Deadly Lessons (2017 Lifetime)

Deadly Lessons (2017 Lifetime)

Stars: Christie BursonRyan Scott GreeneChristina Cox

Listen to the Lifetime Uncorked Podcast here! 

Synopsis (via Lifetime)

After their affair is discovered, a college student drops out of school to marry her professor only to learn that he has a dark, sordid past.

Thoughts

A woman is running through the woods and near dangerous cliffs. Never the way you want to end up in a Lifetime movie. 

Flashback to the same woman on her college campus rushing around with an arm full of papers. Her name is Lisa, and she is late for her outdoor class. Her professor with Justin Beiber’s hair circa 2010, is continually negging Lisa and asks her to come to his office after class. In his office, he makes out with her and tells him that he misses her. (Which is inappropriate!) Lisa’s friend Patrick agrees and thinks it is weird the professor keeps singling Lisa out. Patrick goes to the professor’s house and takes photos. 

Patrick and Tiffany report the photos to the dean, who cancels the professor’s class. The dean confronts Lisa and the professor and asks for the professor’s resignation. Lisa quits college in solidarity and runs off with the professor. (The professor is not hot enough to uproot your life for.) 

They go to the city hall and get married and move into a remote cabin in the woods. They have sexy time and then talk about the professor’s new job and Lisa’s plans for decorating the cottage. They are playing house. 

A neighbor stops by named Beverly. Her husband also works at the university. She invites Lisa and the professor to a faculty BBQ that she is hosting. For some reason, Patrick is still stalking Lisa and hiding behind trees, listening to everything. He hides behind trees for the rest of the movie, pretty much.

At the BBQ, Lisa learns that the professor has an ex-named Wendy. When she brings it up to the professor, he demands to know who told her and won’t give Lisa any details. Then, he aggressively drags Lisa to the house to keep her from talking to anyone else. Later he admits that Wendy was his fiance and his student, but she died in a car crash. Lisa makes him promise no more secrets and forgives him in a very long, drawn-out scene. 

The secrets keep coming, though! Lisa finds a mysterious trunk in the closet, a bottle of pills, and then Tiffany calls warning Lisa that the professor has been married before. Lisa is suspicious and resorting to drinking wine in a dress and heels? When the professor learns that Tiffany called, he screams at Lisa and breaks her phone in half with his bare hands. Patrick continues to hide behind plants and watch them. 

 Tiffany goes missing, and a detective shows up to question Lisa and the Professor. The professor implicates Patrick, who is STILL watching from the bushes. The detective re-questions Lisa alone about her relationship with the professor and informs him that he has dated many coeds who look just like her. (Patrick peeks in through the window. THIS MAN!)

Lisa finally wakes up and goes to Portland with Beverley. She looks into the death of Wendy and detectives there tell her it is a pretty cut and dry case. The body was never found, which doesn’t seem so cut and dry. Wendy faked her death and surprises Lisa in a cafe. Then Wendy warns Lisa that the professor is drugging, and she is in danger. She also tells Lisa about Rachel, the professor’s first wife. 

Meanwhile, Patrick comes out from behind his plants and gets nabbed by the professor. I guess he got Tiffany too, but I must have missed it? 

Reports of Tiffany’s body being found come up on the news, and Lisa is shocked. Emotional and angry, Lisa accuses the professor of killing Tiffany and Rachel. The professor tells her to behave, or he will put her in the lake with Rachel. Lisa grabs a frying pan and knocks out the professor cold. Then she breaks into the locked trunk and finds a lockbox which she steals and runs over to Beverley’s house. Beverly helps Lisa open it, and they see pictures of all the professor’s wives inside. (Very lame.)

The professor wakes up and attacks Beverly as Lisa runs away. Lisa is running through the woods and ends up near the cliffs. It is the same cliff that we saw at the beginning of the movie. They end up not on the cliff but a bridge? Lisa pulls out some tie bow moves, and ninja kicks him off the bridge. The professor plummets to his death as Lisa cries. The camera pans out to the mountains dramatically. 

The detective fills Lisa on the random plot holes and tries to tie up loose ends. It is unsatisfying and sloppy writing. (I mean, who am I to judge, I’m a blogger. Haha!) Lisa cries with her mother and tells her that the professor did it all for LOVE? WTF.  

Side Note

Minority Report: Dean, Beverly.

BORING! This movie sucked,

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Overall rating

🔪 (1 Knife)

🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷 (5 glasses of wine required.)

*Photo Credit: © 2017 Lifetime

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