Brutal Bridemaids (2021 Lifetime)
Synopsis (via Lifetime)
Jessica is about to get married and enjoy the best day of her life, but one of her five bridesmaids is trying to sabotage her wedding day.
The movie begins on the beach, which normally wouldn’t be scary. A bride is tied to a chair in her wedding dress. The bride’s name is Jessica, and she screams as someone dumps water on her head.
Flash to one month earlier, Jessica and her boyfriend Michael go for a walk, and he proposes on a bridge. She is so excited she knocks the ring in the river and almost jumps off the bridge to tries to get it. He stops her, and they laugh.
Jessica and Michael throw together a wedding with just three months to spare because he got a new job and plans to move across the country. Jessica books a venue and hires a wedding planner. She asks her BFF, Mel, to be the maid of honor. Then they drink some wine and talk about the other bridesmaids.
There is a co-worker named Kristen (who introduced Michael and Jessica), a college friend/mommy named Holly, Binky, a childhood friend, and Jessica’s cousin Sloan. (Who is recently divorced.)
The girls meet at a bar. Binky is a superficial/self-centered reality star, and for some reason, no one cares. When cousin Sloan shows up, she is a Debbie downer and can only talk men cheating and Bridesmaids being the worst.
The not-friends all go for a wedding dress fitting. This movie is like a getting ready for a wedding montage extended into a full-length movie. Then an actual wedding/bridesmaid dress montage happens and lasts about 10 minutes. Jessica thankfully ends the parade of horrible dresses. Sloan argues with Binky and storms off. Then all the women break out in hives due to a chemical in the garment bags.
Holly throws a party in the suburbs for Jessica. The theme is “Taco Tuesday,” and there is some cultural appropriation happening there. They open gifts, which is something I wouldn’t want to watch in real life, let alone a TV movie. Sloan accuses Mel of sleeping with Jessica’s husband. Everyone starts yelling at one another, and Jessica is upset her party is ruined. As Jessica leaves, Holly begs Jessica to reconsider rushing into this wedding. The bridesmaids are just different people.
Kristen comes down with a stomach bug and blames Holly’s food. She thinks she was poisoned intentionally.
Michael leaves his office late and calls Jessica from an abandoned parking lot. He notices that he has a flat tire and bends down to change it, only to be hit in the head with a crowbar. He ends up in the hospital after a commercial break.
Jessica and Mel start to think that everything is connected. All these “strange.” things have been happening ever since Jessica and Michael announced their engagement. It must be someone close to Jessica who is messing with her.
She puts all her concerns out of her mind when the bridesmaids throw Jessica a bachelorette party. (With a low-rent male stripper.) Binky is almost murdered in the middle of the night. The police are called and to investigate. Jessica remembers that someone is after her, and Sloan is the most obvious suspect for everyone. Jess doesn’t defend her cousin, which is messed up.
A long wedding rehearsal sequence happens set to music with no dialogue. Then another commercial. This movie is dragging. Wow. I couldn’t care less how this ends.
Sloan is not in attendance at the rehearsal because she is “sick,” but she is fine enough to lurk in the bushes at the resort.
Jessica is getting ready for bed and looking at her wedding dress when she is attacked. It is Kristen. Kristen wanted to have Michael all to herself and planned to kill Jessica before the wedding. Sloan foils her plan and stops Kristen.
Flash to the girls hanging out. Binky eloped in Vegas with the male stripper. (Not really, but that would be epic.) They are planning another wedding for Binky. Can wait for the sequel.
Minority Report: Jessica, Michael, Sloan, Detective, Melanie, Courtney,
Marvista Enterainment flick. I would have loved it if a female was involved in the writing or directing of this movie. It would have made the dialogue and female interactions seem more natural and less superficial.
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