Deadly Excursion (2019 Lifetime)

Deadly Excursion (or Paradise Prey)

Stars: Samaire Armstrong, Callard Harris, Alexandria DeBerry, Corin Nemec, Jonathan Bouvier

Listen to the Lifetime Uncorked Podcast here!

Synopsis (Via Lifetime)

A mother and daughter on spring break book a boat cruise with a disreputable captain, who secretly intends to kidnap the mother, and get rid of the daughter, burying her alive.

Thoughts

We start off with a blonde in flip flops and bloody cut off shorts running from a man on an island. She is limping and crying screaming for help. She sees a boat in the distance and calls for help but it doesn’t see her, so she falls in the water and drowns. The man follows her and looks for her in the water, he calls someone and tells them to let Senior Rodriguez know that he lost the asset and will find new one.

Samantha is opening a new restaurant and it is behind scheduled. David, her husband, are taking a break because her co-worker, Barbara, slept with him. She needs a vacation and is going to take on with her teenage daughter, Ellie. (The look more like sister.) They are going to St. Petes for spring break.

David is a dentist and makes a call to Samantha to tell her her thinks it is a bad idea to go one this trip. Samantha and Ellie are like, “oh dad!”     

At their hotel in St. Pete’s the mother/daughter are followed by the same man from the beginning of the movie. He creepily looks at them while they talk to a handsome young shop clerk. Ellie and the shop clerk realize that they will be going to the same college in the fall. Later, at the bar, Samantha is drinking alone. (or so she thinks.) The creepy man is watching her again and he orders her a shot. He introduces himself as Javier LeBlanc (He speaks with a southern accent) and tells her that he owns a sailboat and does odd jobs. They drunkenly go to look at the moon by his boat and the one latinx person in the movie takes a polaroid of them for their memories. They are followed by the handsome young shop clerk who looks on longingly?

Back at the bar, Ellie is looking for her mom and she runs into the handsome young shop clerk. (His name is Ian.) He tries to order her a drink, but she declines because she is only 18. He tells her that his mom died and tells her that she is luck to have her mom. They seem to be hitting it off, especially when Ian tells Ellie that her smile is sexy. Ian admits that he saw her mom my the marina with a guy. Ellie is like, “ok, we should go there then.”

At the marina, Ellie finds her mom canoodling with Javier, bur is unfazed. They decide to go sailing at noon the next day. Ian and Javier look at each other they they are going to fight or fuck. Only time will tell.

The next morning, Samantha is hungover AF and drinks the worst looking bloody mary I have ever seen. She wears big sunglasses and doesn’t remember last night very well. She tells Ellie that she is having second thoughts about going, but of course they do. Dad David calls Ellie on her Apple Watch and tells her that he sent her mom flowers and he wants to repair their relationship. Ellie is like, maybe you should talk to mom about this. After hanging up David books a ticket to St. Petes

Javier is also making another call to someone and apparently the feds are onto them. He agrees to let whoever is on the other line have Ellie to themselves. He hangs up and they set sail. Ian is left on the dock and he looks sad.

On the boat, Ellie takes selfies, Samantha drinks red wine, and bicker like mother/daughters do. So do Javier and Senior Rodriguez on a call in the lower deck of the boat. (Which is off limits to the ladies.) Apparently, Senor Rodriguez only wants Samantha and not the daughter. Javier will have to get rid of her, he is reluctant to kill her but will do it anyway… because this is Lifetime.

Ellie and Javier go snorkeling, leaving drunk Samantha on the boat. Samantha gets sick from drinking too much (does she have a problem?) and goes down to the bathroom. She then snoops around the bed room and finds a bunch of passports, money, and two dead bodies.

Javier tries to drown Ellie but doesn’t anticipate that she is a fighter, she knees him in the balls and swims back to the boat. Javier swims after her and they get back to the boat. He grabs a harpoon and tells them to tie each other up. They all fight and smash a bottle of wine over his head, he falls off the boat and is presumed dead. They try to drive away but the boat is out of fuel. Then, they call Dad David and leave him a message. They are stranded on the boat and it is now nighttime. Who will save them?

David is in St. Petes now and he gets the message they left but it is all scrambled. He knows something is up and calls the hotel but they don’t know where they went. At the hotel David finds the polaroid picture that Samantha and Javier took. He heads to the marina and shows the picture around. David learns who Javier is and even finds someone who can radio him. With no luck in finding Javier or his family, David goes to the bar and runs into Ian. Ian tells him that he saw them earlier in the day. While they are talking, a news report comes on and the bartender is like “Hey, they are talking about that guy on the news, he is wanted by the police.” David calls the cops.

Samantha and Ellie see land and decided to make a swim for it, because it could be the last land they will ever see. They get their goggles and lifejackets (and nothing else) and make a swim for it. Once on shore, they make a fire. (NBD! They used to camp as a family.) They fall asleep and are awakened by two men with guns talking. They are looking for them, but aren’t good at their jobs. One guy even pees right by their fire and notices after finishing relieving himself.

The detectives talk to David and are maybe the worst actors in this movie. Ian sits down with David and tell him that he knows the island better than anyone and will help him find his family. David isn’t interested in Ian, not like Javier with his sexy stare.

In the morning, Samantha calls David to apologize for everything. David is like, “stop talking to me and turn on the location setting on your phone.” He gets her location and calls the police who think they found her body (It is really the flip flop lady) and won’t look for her since they found a body. David is taking matters into his own hand and is borrowing a boat and goes searching with Ian. (and Kyle, the guy who owns the boat.)

Back on the island, Samantha and Ellie see the said boat coming to them and they run through the woods. They find some ruins and hide there. It is the same place the flip flop woman was at in the beginning of the movie. They find the lady’s passport and a polaroid and run away. Thankfully, they find a jeep with the keys in it and are about to drive away but Javier shows up and conveniently uncovers his moped behind the jeep to chase after them.

Once they are stopped, Samantha gets out of the car and tries to reason with Javier. He just punches her in the face and knocks her out. Once, she comes too, he is extracting poison from a blowfish. (He basically puts a syringe in a fish and pull out a black liquid, haha.) All of this is to get Senior Rodriguez a wife. Javier also tells her that her buried Ellie. Samantha is like okay then and runs away.

Back on the boat, Ian pulls out a gun and admits to being Javier’s half brother. Ian shoots Kyle and attempts to drowns David on a moving boat. David is all strong and he knocks Ian out and drives the boat back to save Samantha.

The two men argue and Javier shoots David. Then Ian and Javier fight, until Samantha stabs him with the blowfish poison. With Javier out of the way, David and Samantha unbury Ellie (Who is in a shallow grave but also in a coffin?) David talks Samantha through CPR as Ian watches on and a helicopter comes to their rescue.

Flash to David and Samantha dropping off Ellie at college. They kiss and are back together apparently. The happy family talks while Ian watches on, because remember… they were going to the same college. Dun Dun Dun.

Side Note

Brian Sibbia Film, good for you dude!

Minority Report: This is the only tropical place that has no POCs. I really didn’t like that the male lead could have easily been a latinx character. Later, his cronies were authentic spanish speaking people but only had one scene and no impact on the story. They also had a POC contractor and the cop.

Overall rating

🔪🔪   (2 Knives)

🍷🍷🍷 (3 glasses of wine required)

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