Deadly Mom Retreat (2021 Lifetime)

Deadly Mom Retreat (2021 Lifetime)

Cast: Lara Amersey, Tanya Clarke, Rebecca Lamarche, Chris Violette, Jon Welch

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Synopsis (via Lifetime)

Jules has been struggling to move on from her divorce but jumps at the chance for some R&R with her new friend, Marissa, when invited on a singles’ retreat. Plus, Jules is attracted to single dad Zack, who is also attending the retreat. But almost immediately upon arriving, Jules has a series of near fatal “accidents” that all seem to involve fellow retreat attendee Georgia. Jules must fight back if she ever hopes to start fresh. (2021)

Thoughts

Jules gets for a night out on the town with her girlfriends Karen & Marissa until she gets a threatening email that reads, “I am ALWAYS watching you.” Jules grabs her bedside bat and cautiously looks around the house. It is just her soon-to-be ex-husband, Tom, stopping by to take their daughter to a movie. (He neglects to tell Jules about his meaningless girlfriend, Claire.) Jules tells him to sign the divorce papers. 

On her night out at a bar that doesn’t serve champagne, Jules crushes on a teacher named Zack. Her friend Karen is annoying AF but thinks she is hilarious. (The writing, not the actress.) The messages keep coming, and Jules tells Zack about them. He suggests it is just kids playing a prank. 

Since this movie is called “Deadly Moms Retreat.” Jules, Marissa, and Karen drive up to a snowy lodge called… The Lodge. It is very Hallmark, but since this is Lifetime, bitchy Georiga is also there. She hates Jules because Georgia also wants to date Zack. (Or maybe something else???)

Jules moves into her cabin (Which she isn’t sharing with her girlfriends?) She takes a shower, and a clumsy intruder breaks in and knocks things over. Jules is more annoyed than frightened. 

At a cabin mixer, Georgia is all over Zack. Jules is put off by her desperate attempts to stake her claim and mistakenly mentions that she is “severely allergic to peanuts.” Karen and Marissa take Jules to use up her drink tickets and get properly drunk. Jules gets so drunk that she stumbles around the fire and into Georgia’s arms. Then she wanders into the snow and passes out. Marissa and Zack find her “almost frozen to death” and bring her to her cabin. Zack warms her up with some almost kissing. (Wait, IS this a Hallmark Movie?

The following day, Jules is embarrassed and opens up to Marissa about regretting her divorce and wanting to get out of the dating life and just be a wife and mother. Marissa calls Jules pathetic. Jules decides to leave the retreat, but she gets a flat tire, and it DERAILS HER. (She can’t change a flat and ditches her girlfriends to hang out with Zack?) she cries to Zack and asks him if he can see a relationship with her. which is needy. Jules is kind of pathetic. Marissa has a point! 

Zack and Jules are full-on dating now, and someone follows them while they are on a winter hike that includes some kissing. Tom interrupts the date by calling and trying to win Jules back. Jules hangs up on him, slips on some ice, and finds Georgia’s charm bracelet in the woods.

Another mixer happens; Karen shows up guzzling wine and is horny as hell. I have respect for her now. I get Karen. Jules hears yelling by the bonfire and rushes out to find Georgia and Zack in a messy breakup.

Jules comes back to her cabin and enjoys a cupcake Marissa gave her as an apology. Too bad the cupcake is laced with peanuts, and someone stole her EpiPen. Karen (of all people) comes to the rescue and drunkenly saved Jules. Marissa consoles a distressed Jules who wants to call Tom to pick her up. Marissa makes a deal; she will give Jules a ride home in the morning IF she survives the night. (Not really, but pretty much!!!)

Marissa talks Jules into thinking Georgia is responsible for the messages, poisonings, and tire slashing. They sneak into Georgia’s cabin and find the stolen EpiPen and a necklace in Georgia’s purse. The women almost get caught but somehow get out of there. (Sorry, I was getting Tinder messages! I’m dating, just like Karen!) 

While plotting against Georgia, Jules gets a call from her daughter, who tells her that Tom and Clare broke up. Marissa orchestrates a hike to sneak up on Zack and Georgia in the woods. They confront her in the woods and bully her. As Marissa and Georgia scream at one another. Jules snaps a picture and sends it to her daughter. Rosalie is confused why her mom is with CLAIRE. Then Marissa/Claire knocks Jules out with a rock. 

Jules wakes up tied to a tree, and Marissa/Claire goes right into her motives. She was in love with Tom, and he left her when she couldn’t have kids. Marissa/Claire send the messages, joined the signals group, roofied Jules, and attempted murder. As Marissa/Claire talks on, Jules frees herself and runs through the woods. She gets lost but runs until she finds the lodge, which is completely empty. Eventually, Jules pushes Marissa/Claire over a balcony and kills her. She takes comfort in Zack’s arms. Karen briefly checks on Jules and then heads to the bar.

Months later, Jules and Zack are still dating. Tom joins the singles club and might be hooking up with KAREN?!?! Into that. Where is that movie?

Side Note

Minority Report: Jules, Rosalie, Receptionist, Officer, 

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*** I’ve updated the rating system moving forward start 7/26/2021. Knives represent # of kills. Wine is over enjoyment (NOT a value judgment) on a 1-5 scale.

 I will use the following tags for those who want to know watch or skip: Pour it Up (Would Recommend) or Put A Cork In It (Would Not Recommend)

Overall rating

Number of Kills: 🔪 (1 Knife)

Enjoyment Level: 🍷🍷 (2 glasses of wine)

*Photo Credit: © 2021 Lifetime® | A+E Networks®

Live tweet along with @LifetimeUncork using the hashtag #DeadlyMomRetreat

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Lifetime Uncorked and Deck the Hallmark collide on this monthly podcast covering your favorite TV movies! Brandon (Bran) Gray & Daniel (Dan) Thompson join Lifetime Expert, Patrick Serrano, for the breakdown of Lifetime's Deadly Garage Sale (Starring: Aryè Campos, Juliana Destefano, Autumn Noel, Matthew Pohlkamp) They also discuss; Lamps, Lifetime Hot Cops, and of course Garage Sales! Will they pour it up or put a cork in it? Next Month's movie will be… Old Flames Never Die starring (for five lines) PATRICK SERRANO! The Movie airs 2/11 at 8/7c on Lifetime Movie Network. Read Patrick's Recaps/Reviews: https://lifetimeuncorked.com/ Check out other Bramble Jam Podcasts: https://bramblejampodcast.com/ Donate to the Podcast: https://ko-fi.com/patrickserrano Subscribe to our Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYuQwUKBmS2MouRnVhRLyig Business Inquiries | podcast@lifetimeuncorked.com Follow the Podcast @LifetimeUncorked & @hallmarkpodcast Follow the Host @PatrickMiguel  Support Lifetime Uncorked with a monthly donation:  https://ko-fi.com/patrickserrano — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/lifetime-uncorked/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/lifetime-uncorked/support
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3 Comments

  1. How was marissa/Claire so much older but she was a high school or college sweetheart of tom? Also you’re my favorite I’m buying you a glass of wine.

  2. I love the short little song at the end but I can’t seem to find it on google. Was it created for the movie? “Everyone wants the fun, but baby I’m bad news. Baby I’m bad news.”

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