All I Want for Christmas (2013 Lifetime)
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Cast: Melissa Sagemiller, Brad Rowe, Tom Arnold, Jason-Shane Scott
Director: Fred Olen Ray
Writer: Michael Ciminera, Richard Gnolfo, Jeffrey Schenck, Peter Sullivan
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DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearlySynopsis (via Lifetime)
An attractive young woman unexpectedly meets santa’s helper, st nick, who grants her an extraordinary Christmas wish.
Recap/Wine Thoughts
We start off on the streets of San Francisco. Workaholic Executive Elizabeth screams at a Santa to stop ringing his bell and makes fun of the money he raised for charity. She donates $5 to get him to shut up. If you were unsure if TKT wasn’t the worst, she cut a long line at a coffee shop. A handsome stranger tries to tell her off, but Elizabeth gets her way.
In contrast, a nice man named Robert gives Santa $20 bucks. He is starting a new job at the same firm that Elizabeth works for. He doesn’t see Elizabeth when they are walking into the office and slams the door in her face causing the coffee she is holding to spill all over her. The twinks she works with look at her like she is crazy.
Tom Arnold plays the big boss and tells Elizabeth that he hired a new miracle worker to save the company, Robert. Robert has won everyone over with a cappuccino maker. He is likable, unlike Elizabeth.
Elizabeth has to watch her nephew for the afternoon but is more interested in texting. She takes Max to an arcade to meet the mall Santa, but they are too late. An elf named Calvin is there and offers to help. Max wants a “Danger Dog Action Figure.” Calvin the Elf asks Elizabeth what she wants for Christmas, and she tells him she wants to prove to people how wrong they are about her and wants to know what people are REALLY thinking about her. Calvin the Elf gives her an ugly wreath pin and tells her he doesn’t like her either. Then he MAGICALLY DISAPPEARS!
Elizabeth wears the pin and shows her sister, who says it is pretty but, in her head, thinks it is hideous. Her sister sets her up with a ventriloquist named Paul. (Like, WHY?!) Her sister wants Elizabeth to join a dating website.
Elizabeth does work by writing in a Word Doc, “companies to target.” Then she signs up for the dating website. MatchMeDotCom.
On her way to work, Elizabeth hears Santa call her “grumpy pants” in her head. The handsome stranger also sees Elizabeth and thinks she is rude for cutting the line. Everyone she passes by thinks rude thought about her. Elizabeth is weirded out.
Her twink co-workers see her, and all think inappropriate thoughts. Like,
“Is she into younger guys?”
“Is she hungover?”
And even a gay joke! Oh boy!
Elizabeth tells everyone she isn’t feeling well and has a migraine to figure out what is happening. She finally takes off her suit jacket with the pin and realizes it is her Christmas wish, and confronts Calvin the Elf. (Who is hitting on a Blonde lady.) She decides to use the pin to her advantage.
The pin even works on TV? There is a random scene with an interview with an “action star” named Larry? I have no idea.
At work, Elizabeth uses her pin to read Tom Arnold’s mind. She reassures him that she is going to turn the business around. She uses mind reading to pitch MatchMeDotCom as a new client and learns Robert is even a member. (She leaves the meeting, and we see her thong.)
Next, we get a montage of Elizabeth taking meetings and nailing them. While writing on a whiteboard the list of her New Clients.
Elizabeth has dinner with Robert, who is allergic to fish and has a reaction. He cures it with a face mask and cucumbers on his eyes in the bathroom???
Elizabeth double-books herself and attends a fundraiser called Sarah’s Dance hosted by the owner of MatchMeDotCom and her nephew’s Christmas play. She wants to get in and out after winning over her final client. Robert crashes the meeting and wants to work as a team. The owner of MatchMeDotCom is the handsome man from the coffee shop. He thinks she is the worst and doesn’t want to work with Elizabeth.
Elizabeth misses her nephew’s recital and feels kind of bad but is more focused on work. Elf Calvin visits her in a mini form to try and get the pin back, but Elizabeth wants to hold onto it. Then she has terrible nightmares.
Another Tom Arnold meeting happens, and he talks about how special the family business is to him. Elizabeth promises to turn things around this time with Robert’s help. (and randomly Jenny from the coffee shop.)
They offer to host another charity event to raise funds for the Handsome Man’s cause, Sarah’s Dance.
While working on the final pitch and eating Chinese food, Elizabeth tells Robert about the pin and the mind reading. He is unimpressed because she knew he liked her and didn’t do anything about it.
Elizabeth drowns her sorrows at a bar and calls her sister to apologize for missing Max’s Christmas play. The sister is not forgiving. Then Elizabeth tries to call Robert, but he rejects her call. Then we get a sad montage of all the people Elizabeth has let down.
Calvin the Elf shows up on the bar counter, and Elizabeth screams at him, scaring the bartender. She gives up the pin an decides to do things on her own merits.
Christmas Eve, Elizabeth makes a pitch at the charity event. She apologizes for being the worst and tells Robert that he threatened her. She talks about the company being a family business. The handsome man is impressed and says it is THE BEST PITCH EVER. Then he dances with his daughter.
Elizabeth and Robert take the floor and dance too. Then they kiss.
The new couple visit Elizabeth’s sister, and the nephew gets his Danger Dog Action Set! Then Elizabeth and Robert kiss under the mistletoe while the nephew covers his eyes.
Merry Christmas?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!??!
Side Note
Minority Report: Ali
This movie felt like a parody of a Christmas movie or like it was written by AI.
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Christmas Trees represent Christmas vibes.
*** I’ve updated the rating system. Wine is overall enjoyment (NOT a value judgment) on a 1-5 scale.
Overall rating
Christmas Feels🎄🎄 (2 Christmas Trees)
Enjoyment Level: 🍷🍷 (2 glasses of wine.)
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*Photo Credit: © 2012 Lifetime
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