Old Flames Never Die (2022 Lifetime)

Old Flames Never Die (2022 Lifetime)

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Cast: Yan-Kay Crystal Lowe, Lou Ferrigno Jr., Rich Paul, Valery M. Ortiz, Patrick Serrano

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Reba McEntire's The Hammer Lifetime Movie, Speeding Tickets, and Matty Finochio? Lifetime Uncorked

This month we are recapping/reviewing Lifetime's The Hammer, starring Reba McEntire, Melissa Peterman, and Reba's boyfriend Rex Linn!?!?! Will we "Pour it up" or "Put a Cork in it"??? Lifetime Uncorked and Deck the Hallmark collide on this monthly podcast covering your favorite TV movies! Brandon (Bran) Gray & Daniel (Dan) Thompson join Lifetime Expert Patrick Serrano to break Lifetime's holiday 2023 lineup. Follow us on social media for more content @LifetimeUncorked & @HallmarkPodcast Donate to Patrick's Cable Fund: https://ko-fi.com/patrickserrano Read Patrick's Recaps/Reviews: https://lifetimeuncorked.com/ Listen to Patrick's latest single: https://patrickserrano.hearnow.com Check out other Bramble Jam Podcasts: https://bramblejampodcast.com/ Subscribe to our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYuQwUKBmS2MouRnVhRLyig Watch Patrick's Lifetime Movie: Old Flames Never Die, starring PATRICK SERRANO! Business Inquiries | podcast@lifetimeuncorked.com Follow the Podcast @LifetimeUncorked & @hallmarkpodcast Follow the Host @PatrickMiguel Support Lifetime Uncorked with a monthly donation:  https://ko-fi.com/patrickserrano — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/lifetime-uncorked/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/lifetime-uncorked/support
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Synopsis (via Lifetime)

When successful novelist Kira Young returns to her hometown to escape bad press after her cheating fiancé Tyson is accused of murder, she rekindles a romantic one-night stand with her high school sweetheart Weston Wade, who soon develops an unhealthy obsession with her once again

Old Flames Never Die airs February 11th 8/7c on LMN

P.S. I’m in this movie!!!!! I play Jordi. (Thank you everyone at The Ninth House Productions and Lifetime for the opportunity. It is a dream come true being in a Lifetime Movie.)

Recap/Wine Thoughts

The movie starts with some strong male backs and lots of thrusting. (Starting off well.) A shirtless hunk named Tyson has hired a prostitute and sleeps with her in a dingy motel. She records the tryst and uses it for blackmail because he is a famous actor. The prostitute doesn’t get the chance because she is murdered in the motel parking lot with a crowbar. (YIKES!)

Cut to a fancy engagement party at a beautiful L.A. mansion. Tyson is getting married to his long-time girlfriend/successful writer, Kira. The couple celebrates their upcoming wedding with Kira’s BFF, Steph, and Tyson’s P.R. rep Jordi. (WHO IS PLAYED BY ME!

The following day, Kira sees the video of Tyson’s sex tape. It has leaked to the press. (P.R. maven Jordi has his work cut out for him. There is an alternate movie about him covering up the sex scandal where hilarity ensues.) Kira breaks it off with Tyson in a quiet argument. (The most lethal kind!)  

A detective questions Kira and her friend Steph about the sex tape and the murdered sex worker, Caya. He even implicates Kira as a suspect. Realizing she needs to clear her head and avoid the press, Kira heads to her hometown of Hidden Acres, where she cares for her aunt’s home. (The whole setup here is VERY Hallmark movie! Minus the murder and cheating. This is fitting because Yan-Kay Crystal Lowe is a staple of the network.)

Randy, her party boy, hometown gay, greets Kira and asks her to go to happy hour. Kirs is upset to see the house has been broken into and her childhood room ransacked. Kira takes off her wedding room and heads out for dranks!

The bar is, of course, run by her HOT high school boyfriend, Weston. (Played by the Hulk’s son (Lou Ferrigno Jr.) Weston pours up the tequila shots on the house for Kira and Randy. They also hang out with a cute nurse practitioner named Avery. Needless to say, they get pretty drunk. 

Weston and Kira walk around town and reminisce about their high school puppy love. (They also flirt a bit.) Kira apologizes for how she ended things with him. Weston forgives her because her parents had just died, and she was grieving. Weston takes her home as someone follows them while watching them with binoculars.

Kira randomly eats a bowl of applesauce until Weston comes over with groceries since she just got into town! (What a dreamboat) She invites him to come back for dinner and then enjoys a bottle of rose in the hot tub next to a wasps nest. (My girl is drowning her sorrows) 

Weston comes over for dinner and startles Kira while she is cutting vegetables. He grabs her a bandaid and seems to know his way around the house too well. Wes and Kira enjoy dinner together and toast to “Old Flames.” He tells Kira that she is still cute, and then they dorkily dance around while drinking wine and eating ice cream. That is all it takes to get her to have kitchen sex with him. (It wouldn’t take much for me either! There is a gratuitous shirtless scene here, and I wasn’t mad about it!)

Kira wakes up with a bad hangover and apologizes to Wes for giving him the wrong idea. She tells him about Tyson and her engagement. Wes agrees just to be friends. (He seems too cool with it, actually.)

The hangover is so bad that Kria has to Avery to get some migraine medication. Avery warns Kira not to get too involved with Wes because he is obsessive when he dated her. 

The opportunity for space doesn’t come because Wes invites Kira and Randy to his bar/restaurant for dinner. Kira starts to feel lightheaded from the wine, specifically the roofies Weston put into the wine. Wes offers to give them a ride home, and Kira passes out in the passenger seat, and Weston takes her to his bedroom. Randy starts to ask too many questions, finds a dead body in the trunk of a car, and gets himself killed. (Well, Weston stabs him to death, actually.) RANDY was working with Weston to lure Kira back to town; he just didn’t realize how far his obsession went. (So, Randy is a bad gay, and Jordi is a nice gay if you are keeping tabs on the gays!)

Weston walks around with his shirt off some more, and we all appreciate that. Kira asks him about what happened the night before and if he has heard from Randy. Wes becomes aggressive when Kira mentions that she is heading back to L.A. to work things out with Tyson. Not before taking a steamy shower. Wes brings her her phone and drops it in the shower, which creeps Kira out and pisses her off. She is now without her contacts. (This is why you remember your significant other’s phone number, people.)

While looking for a new phone, a man attacks Weston with a knife and slashes his arm. The attack rattles Kira, and she asks Avery to take her home. 

Avery lends Kira a cellphone and talks about her bestselling book based on the true story of the disappearance of Kira’s college boyfriend, who died while hiking a mountian. Avery shares about her turmoils relationship with Wes and admits to constantly feeling like she was living in Kria’s shadow or trying to live up to Weston’s memories of the one that got away. 

Even though she doesn’t have his number, Tyson shows up because he hasn’t heard from Kira. She asks him to leave town with her after she settles some things with Wes. (And go to a Mexican restaurant for dinner!)

At the restaurant, a waitress is obsessed with getting Tyson’s autograph, and Weston is obsessed with causing trouble. He tells Tyson that he slept with Kira the night before. Tyson punches Weston in the face but forgives his Fiancée. 

Weston is the son of the Sheriff and sends his father to handle his business. Tyson is framed for the murder of the P.I. found in the trunk. The Sheriff drags Ty to jail and handcuffs him. Wes talks through his mommy issues to Ty because he is a captive audience. 

Kira has some drinks with Avery while they figure out what to do about Tyson. They realize Randy has been missing for a few days and go to his house to find all his belongings still at home. They go home and lock all the doors. When they hear a noise, the girls go out into the stormy night and find Randy’s body in the hot tub.

Tyson uses his charming actor skillz to con a hot cop into taking a selfie with him and uncuffing him. Tyson grabs the hot cop’s gun and forces him to handcuff himself to a chair so that Tyson can save Kira. 

Kira and Avery lock the doors as Weston lurks around the house. He tries to use the spare key to get in, but Avery barricades the door with her body weight. No matter because Weston gets in through a sliding glass door. Avery beats Weston with an umbrella, but he throws her through a glass door and kills her.

Weston searches the house for Kira; she calls 911 and tries to sneak out of the house undetected. Weston admits to killing everyone because he wanted to be with her. (Including the call girl AND her college boyfriend.) He took advantage of Kira while she was vulnerable… MULTIPLE TIMES. 

Kira sprays Wes with wasp spray to get him to stop talking. (A nod to Extremities?) Weston chokes Kira but is shot by Tyson. Kira takes Wes’s knife and stabs him while telling him that he “inspires” her.    

Cut to the press questioning the hot couple. P.R. cutie Jordi is there to field questions until they all drive off into the sunset to their happy ending… and maybe a sequel all about Jordi? (Haha, J/K!) 

Side Note

I’m in this movie!!!! (Obviously) 

Minority Report: Kira, Tyson, Steph, Jordi, Detective, Reporter 

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*** I’ve updated the rating system moving forward. Knives represent # of kills. Wine is over enjoyment (NOT a value judgment) on a 1-5 scale.

 I will use the following tags for those who want to know whether to watch or skip: Pour it Up (Would Recommend) or Put A Cork In It (Would Not Recommend). 

Overall rating

Number of Kills: 

🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪 (6 Knives)

Enjoyment Level: 🍷 🍷🍷🍷🍷 (5 glasses of wine.)

What did you think of the movie? Let me know in the comments or on social media @LifetimeUncorked

*Photo Credit: © 2021 Lifetime® | A+E Networks®

Live tweet along with @LifetimeUncork using the hashtag #OldFlamesNeverDie

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