The Midwife’s Deception (2018 Lifetime)

The Midwife’s Deception 

Stars: Katie Savoy, Penelope Mitchell, Billy Armstrong

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Synopsis (via Lifetime)

Jina, a midwife, is a dream come true for seven-month-pregnant Sara until secrets unfold and Jina may want more than only delivering the baby.

Thoughts

We open on a crib and a teddy bear. Gunshots are fired and then the crib is covered in BLOOD! Welcome to a Lifetime Movie.

Next we see a young couple, Sara and Danny, setting up a nursery for the baby that is on the way. During a doctor’s visit, Sara meets Jina (Gina with a J) in the parking lot (or as Canadian’s say, “the carport”). Jina is a midwife and Sara is lonely, so they agree to go to lunch.

At lunch we learn that they are in Kentucky, where no one has southern accents, and that Sara just moved from LA with her husband. Apparently Danny’s mom died and they moved to settle up the estate. However, Danny got a job and now they are living in his hometown. Sara was a lawyer (or studying to take the Bar), doesn’t do social media, and has a bad relationship with her mom. They become fast friends and Sara asks Jina to be her midwife. (Jina immediately starts stalking Sara—parking her car out front of her house.)

Sara invites Jina to stay for dinner and they have rousing discussions about miscarriages and the fact that Jina is divorced and had a stillbirth. Sara, in an attempt to make Jina feel better, shares that her Mom wracked up credit card debt in her name. It doesn’t work, so then Danny invites her to stay at their place for a while instead of the cheap motel she is in, Jina agrees.

Later at a mommy meetup, Sara meets the worst moms in Kentucky. They LOVE sweet tea, don’t know what a quinoa and kale salad is, and are insanely pushy about Sara’s reasons for not wanting to be on social media. It all is too much and Sara goes to the restroom to cry, but not before the waitress at the cafe (Allie) gives Sara her number and tells her she will be her friend. (Just no emoji texting, that creeps her out. 🙄🙄🙄)

Jina moves in and brings a housewarming gift. A candle with a built in camera! Weeeee! Just in case you forgot, Sara doesn’t do social media. However, Jina talks her into taking some selfies (which weren’t selfies) of Sara making silly faces and pretending to drink wine. (Don’t worry, she promises not to post them.)

In the nursery, Sara shows Danny a teddy bear (the one from the beginning of the movie!) and puts it in the crib. It is Danny’s childhood bear, Hanz.

During mommy yoga, Sara starts to feel off, she has to go upstairs to rest. Jina thinks she has Sara vulnerable and all to herself, but turns out Sara and Danny left the landline. Sara calls Danny to come home and help take care of her. Jina is pissed and goes to turn up the thermostat.    

The next day, Jina throws a surprise baby shower at the cafe with the TERRIBLE Kentucky moms. The moms throw some major shade at Allie, who apparently used to date Danny. Seizing her opportunity, Jina sets up Allie by having her write her number on a napkin and then later drawing hearts around it.

At the house, Jina makes Allie a margarita and then forces another photo shoot of Sara. She then goes upstairs and hides the napkin in Danny dirty laundry. Sara and Allie are becoming fast friends despite Jina’s meddling. On her way out, Jina confronts Allie and wants to know what Allie’s problem is. Jina tells Allie that she wants Sara’s baby and that she drugged her drink. Then Jina suffocates ALLIE IN HER CAR WITH THE GIFT THAT SHE GAVE SARA??!?!?!   (She then buries her in the woods.)

Sara runs into her doctor at the cafe who says that he doesn’t know who Jina is. When she asks Jina about it, Jina says he sexist and wouldn’t remember her name only her blonde hair and boobs.

Later at home, Sara and Danny get into a fight about the number on the napkin. He is going out of town for work and she is always hot and lost his shirt. To cool off, Danny goes downstairs where Jina sexy teaches him how to lamaze breathe. Then Danny and Sara make up and decide to skip the home birth and go to the hospital for the birth.

The next morning, Sara tells Jina that they will be having the baby at the hospital. Jina is not going to let this baby go and crushes some pills into Sara’s oatmeal, sending her into contractions. Jina takes Sara upstairs and pretends to call the doctor and tells Sara that she is going to have to be on bedrest. Next we get a completely unnecessary but highly entertaining bedrest montage. (Which includes, crying with tissues, playing a game on her phone, and attempting to clip her toenails.)

Sara calls the Mommy Meetup group to apologize for missing and the mom on the phone is very upset with her for posting drunk pics on social media. Sara is confused  and looks on her laptop, finding a fake profile set up of her. She realizes what is up and then searches Jina on social media and finds nothing. Calls the company that made the gift Jina bought her at the shower and discovers her name is Laurie Ann. Sara texts Allie to see if she has the name on the card used to reserve the cafe and Allie text back with EMOJIS! (Never have emojis been more omonius than in this moment.)

Sara finds Laurie Ann’s facebook page and discovers she has been pretending to be pregnant on social media for weeks! Then her internet, landline, and cell phone cut out. Week from bed rest, Sara attempts to escape the house and passes out on the stairs.

Sara wakes up and Jina tells her that she is going to kill her and Danny because they are weak and she is going to take their baby. Danny comes home, excited for the baby, but his excitement is short-lived when Jina hits him in the back of a head with a baseball bat and knocks him out. Jina tells Sara that she is going to burn down the house with them in it and everyone will believe that Sara was a drunk and irresponsible.

To get away, Sara fakes a contraction and runs outside into the woods. Jina goes after her and tries to reason with her, to no avail. Jina heads back to the house and starts a house fire with Danny in the house to get Sara back. It works and Sara shoots Jina with a gun that Danny had in the house. (Locked in a safe, he isn’t an irresponsible parent.)

They get out of the house followed by Jina, who stops and turns back into the flames. Sara and Danny kiss as sirens sound in the distance. “Let’s go meet our baby,” Sara says as the screen fades to black.

Side Note

Huge missed opportunity not showing the bloody crib again at the end.

Emojis aren’t scary they are great!

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Overall rating

🔪🔪🔪 (3 Knives)

🍷🍷🍷🍷 (4 glasses of wine required)

*Photo Credit: © 2018 Lifetime