You Belong to Me (2008 Lifetime)

You Belong to Me (2008 Lifetime)

Stars: Shannon Elizabeth, Andrew Kenneth Martin, Christian Campbell

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Synopsis (via Lifetime)

Pre-teen Danny’s father, who broke a restraining order a year ago, is blindly blamed for stalking by the boy’s mother Alex Wilson and her fiancé, lawyer Chris, falsely as the police proves. Slick, new publishing firm colleague Michael McBride quickly seduces Alex, who backs down, however, warned by an old friend. Michael dies tragically, and the Wilson home seems haunted.

Thoughts

In a sleepy suburban town, with lots of foliage, a stalker stalks Shannon Elizabeth and her precious bucktooth child. She has a handsome boyfriend with terrible hair. They have a sex scene in the first two minutes of the movie. Extended sex scene. The stalker enjoys it a lot more than the movie viewers. In the middle of the night, the stalker gets Shannon Elizabeth. (No, it is just a large teddy bear.)

Shannon Elizabeth calls the police; her ex-husband Julian is the stalker. He broke into the house and left the oversized teddy bear. She sends her son and boyfriend to stay somewhere else for safety, and she goes on a work trip with a handsome co-worker named Michael.

The co-workers fly to New York to talk business. (Emails, Faxes, Computers! It is 2008, after all.) Shannon Elizabeth wins over a client by quoting Robert Browning. Shannon Elizabeth and Michael make a good team and celebrate with a fancy dinner. (Where they take a picture of you at the table, like an amusement park?) They talk about Michael’s mother passing and a necklace he wears.

The boyfriend is working on his car, listening to loud music when the stalker comes in, knocking the car lift, smashing the boyfriend, and killing him. Shannon Elizabeth is too busy flirting with Michael at work to notice. She finds the body later when her boyfriend, Chris, doesn’t show up to work. He survives being smashed by a car and tells Shannon Elizabeth that it was Julian.

The stalker continues to terrorize Shannon Elizabeth and gets into her house again, even after she has changed the locks and has police detail outside. He hides in her closet and watches her check her ANSWERING MACHINE. (All awkward messages from her co-worker Michael.) Then he watches her sleep.

Michael is pushy and insists on going to lunch with Shannon Elizabeth. She brushes him off to be with Chris in the hospital. Since hospital scenes are expensive, he is released and has another gratuitous sex scene for no reason. (Shot with the male gaze, BTW. I don’t even think the hunk takes off his shirt.) Michel tries to win over Shannon Elizabeth by giving her his mother’s necklace. She tells him that she can’t accept a gift so personal. Michael offers Shannon Elizabeth a ride home to apologize.

Chris hears from the detectives, and they tell him Julian is in London and couldn’t have been stalking Shannon Elizabeth. Chris frantically tries to call his girlfriend to warn her.

Michael drives Shannon Elizabeth to a remote spot in the woods and tells her that he is obsessed with her. He steals the battery from her cell phone. (Remember those days?) Then he gets violent with her and drags her out of the car and into the woods. He falls off a cliff and dies. Shannon Elizabeth is saved. Detectives confirm that Michael was stalking her and has hundreds of photos of her.

This is where your typical Lifetime movies would end. It (unfortunately) doesn’t end here.

Haunting phone calls come into Shannon Elizabeth’s work phone and recite Browning poems. She calls the police, dismissing it as pranks from people who saw the story on the news. Shannon Elizabeth will not rest until Michael’s body is found. She thinks she sees Michael on the road and almost gets into an accident.

The body is found, and Shannon Elizabeth starts to doubt her sanity. She is still convinced that Michael is alive and has nightmares about him… or are they? A GHOST throws a vase at Shannon Elizabeth, which is totally rude.

A psychic is called, and she tells Shannon Elizabeth that she is stuck with the ghost. Michael haunts her. Her son also sees Michael in the mirror and talks to him like they are best friends.

Shannon Elizabeth tracks down a sister of Michael’s and gets info and another necklace. The psychic does another reading and warns her about Michael’s powers. They talk a lot of mumbo jumbo. Who cares.

A stick kills the babysitter in the woods, and Shannon Elizabeth’s child is lost alone in the woods with ghost Michael. Shannon Elizabeth speeds to the cliff and freaks out the whole time. Michael takes over driving her car with his ghost powers and almost kills Chris and Shannon Elizabeth. They jump out of the vehicle and roll to safety?!?!?!?!?!

Ghost Michael and Shannon Elizabeth have their final showdown, and she chants something while holding a burning piece of paper. She finds the necklace and stops Michael from killing her and her family. It is sooooo stupid.

Side Note

Minority Report: Denise Fisher, Beth

Don’t forget to listen to the Lifetime Uncorked Podcast available on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts!

I’ve always thought Neve Campbell’s brother was hot.

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Overall rating

🔪 (1 Knife)

🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷 (5 glasses of wine required.)