Secrets on Greek Row (2023 Lifetime)
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Cast: Lucy Loken, Grace Patterson, Jessica Morris
Director:
Writer:
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Synopsis (via Lifetime)
Sorority president Kaylee’s carefree college life explodes when her boyfriend Wally is killed in a bizarre hot tub electrocution accident at a party. But was it really an accident? Wally’s mother, Sabrina, suspects Kaylee intentionally corrupted her son with drugs and alcohol as revenge for what his father did to her mother. Sabrina isn’t the only one who thinks Kaylee drugged Wally–sorority sisters Winter and Lori are also suspicious. Kaylee fights to prove her innocence; but these claims are tested when she hosts a sorority party and fraternity president Chase nearly dies after drinking the GHB-tainted party punch. When Kaylee discovers the horrifying truth, she must fight for her life. Stars Lucy Loken, Grace Patterson, Jessica Morris, Mason Mecartea, and Logan Mackenzie Wallace (2023).
Recap/Wine Thoughts
The movie starts with a CEO FREAKING OUT in his office. He is throwing TVs and trashing his desk. His name is Roger Lancaster, and he is in a lot of trouble for sexual assault. He eventually killed himself due to the scandal.
15 years later. We cut to Theta Sorority doing a cheer or SCREAMING that reminds me of these girls. (and I’m having nightmares now! Thanks, Lifetime)
The girls are doing a Big/Little ceremony. Winter is paired with Knee Sock Girl because they love Classic Rock. Knee Sock Girl gives Winter a friendship bracelet. Knee Sock girl’s mom is Vera Quaid, who took down the CEO before the Me Too Era.
Vera Quaid is very judgmental of her daughter being in a sorority, even though Knee Sock Girl is the president. Verqa also disapproves of her daughter’s relationship with a freshman named Wally LANCASTER. (She is 21, and he is 18.) Knee Sock, Girl’s name, is…. uhh Kaylee? (I think!)Somehow it never came up that Roger Lancaster was Wally.’That makes for a terrible first meeting with Vera.
Kaylee gets the cold shoulder from Wally and starts to think someone is after her. She confides in a blonde Chai frat president named Chase. He doesn’t read the room and asks her out to go to a formal with him.
Chase throws himself a toga party, where no one knows how to tie a toga. Winter and Wally start flirting, and Kaylee gets jealous. Wally isn’t into Winter; he is in love with Haylee. Chase and Winter seem jealous, and Chase even hazes Wally. (See underage drinking.
Wally gets sloppy drunk, and Haylee is unimpressed. She tries to get him to go home with her. Chase doesn’t want the party to end, and the two frat boys play tug of war with a literal human. Eventually, Wally flails into the pool and knocks the sound system in with him. He is electrocuted to death in one of the most “Wait? WTF?” moments in recent Lifetime Movie memory.
At the funeral, Kaylee and her friend. Their sadness is interrupted by Jessica Morris storming in as the new house mother. She’s got a southern accent and is like Maria Von Trapp without the guitar, CONFIDENT. The best line here is her asking if “the Goth Look is in?”
The service is dramatic, and I LOVE IT.
-First off, Chase blames himself for Wally’s death. (Which is probably true.)
– Secondly, Winter is all sorts of mean mugging. (For what reason, WHO KNOWS!)
– Thirdly, Wally’s mother is (rightly) upset that Kaylee dared to show her face and becomes even more upset when she sees Vera, who she thinks is responsible for Robert’s death all those years ago. She slaps the shit out of Vera and says, “SUE ME!!!!” And then starts throwing money at Vera.
– It is unhinged and so great.
While pruning the rose bushes in the middle of the night, because why not, Kaylee is surprised to see Chase. He spills the tea about gossip he has been hearing. Apparently, Wally’s mom had a Life insurance policy on him, and the autopsy showed that Wally had GHB in his system. Chase is worried that someone planned Wally’s murder and that police will think he is a suspect. Winter listens to the whole conversation while pretending to take out the trash.
Someone writes a message on the window with steam, and Kaylee calls a house meeting to interrogate all her sorority sisters. Kaylee confronts her BFF Lori and Winter; they take it personally and are offended.
Kaylee has a meltdown about missing Wally, and Chase hugs her. Wally’s mom walks in on them and FREAKS THE FUCK OUT! She is ruthless.
The Theta house throws a party, and I think the theme is “rocker.” Wally’s mom breaks up the party with a police detective, and she wants answers. Jessica Morris does her housemother thing and smooths things over.
Someone keeps trying to kill Kaylee throughout this movie. First, she is almost run over by a car. Then she is almost taken out by a flower pot.
Everyone leaves the party leaving Chase and Kaylee alone. They flirt while being sad about Wally, and then Chase chugs some punch as a joke. He gets very sick and starts convulsing and is taken away in an ambulance. The next morning, a hot cop arrests Kaylee for supplying Chase with GHB found in her room. (He OD’ed)
Vera bails her daughter out and hooks her up with a lawyer, who, unfortunately, is NOT Elle Woods. Kaylee also has to go in front of the Greek Life Counsel to defend the Theta accreditation. The sisters band together to no avail; they still lose their charter/housing. Wally’s mom is there to watch with glee!
The girls pack up the house, and Chase (who is out of the hospital) even helps out. Jessica Morris is concerned that Chase is too weak to help and reluctantly accepts his help.
Instead of packing, Kaylee looks at videos on Wally’s phone and sees some pretty bad hazing. Chace forces Wally to drink the GHB-laced bourbon. She cries and knows Chase gave Wally the GHB and planted the evidence in her room.
Chase and Kaylee scream at one another, and she tells him that she is going to the police. They fight over the phone, but Kaylee runs out of the house only to be stopped by Jessica Morris. WHO IS CHASE’S SISTER!
Kaylee wakes up in a bathtub tied up to the faucet. (It is a weird choice.) Jessica Morris shares her villain monologue. Basically, she is protecting her brother. The women fight over a knife, and eventually, Kaylee frees herself and stabs Jessica Morris. She tries to run, but Chase finds her and almost strangles her to death. Winter and Lori show up to SAVE THEIR SISTER!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!! THETA ONE HEART ONE WAY 4EVA!
The sisters get their house back and graduate. Vera is the new house mom!
Side Note
Minority Report: Winter, Committee member,
I’m not always into College Lifetime Movies, but this one was so WILD!
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Overall rating
Number of Kills:
🔪🔪 (2 knives)
Enjoyment Level (1-5 scale)
🍷🍷🍷🍷 (4 Glasses of Wine)
Should you watch it?
Pour it up! (Give it a shot)
Put a Cork in It (Skip It)
What did you think of the movie? Let me know in the comments or on social media @LifetimeUncorked & @patrickmiguel
*Photo Credit: © 2023 Lifetime® | A+E Networks®
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