Haul out the Holly (2022 Hallmark)
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Cast: Lacey Chabert, Wes Brown, Stephen Tobolowsky
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Synopsis (via Hallmark)
Emily arrives home, hoping to visit her parents, only to discover that they are leaving on a trip of their own. As she stays at their house for the holidays, their HOA is determined to get Emily to participate in the neighborhood’s many Christmas festivities.
Recap/Wine Thoughts
Emily grew up in a Christmas wonderland. Her family dedicated so much time to Christmas that she never enjoyed it. They would put on the Christmas Carnival and give Emily a polaroid camera to take pictures of everyone at the carnival. Her neighbor helps her with the never-ending Christmas todo list.
Grown-up Emily continues to work on her Christmas todo list and is surprised to find her boyfriend, Dan, at home playing video games. He tells her that he isn’t into Christmas and wants her to give him a Christmas list. Emily breaks up with him because he has stopped trying in the relationship.
Emily goes home for the holidays and is surprised to learn her parents are leaving for Florida. They tell Emily to stay home and take care of the house and continue their Christmas traditions as a present for them. Emily’s Christmas todo list just got sooo much longer.
Jared, the neighbor boy, has grown up into quite a hunk. He works for the HOA and writes Emily up for not putting up her Christmas decorations.
At the Christmas tree lighting, the tree doesn’t light up, and the whole town blames Emily because it would have never gone down like that with her parents in town. Emily just wants to do Christmas her own way, but Jared and the town won’t let her.
Emily’s parents tell her where the to-do list is, and she stops watching Christmas movies and gets to work. Everyone in town is upset that she doesn’t know how things work around the holidays.
A cookie contest happens, and Emily’s are inedible. (Emily mixes up the salt and sugar.) Paula, the woman who always wins, pretends to be shocked and is overly emotional. Actually, everyone in the town are Christmas freaks.
Jared tells Emily that she is a disappointment to the HOA and fans of Evergreen Lane. Jared calls in backup to come over and help Emily get her decoration up. Jared is still a stickler, and everything is up to code. They enjoy hot cocoa afterward.
Kristopher Polaha shows up as Jessica’s husband, Kevin, in a brief cameo.
A town snowman-building contest happens, and then a snowball fight. Fake snow alert!
Emily finds an old box of polaroids she took when she was a kid and shows them to everyone at a Christmas sing-along. The townsfolk love seeing the memories, so Emily takes pictures of them this year while they open presents.
This movie is a whole bunch of nothing.
Emily learns that Jared needs a Santa for the Christmas Carnival and when she gets him one. Jared doesn’t seem thrilled. She realizes that Jared wants to be Santa for the town, and she asks him a la My Best Friends Wedding, “I’m just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to be Santa.” (Is that funny?!?!)
It is finally Christmas, and Emily wakes up to one single present under the tree. Her parents surprise her by coming home early from Florida. Emily talks soooo formally with her parents like they are making small talk at a work event.
Emily opens the gift, and it is her parent’s keychain. They are giving her the house and moving to Florida. Emily takes the free home, and the neighbor carol outside terribly, and they are invited inside.
Emily talks to Jared on the porch, and he is excited that she is moving back to town. She writes him an HOA citation. The penalty is one kiss. They kiss timidly.
Side Note
I have no clue what I just watched.
Minority Report: Neighbors,
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Christmas Trees represent the Christmas vibes.
I will use the following tags for those who want to know if they should watch or skip: Pour it Up (Would Recommend) or Put A Cork In It (Would Not Recommend).
Overall rating
Christmas Feels
🎄 (1 Christmas Tree)
Enjoyment Level: 🍷 (1 glass of wine.)
What did you think of the movie? Let me know in the comments or on social media @LifetimeUncorked
*Photo Credit: © 2022 Hallmark Crown Media
Live tweet along with @LifetimeUncork using the hashtag #HaulouttheHolly #CountdowntoChristmas
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