Open Marriage (2017 Lifetime)

Open Marriage (2017 Lifetime)

Stars: Tilky Jones, Nikki Leigh, Kelly Dowdle

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Synopsis (via Lifetime)

To save their struggling marriage, Becca and Ron reluctantly agree to an open relationship with their friends Mindy and Max. Though their passion is rekindled, they don’t expect the jealousy, heartbreak, and betrayal they soon follow.

Thoughts

A bloody woman lays on white fur as an ornate clock falls to the ground, covered in blood.

Three months earlier, a man is attempting to seduce his wife, but she is too tired. He is insanely hot and has a tattoo sleeve. His name is Ron, and he has been unemployed because of back pain. His wife, Becca, is supporting the household with her nursing job. Their marriage is struggling due to infertility issues.

Max and Mindy are the opposite ends of the spectrum. They live in a mansion and are doing very well for themselves. They throw a pool party and invite Becca and Ron over. While they are all in bathing suits, they talk about their sex lives, Max and Mindy have opened their marriage and try to convince the other couple to do the same. Mac and Mindy have the following rules.

1) No extracurricular activities without the other person.

2) Practice safe sex.

THAT’S IT!

Becca and Ron are intrigued and decide to try out an open marriage. (It is the title of the movie after all.) Just the thought of it makes sends them into a sexual frenzy. The acting and sex scene in this movie are borderline softcore porn—so many shirtless men. I’m not mad about it!

At work, Becca tells her cutie gay co-worker who is 100% into her opening up the marriage. He is in an open marriage with his husband. I’m happy to see some gay representation.

At another pool party, the men are grilling while shirtless and drinking beers. I’m hoping they have an open relationship with each other. I mean, why not. As they talk, the women ogle the men from their pool chairs. Everyone decides that open marriages are going to happen and set up a sex date.

At the sex date, Mindy is dressed ridiculously and starts rubbing Ron’s crotch. Then they make out in front of Becca and Max. Everyone starts having sex in a montage that will not be getting a play by play here. Just think back-scratching, hair flipping, and kissing, set to a sexy song.

The next day, Becca soaks in a bathtub to wash away the dirty feelings. Just kidding, she was super into, and so was Ron, who is still shirtless. I’m not sure he has worn a shirt yet. Ron and Becca have sex in the bathtub.

The sex dates become more extreme. The coupes meet in a back alley and go to an S&M club where the safeword is “suspenders.” A dominatrix named Vulnavia shows them around. I love her. Sexy montage happens here too; it is like the first one except pink and purple lighting. Ron is starting to get jealous of his wife spending alone time with Max.

Becca agrees to work a double, so her gay co-worker can go he Lady Gaga, haha. Becca calls Ron, who is shirtlessly eating pizza and “watching the game.” He says he is fine working that, which means he can go to the sex club by himself. He promises himself that he will just watch other people have sex and not participate. That doesn’t last long, and he hooks up with a lady in red by the bar. Just before his shirt comes off again, he leaves and goes home to… lay in bed shirtless.

Later, while jogging (Shirtless), Ron admits to Becca that he went to the fertility clinic, not the sex club. His sperm is not very potent, and he is the reason they can’t get pregnant. Becca argues with him, but he is too busy flexing his abs to care. He does care when he finds a positive pregnancy test in the trash. Ron wants to talk to Becca, but she shuts him down.

Rons jealous is bubbling over, especially when someone sends Becca flowers. (It was the gay guy, but Ron thinks his wife is lying.) Ron has a sweaty, shirtless, homoerotic, workout session with Max. Ron comes clean to Max about going to the club alone and thinks the open marriage thing was a mistake.

When Becca says she is working late, Ron decides to check up and call the hospital. The gay friend answers and says Becca left three hours ago, and he didn’t send her flowers. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!?!

Becca goes to the sex club and meets up with Max. She ends things with Max because she is pregnant; she uses Max to get pregnant maybe and will pretend that it is Ron’s. She asks him not to stop sending flowers, Ron says they weren’t from him. So sent the flowers? To prove to Ron that the baby is his, Becca and her gay co-worker will do a prenatal paternity test.

At another cocktail party, Becca and Mindy are wearing the same dress. Ron starts to think Mindy is too into the sex with Ron. Ron has moved on; he loves Becca and is starting his own construction business.

Another gift arrives in the mail. It is a baby bassinet filled with a creepy baby doll. Becca and Ron know that someone is spying on them. Next, there are photos of Ron at the club with the woman leak and Max and Becca at the club leak. Ron gets fried from his job, and Max and Mindy cut off their relationship with Becca and Ron.

More working out shirtless happens. Intercut with Becca getting the results of the paternity test. She doesn’t open them; she just gets the envelope.

Becca comes home to find Ron in his underwear tied to the bed. Mindy is there too in white lingerie. It sounds sexy, but Mindy also has a gun. She forces Becca to put on identical lingerie and Max to strip down. She was watching them in the club with a mask on and is getting revenge. Mindy is obsessed with Becca and sings, “I’m your secret admirer.” Mindy wants to become Becca. (They look very similar now.) Becca lies to Mindy and says that she loves her too, she convinces Mindy to have one more four-way. While Mindy kisses Ron, Becca grabs the clock and smashes Mindy in the head, killing her. (She is the dead woman on the fur.)

The police come and are very confused. Becca cries in her husband’s arms. He has a tank top on for the first time. Then she opens the paternity test. Ron is the father. His 1% sperm count swam to where it counts. Good for him.

Side Note

Minority Report: Dominatrix Vulnavia (Played by Debra Wilson, who should be in more Lifetime movies. Can we get her a Christmas movie please.)

Also Known as The Neighborhood Watch

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Overall rating

🔪🔪🔪🔪 (4 Knives)

🍷🍷🍷 (3 glasses of wine required.)