Detectives come and aren’t helpful. They say Jess was just dreaming. No one believes Jess, not even Alisha. When Jess sees a pile of wood and has flashbacks to the bodies in the basement, and tells Alisha. Alisha doesn’t seem too concerned about the dead bodies and leaves Jess home alone to go to the store.

With Alisha out of the house and neglecting her daughter, again, Kayla makes her move. She breaks into the house with a knife, maybe the same one she had as Mr. Moptop. Alisha comes up from behind Kayla with a gun and forces her inside. She fires the weapon and ties Kayla up. Kayla tells Alisha how they first met. (Acting rivals and then a car accident.)

As Kayla is going through her monologue, Jesse punches her in the face, and it is hilarious. The police take Kayla away. In the cop car, Kayla throws up, and the detective pulls over. She frees herself and steals the cop car. Then Kayla pulls Alisha and Jesse over and starts shooting at them.

Does a low budget high-speed car chase happen? There are three mins left in this movie, can we wrap it up?

In a field now, Kayla has her gun but is taken down by Alisha with a baseball bat. The women struggle, and Alisha is knocked out. Jesse beats the crap out of Kayla until Alisha gets the weapon and shoots Kayla. Killing her with a single bullet. Mother and daughter hug and cry. The end. THE END?!?!

Side Note

Minority Report: Beth, Reporter, Camera people,

Also Known as Stolen

I was actually in a production of RENT with the guy who plays Micky.

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Overall rating

🔪 (1 Knife, but 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪 for getting everything so wrong, it is right.)

🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷 (5 glasses of wine required.)