Homecoming Revenge (2018 Lifetime)

Homecoming Revenge (2018 Lifetime)

Stars: April Bowlby, Kim Director, Abbie Gayle

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Synopsis (via Lifetime)

When Isabelle Wagner takes the plunge to attend her twenty-year high school reunion with her daughter, Sierra, she comes face to face with her past when she is reunited with her former classmate rival, Andrea Turner. When a seemingly changed Andrea insinuates herself into their lives, Isabelle’s world comes crashing down, and she soon realizes that twenty years hasn’t changed Andrea after all.

Thoughts

The movie starts at Homecoming. Isabelle and Rob win Homecoming king and queen much to the disappointment of Andrea. Who sends Rob into anaphylactic shock with roses and then wrestles the crown from Isabelle falling into the audience and maybe dying?

Flash to twenty-odd years later, Isabelle is now married to Rob, and they have a teenage daughter named Sierra. The twenty-year reunion is coming up, and Isabelle is understandably not excited to go.

Neither is Andrea, who isn’t dead. She has a new breast and a hunky husband in a speedo. Andrea reminds me of the evil queen from Snow White. Especially when her husband tells her he would like a divorce because she is baren. Andrea won’t let him get away that, she hits him in the head with a conch shell and throws him in the pool. Then she rips up the divorce papers and throws them in the trash. Then she gets out her old yearbook and talks to pictures of Rob and Isabelle. Saying, “You will pay” while she slams the book shut. (Haha!)

The reunion happens quickly. Isabelle only goes because she is supplying the flowers for the event. She brings her daughter Sierra. They run into Andrea in a low cut red dress. Isabelle asks if she fell off the face of the world. “Just off that” stage Andrea jokes. The women apologize to one another and set up a time to catch up. Little does Isabelle know that Andra is now stalking her.

At brunch, Andrea admits that she laid low after the stage incident. She was in rehab for two years and doesn’t do social media, so she is hard to keep tabs on. Andrea goes as far as to ask Isabelle for a job at her flower shop. Isabelle tells Andrea she recently hired someone but is glad they can be friends.

In a BIG floppy hat, Andrea makes a list on a whiteboard a la mean girls. She then rushes to the flower shop and plants a camera in the store. When the new hire, Jasmine, comes outside, she gets tased in the butt and dies? IN THE BUTT!?!?! The next day when Jasmine doesn’t show up, Isabelle is overwhelmed with orders. (Most of them fake from Andrea calling in southern accents.) Isabelle hires Andrea to help her, and it goes so well she makes the job fulltime. (Rob isn’t into the idea.)

Can we talk about how Andrea keeps pulling money out of her cleavage? What is up with that? If you were wondering about the fake flower orders, Andrea finds a twink gay boy to pick them up for her. Andrea is a friend of the gays, of course.

Next on, Andrea’s to-do list is “The Kid.” Sierra is also nominated for Homecoming queen. Andra just happens to run into the girls while dress shopping and gives them some tips. At the dress store the next day, Isabelle is weirded out when she hears it was Andrea’s recommendation. Things get even stranger when Andrea shows up at the store to help Sierra try on dresses.

A woman named Molly was having an affair with Andrea’s husband. Molly warns Isabelle that Andrea most likely killed her husband. When Isabelle asks Andrea about lying, Isabelle blames Molly and calls her a stalker/murder. She says she lied because she was embarrassed about the real reason her husband left her. She is baren because Isabelle pushed her off the stage.

Andrea finds Molly and kills her next. Then she delivers flowers to a high profile event but intentionally kills them. The mayor freaks out on everyone when she sees the flowers. Like FREAKS OUT. Isabelle’s business is in serious trouble.

Sierra has to write a paper for class and wants to tell the story of her mom’s homecoming experience. Andrea offers to give her advice and overshares about Isabelle rigging the homecoming election twenty years ago. Then they talk about boys. Sierra likes a boy named Cody, a football player with a bad knee. Isabelle comes home and sees them bonding; she fires Andrea because she can’t be trusted.

At school, Sierra finally asks Cody to Homecoming. He is shirtless thankfully for us. He agrees to go and hobbles off. Then she gloats to Andrea and keeps spending time with her even after Isabelle fired her from work. When Isabelle finds out shes Sierra, promise to stay away.

Randomly, Isabelle is pregnant. She calls her husband, who has been absent this whole movie, but it goes straight to voicemail. When Sierra finds out, she gets jealous, because she is a child.

Rob appears to be back in this movie. He was on a work trip the whole time and wouldn’t miss his daughter’s Homecoming. He gets picked up from the train station by Andrea posing as a limo driver. (Hoe he didn’t know it was her, I have no idea!) She locks him in the backseat with roses everywhere, and he passes out.

Isabelle finally wonders where her husband and finds him in the flower shop. Andrea tasers Isabelle in the neck, not the butt, and promises when she wakes up, it will be to a dead husband and child.

Sierra and Cody win Homecoming queen and kind as Andrea watches on in a sexy red dress. She nods at the gay guy, Jamie, and a plan is set in motion similar to Carrie. Isabelle isn’t going to let that happen and pulls the fire alarm. Andrea jumps on stage and tries to strangle Sierra. (She also comically kicks Cody in the knee.) Isabelle rushes on stage and wrestles with Andrea, who falls off the stage again, this time to her death.

Pregnant as hell Isabelle dances with her absentee husband Rob at the mayor’s house. All is forgiven.

Oh wait, Andrea isn’t dead. She is making Homecoming crowns out of scrap metal she finds around jail. This is the best ending I’ve seen in a while, so funny.

Side Note

Minority Report: Principal Lewis, Hazel, Suzie, waiter, mayor,

Written by my fav Lifetime duo Lindsay Hartley & Jason-Shane Scott

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Overall rating

🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪 (5 Knives)

🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷 (5 glasses of wine required.)