I Me Wed
Stars: Erica Durance
Synopsis (via Lifetime)
Successful thirty-something Isabelle decides to marry herself, becoming a public sensation. But when opportunity comes knocking, will she cheat on herself to pursue what might be true love with someone else?
The movie starts off with a terrible opening-credits sequence. It’s a montage of wedding trope set to a song about a girl who isn’t getting married and all her friends are. We assume this song is about our protagonist, Isabelle!
The song keeps going into a another montage of Isabelle getting ready in the morning and bopping round to the song in her apartment. She is a house flipper AND a relationship flipper. Isabelle can’t keep a man and isn’t interested in waiting around to let herself have the finer things in life, like a Luc Cuisine Wok and the Roster. Everyone is pressuring her to get engaged and settle down; her married friends, her single friend Amy, and, of course, her mom (who uses Isabelle’s dead father to guilt her into finding a man).
On the construction site of a house that Isabelle is flipping, we meet Colin, a handsome worker who refuses to call Isabelle by her name and nicknames her Izzy. Even after she corrects him and ask him to not call her Izzy. (But, for some reason it is okay for BFF Amy to call her Iz???)
After a terrible date blind date with a tag maker (who takes his job WAY too seriously and is an under-tipper) and another bachelorette party, Isabelle has had it and decides to marry herself.
Too bad Colin is so charming! He and his construction dad have a fun co-worker relationship, he thinks dolphins eat sushi, and he even dresses up as Paul Revere once a week and gives horse and buggy tours. (And somehow he went to Harvard and got a masters in architecture…but he is working for his dad?) Can she resist his charm and follow through with her commitment to herself?
Yes, she sends out the save the date. May third for the wedding of Isabelle to Isabelle. She then recruits Billy, her sassy black gay friend, to help plan her wedding. Amy would be the maid of honor but the whole thing is too weird for her. Plus, Amy is now dating terrible blind date guy because she is desperate to get married.
Isabelle’s mom is not approving of the whole ordeal. She doesn’t understand why Isabelle is doing this to her. Is Isabelle swearing men off forever? Or WORSE is she a Lesbian!!! The mom agrees to help pick out a wedding dress with her daughter. At the wedding gown boutique a shop girl happens to overhear their conversation. The shop girl is also a freelance writer and offers to write up a story for The Daily buzz (Direct quote: “A daily womens email that tells women what cool, the hot spots, new fashion…”) and Isabelle agrees (much to the delight of Isabelle’s mom).
Back on the construction site, Colin and Isabelle are becoming errand buddies. They go pick up a bathtub together and then go antiquing. They learn all about each while having a picnic in the park. Things get really hot and heavy after they both learn they like sports and she takes him to her apartment for a proper Lifetime Movie Sex scene. (Lots of back grabbing and soft lady singing in the background.)
The next morning, Isabelle thinks Colin has abandoned her but he went to Paul Revere work and stops by to throw her flowers from his horse and buggy. Isabelle isn’t going to not marry herself just because she got laid. The article went viral (or as viral as it could go in 2009.) and she gets an offer to be on The Nancy Singer Show and get her story in front of 10 million people.
Colin and Isabelle start officially dating. They kiss at the construction sight while rolling around on carpets and go on ice cream dates and kiss some more! They also have birthdays a few days apart, somehow and celebrate together with cake and kisses. He gets her the stained glass window pane they were looking for at the antique place. Then they have sex again, because it is Lifetime. Somehow Colin has not found out about this whole situation; he reads books and doesn’t have an email.
The Nancy Singer Show happen and they offers to pay for the entire wedding and a designer wedding gown. The small intimate ceremony has gotten too big and Isabelle is freaking out. She has to tell Colin before the segment airs the next morning. Unfortunately for her, it airs early and Colin sees it at a bar (because some lady at the bar is watching it, not because and men are interested!). Colin of course IS interested and upset that he didn’t hear about it from Isabelle herself. He comes around pretty quickly (like maybe 30 seconds?) and tells her that he loves her—and she loves him too. He then asks if he can bring a date to her wedding…
After Colin gets bullied by his co-worker, turns out he is not okay with it. He asks her to marry her! Isabelle tells him that he is too worried about what other people think. At a restaurant Isabelle and Colin try to hash it out, but the whole restaurant is in on the conversation and commenting and interjecting. They can’t come to an understanding and Colin breaks up with her.
At her wedding shower, Isabelle takes some time to reconnect with Amy (her former BFF). Isabelle is worried that Amy is getting married for all the wrong reasons. Amy doesn’t take it well and storms off, could she actually like tag guy?
Finally the wedding is here! All the paparazzi have arrived and the guests are out of control. Isabelle invited like 20 people but “there are like a gazillion”. Isabelle’s mom is taking this whole wedding very seriously and brings her something borrowed and blue. Before she puts on the dress, Amy shows up and offers to help her get it on. Amy admits that tag guy was pretty lame and she was settling.
It is the big moment. Isabelle is walks down the aisle with her mom and begins to get married to herself. As she is saying the vows she realizes that she can’t do it. She let things get out of control and doesn’t feel right about it and wants to do it her way, not this big spectacle. She is miserable because of the Colin breakup and runs out of the church crying. She comes back dressed and jeans and a head scarf and marries herself. Just like that?
While she is crying to her friends and family about how she messed everything up with Colin, he rides up on his horse and buggy. The is on the apology tour of Boston and tells her that she shouldn’t have made her choose from what she believes in and him. Isabelle tells him she saved the real wedding for him because he makes her happier than she has ever been. Cut to their actual wedding where they ride of in a horse and buggy to that damn song from the beginning of the movie.
Julie Sherman Wolfe is currently a writer for Hallmark Channel. Last year she wrote Marry Me at Christmas and Finding Santa. (Two movies that I enjoyed!) You can absolutely see those Hallmark leanings in this Lifetime movie.
Canadian Accents in this one were VERY VERY Strong.
Ugh! The gender stereotypes in this movie are soooo annoying.
❤️ ❤️ (2 Hearts)
🍷🍷🍷 (3 glasses of wine required)
*Photo Credit: © 2007 Lifetime