The Beach House Murders (2024 Lifetime)
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Cast: Brittney Dorey, Cj Hammond, Ashli Auguillard
Director: Doug Campbell
Writer: Josh Ridgway
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DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearlySynopsis (via Lifetime)
Novelist Sarah becomes a prime suspect in a homicide after a one-night tryst with a mysterious stranger who turns up dead at her summer home. Brittney Dorey, Devante Winfrey, Ashli Auguillard, and CJ Hammond star (2024).
Recap/Wine Thoughts.
The movie begins with a girl getting ready for a date night. She is attacked in her vast walk-in closet and murdered. (?) Police arrive on the scene and see a wedding video playing. They also find a man with literal blood on his hands in a state of shock.
One year later, the woman who was “murdered” survives; Sarah isn’t dead and is an award-winning journalist with writer’s block. If the post it’s were on the front of her laptop, she’d have more ideas.) Sarah is paranoid about being followed. Her best friend Alice stops by to check on her friend. Sarah doesn’t want help but takes Alice up on her offer to stay at her beach house for the summer to finish writing her book.
The house is not really it. I was anticipating the beach house, but it is just a house with a gate that opens to the beach. Sarah talks a walk, and a guy recognizes her from a true crime novel she wrote about the Gateway Murders. Sarah is flustered and embarrassed by the attention.
Later, at a restaurant, a handsome man named Tony makes small talk with Sarah. He was in the Marines and invites her to join him for a meal. He is interested in Sarah’s writing. He somehow knows she is from LA, and Sarah is suspicious. Tony wins her over with his vulnerability and handsomeness.
Sarah runs along the beach and stops at a coffee shop. She sees her ex, Miles, and tells him to get away from her. Sarah creates a scene by screaming, ” IF I SEE YOU AGAIN, YOU GOING BACK TO JAIL!!”
Through a flashback, we see Sarah and Miles in an argument. Miles is drunk and accuses Sarah of being unfaithful.
Sarah wakes up, and a man in some skimpy underwear is in bed with her. He is a super fan who rubs his nipples while recapping her books to her. I wait for Sarah to wake up, but this is not a dream. When the police sirens sound, the man rushes off in his bikini briefs.
Alice rushes to the beach house to be with her friend. Sarah tells her friend about Miles and her bikini-clad super fan. Alice grabs a bunch of golf clubs and pepper spray to keep Sarah safe.
Miles stops by, but Sarah chases him off with a golf club. She asks him what he wants, and Miles claims his innocence. We learn that Sarah was attacked from behind, and Miles was arrested for the crime. He served his time AND went to therapy. He promises that he is better. Then Alice pepper sprays him and beats him with a golf club. (Haha!)
Tony comes over for dinner, and he listens to Sarah’s crazy past 24 hours. She doesn’t scare him off. They makeout in the pool in slow motion and then have some sexy time.
When he leaves the following day, Sarah sees Tony talking to Mr. Speedo. (Her mistrust of Tony returns.) She decides to follow him in her Tesla while wearing a bathrobe. She sees him grab a rope and some duct tape. She is done with Tony.
Sarah becomes increasingly paranoid. Mr. Speedo steals her computer and an unfinished manuscript. He calls her and attempts to extort her for 100K!?! Sarah doesn’t have a backup and is screwed. She decides to buy some cookies from the store and apologize to Tony. She needs his help.
Tony busts out a paper cutter and starts making counterfeit money?!?! This movie has lost its mind.
Sarah meets with Mr. Speedo in the woods because why not? While Mr. Speedo rubs the money all over his body sensually, Tony jumps him. They struggle, and Sarah gets punched in the face. Mr. Speedo runs off with the laptop, but not before hitting Tony in the leg with a stick.
In bed, Tony tells Sarah she is “the most fun he has had since Afghanistan.” Sarah takes some sleeping pills before bed and wakes up to find Tony dead. Stabbed in his sexy stomach.
The police arrive, and Sarah tells them about Mr. Speedo. They don’t believe her and implicate her as a suspect. Alice tells Sarah to come back to LA and calls her an idiot. Sarah accuses Alice of stabbing Tony, and Alice tells her friend that she is confused and fires her as a client.
Mr. Speedo calls Sarah and gargles. (The weirdest scene I’ve seen on Lifetime in a WHILE!) He admits to being the one who attacked her in the walk-in closet. Then Mr. Speedo goes into a Jerry Lewis impression and calls her a “slut.”
Sarah goes to the police and tells them that his ex-husband is innocent, but they laugh because Mr. Speedo is just a drug addict! WHO CARES!
Mr. Speedo attacks Sarah while carrying groceries. Miles saves her and hits Mr. Speedo with a tire iron. Miles was just coming over to give Sarah flowers, but he has to flee from the scene. Sarah claims self-defense.
Sarah makes a public statement on social media to absolve Miles of his crimes. He thanks her for clearing his name and even gets a job interview. They go on a date?!?!
Miles kisses Sarah after dinner and whispers that he… HATES HER! Then he plunges a syringe into her neck and admits he is a bad guy. He hired Mr. Speedo to stalk and claim her attacked Sarah. It was Miles all along. Then, Miles stages the scene so that it looks like Sarah drowned in the pool while drinking wine. Miles calls Sarah a lousy writer as he throws her in the pool. (Which is just RUDE!)
Alice shows up, hits Miles in the head with a flower pot, and dives into the pool to save her friend. Alive performs CPR!??! (Something else we rarely see in Lifetime movies.)
Miles gets his second wind and attacks Alice, Sarah wakes up just in time to stab Miles with a broken wine bottle and throw his ass into the pool.
Sarah and Alice drink by the beach, looking fabulous. Then Tony walks up, and Sarah jumps into his arms. (That is just a dream.) Sarah wakes up and tells Alice her next novel will be a love story.
Side Note/Stray Thoughts
Even though this was unhinged, I liked it?!?! Haha! I’m surprised, too!
Overall rating
Number of Kills: 🔪🔪🔪 (3 knives)
Enjoyment Level (1-5 scale)
🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷 (5 Glasses of Wine)
Should you watch it?
Pour it up! (Give it a shot)
Put a Cork in It (Skip It)
What did you think of the movie? Let me know in the comments or on social media @LifetimeUncorked & @patrickmiguel
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*Photo Credit: © 2024 Lifetime® | A+E Networks®
