Expecting Amish (2014 Lifetime)

Me on my way to da club with my girls

Expecting Amish (2014 Lifetime)

Cast: AJ MichalkaJesse McCartneyAlyson StonerBrian Krause

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Synopsis (via Lifetime)

Expecting Amish on Lifetime tells the story of 18-year-old Hannah Yoder, who is ready to join the Amish Church and marry her boyfriend, Samuel. But things change when she goes to Hollywood and gets a glimpse of the world beyond.


Hannah and Samual watch a young Amish couple get baptized and announce their marriage. Samual jokes about getting married to Hanah, but she has other things to do, like bring produce to a market and run in the rain.

Brian Krause play’s Hannah’s father, and he looks insane with a fake beard. The man is such a baby-faced cutie. The family lost the matriarch, and Hannah has filled in for that role. He reluctantly lets his daughter go to LA for Rumspringa. She leaves Samual behind to go on an adventure.

Hannah, Sarah, Mary, and Issac leave the horse and buggy behind and take a can to their new house. They go shopping for clothing and makeup. Everyone but Hannah goes out for some LA nightlife. Hannah talks on the phone to Samual. They are cute. Oh, and it is the first time they talk on the phone. 

The next night, she goes out and meet-cutes with a very charming Jesse McCartney. He plays a DJ named Josh, who is very confused that Hannah has never used a computer or been to a party. She tells him that she is Amish, and then he shows her how to DJ. Hannah thinks he is an amazing music wizard. After the party dies down, Hannah and Josh listen to classical music and talk. Hannah is quick to let him know about Samual. Josh can’t understand her way of life and tells her that she is a servant to other people’s expectations. 

The next day, Josh takes Hannah out for coffee as friends. Hannah tells him that she is having fun, and they continue to hang out. The look at google maps, go to the beach, and he even gifts her a cellphone. Josh even cooks dinner for Hannah and her roommates. (Move over, Samual, I’m in love with Josh now!) The two grow closer and talk about Hannah’s mother and life back in PA. Josh invites her to Paris at a romantic dinner, and they almost kiss, but Hannah stops herself. 

Samual and Hannah’s father call and are surprised/disappointed to learn that she isn’t home. (Because she is out with Josh.) Hannah cries by the pool and texts Josh that she can’t see him anymore. (But thanks for the cellphone, sucker.) Josh comes by and bangs on the door, but she ignores him. They serendipitously run into one another at the beach and then make out. Hannah tells him that she doesn’t want to go back, and he tells her that she doesn’t have to. He offers for her to move in with him because he “kinda-sorta-likes” her. That is enough to get Hannah into bed. They have sex. 

The next morning Hannah decides that she has to go back to say goodbye and break things off with Samual. Issac decides that he will not be returning and moves in with a college student named Lisa. 

Back in Amish country, Hannah returns to her household chores. Late at night, she texts Josh. Samual takes Hannah to a house he is building for her. Hannah realizes that she is in over her head and calls Josh to talk it through. He has doubts that she truly is going to leave her family for the outside world. A month passes by, and Josh tells her that he can’t wait forever.

When Mary is a shady bitch and tells Samual (indirectly) about Josh. She also plants the seed that she is happy to be her replacement. Samual screams at Hannah, and she confesses to everything. Including being pregnant. Samual devises a plan to raise the baby as his own so that her family won’t shun Hannah. Then she calls Josh and ends things. She prays to God and throws the cellphone in a river.

Josh drives from LA to PA the day before Hannah’s wedding day and tries to convince her to come with him in front of her family/friends. Samual tries to persuade her to stay with him. She screams at them both to let me make her own decision. Finally, Josh cries and tells Hannah that he loves her. If this woman doesn’t jump in his car, lord help me!

Hannah doesn’t and returns to doing dishes. Her father demands that she be baptized into the church and be married. Hannah leaves and is banished when Samual tells everyone she is pregnant with Josh’s baby. Hannah still walks away.

In LA, Josh and Hannah are reunited. Eight months later, they have a baby, and she writes to her father. She lets him know that she is happy, and they are doing okay. They named the baby after her mother, Ruth.

Side Note

Minority Report: Cab Driver, Lisa, 

I’m surprised at how much I like this movie and Jesse McCartney‘s performance. He should do more acting. 

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Overall rating

🔪🔪🔪🔪 (4 Knives)

🍷🍷🍷 (3 glasses of wine required.)

*Photo Credit: © 2014 Lifetime

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