The Virgin Sinners (2021 Lifetime)

The Virgin Sinners (2021 Lifetime)

Cast: Kaitlyn Bernard, Brenna Llewellyn, Brenna Coates, Keilani Elizabeth Rose, Carly Fawcett

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Synopsis (via Lifetime)

Seven schoolgirls, part of a clique dubbed The Sins, become the lethal target of an unknown killer after a harmless prank goes horribly wrong. Kaitlyn Bernard, Brenna Llewellyn, Brenna Coates, Keilani Elizabeth Rose, Jasmine Randhawa, Carly Fawcett, Natalie Malaika star. (2021)

Thoughts

The movie starts with a 1st Corinthians voice-over by Aubrey Miller, who was murdered and is now a dead body, with a rose in her mouth, at the bottom of a lake.

Grace and Hannah get ready for school. They are pretty blonde girls who go to catholic school. There are a lot of girls. Actually, it is giving me anxiety. Grace is part of a mean seven-girl group that is “no good.” They are known as the sins… seven deadly sins. 

Aubrey walks us through everyone’s secrets. Grace (Lust) and Tori (Wrath) are lesbians (SIN!) Katie is rich and greedy AF, (SIN!) Stacey is Envy, (SIN!) Robyn is Sloth because she is lazy (SIN!); Molly is gluttony and overeats. (SIN!) Aubrey was pride (SIN!) and doesn’t seem to fit in with the other girls.   

The sheriff and a teacher have sex on a desk? Then Aubrey’s voice-over talks about the separation of church and state. This movie is more interested in symbolism than character development.)

Grace’s father, who is a minister, finds out about the “Seven Deadly Sins.” from someone in the confessional. He bans Grace from hanging out with her friends and anyone she may be hooking up with. (Like her ex-boyfriend, Kit.) Grace does the opposite and doubles down, joining a satan worshiping cult?!?!?!

The girls start wearing a lot of lipstick and change up their hair. Grace finds Aubrey’s journal and realizes she is the one who told her father. She recruits the other girls to scare Aubrey with a satanic ritual. Aubrey cries as the girls put devil horns on her. Then they kidnap Aubrey while wearing freaking masks.

Aubrey is stuffed into a trunk and taken out to a lake house. Tori starts kicking the crap out of Aubrey and the other girls freak out. Aubrey runs into the woods while they argue. They are unable to find their friend and leave the woods.

The next day the girls are called into the principal’s office and questioned about Aubrey’s disappearance. Then they attend a candlelight vigil. 

When Katie is unceremoniously murdered, it seems like someone is trying to take out the seven girls. Next, it is Molly and has a pentagram carved into her stomach. The bodies are all found with roses in their mouth. 

Grace and Tori are appropriately freaked out and burn Aubrey’s journal. Then they cuddle and make out by the fire. (Which seems counterproductive.) Grace wants to run away, but Tori argues with her. They decided to find the killer before they can be next. Someone in a mask chloroforms them.

The killer shoots Robyn in the head for screaming. These murder scenes are abrupt and leave me wondering if they were edited shorter for TV. 

The killer turns out to be Aubrey, who faked her death and heard God talk to her out in the woods. Grace screams about Jesus as Aubrey talks in detail about her murder plans. Then she plays “Love me, love me not” with a flower subbing in “Kill for love.” As she talks, some random Ernie guy with a gun shoots her and makes Grace and Tori throw Aubrey’s body in the lake.

The sheriff shows up and tries to save the day, but Ernie shoots him. The deputy bust in just as Tori grabs the gun and shoots Ernie. Tori and Grace are brought into police custody as Aubrey’s voice-over continues with the first corinthians. There is no resolution or consequences for anything that has happened. 

Side Note

Minority Report: Katie, Stacey, Robyn, Alexis, Tyler, 

Also Known as The Sinners or The Color Rose

Director Courtney Paige is also an actress. 

This movie was a Lifetime acquisition, which explains why it doesn’t really fit into the typical Lifetime rhythms. The movie crammed a lot into an hour and 20ish mins. 

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*** I’ve updated the rating system moving forward start 7/26/2021. Knives represent # of kills. Wine is over enjoyment (NOT a value judgment) on a 1-5 scale.

 I will use the following tags for those who want to know watch or skip: Pour it Up (Would Recommend) or Put A Cork In It (Would Not Recommend)

Overall rating

Number of Kills: 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪 (5 Knives)

Enjoyment Level: 🍷 (1 glass of wine)

*Photo Credit: © 2021 Lifetime® | A+E Networks®

Live tweet along with @LifetimeUncork using the hashtag #TheVirginSinners

Christmas at the Chalet Lifetime Movie 2023, Teri Hatcher, and Chalet Girl? Lifetime Uncorked

Joyeux noël! We are recapping/reviewing It's a Wonderful Lifetime Christmas Movies. Today we discuss Christmas at the Chalet! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Will we "Pour it up" or "Put a Cork in it"??? ⁠⁠⁠Lifetime Uncorked⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠Deck the Hallmark⁠⁠⁠ collide on this monthly podcast covering your favorite TV movies! Brandon (Bran) Gray & Daniel (Dan) Thompson join Lifetime Expert ⁠⁠⁠Patrick Serrano⁠⁠⁠ to break Lifetime's TV Movie lineup for 2023. Follow us on social media for more content @LifetimeUncorked & @HallmarkPodcast Donate to Patrick's Cable Fund: ⁠⁠⁠https://ko-fi.com/patrickserrano⁠⁠⁠ Read Patrick's Recaps/Reviews: ⁠⁠⁠https://lifetimeuncorked.com/⁠⁠⁠ Listen to Patrick's latest single: ⁠⁠⁠https://patrickserrano.hearnow.com⁠⁠⁠ Check out other Bramble Jam Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠https://bramblejampodcast.com/⁠⁠⁠ Subscribe to our YouTube channel: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYuQwUKBmS2MouRnVhRLyig⁠⁠⁠ Watch Patrick's Lifetime Movie: ⁠⁠⁠Old Flames Never Die, starring⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠PATRICK SERRANO⁠⁠⁠! Business Inquiries | podcast@lifetimeuncorked.comFollow the Podcast @LifetimeUncorked & @⁠⁠⁠hallmarkpodcast⁠⁠⁠ Follow the Host @PatrickMiguel Support Lifetime Uncorked with a monthly donation:  ⁠⁠⁠https://ko-fi.com/patrickserrano — Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lifetime-uncorked/message
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