Your Husband is Mine or The Ex Next Door (2019 Lifetime)

Your Husband is Mine (2019 Lifetime)

Cast: Alicia Ziegler, Maiara Walsh, Philip Boyd

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Synopsis (via Lifetime)

Katie Gatewood’s love for her husband Dan is put to the test when Dan’s obsessed ex-girlfriend Louisa moves into the house next door, intending to drive the happy couple apart by any means necessary.

Thoughts

A man is watching TV and hears a noise… wait is this me? He goes to the door but no one is there so he continues watching TV. (Seriously, is this me?) The man goes to check on another noise and is suffocated to death with a plastic bag. (Okay, so this isn’t me.)

Since that man is dead, a sexy lady moves in next door. Katie brings over a fruit basket to welcome the new neighbor, but she isn’t home. Katie is an illustrator and children’s book writer and Dan just got a promotion at work. Katie goes golfing with her hot husband, Dan and they ponder who the new neighbor could be!

While Katie and Dan are ar the funeral for the man who died, a hooded person keys into their house and snoops around. The hooded person puts a camera in the bedroom and is almost caught. The hooded figure also turns up the oven and ruins their eggplant parmesan. (Which is fine because eggplant, sucks.)

The next morning, Katie goes out for a run. She stops to tie her shoe and meets Louisa the sexy neighbor. The girls hit it off and start running together in the mornings. Louisa is in PR, “Oh public relations!” and has just gotten out of a ten year relationship. Katie talks about how obsessed she is with her husband and can’t wait to introduce Dan.

The hooded figure is still following Katie around and sneaking into their house. The hooded figure doesn’t care if it is daylight out. They break into the house and put MORE cameras all around the house. The maid almost catches the hooded figure and gets knocked unconscious and rushed to the hospital… SHE DIES?!?!

Katie keeps trying to introduce Louisa to Dan, but things keep coming up. Also, Louise won’t let Katie into her house.

After Katie falls off her bike, Dan and Louisa finally meet. It is pretty uneventful except that Katie is rushed to the hospital from her bike fall. Katie scolds Dan for not being more friendly to Louisa.

Turns out there is a reason Dan isn’t so friendly. He goes over to Louisa’s house and ask her why she moved into next to him. She says she loved the house and it is NBD. They have a past, according to Dan they used to date.. but not seriously. He ghosted her. Dan immediately changes the locks to his house and is sent on a work trip.

Katie takes Louisa to the golf club and brings up the whole dating her husband thing. Louisa tells Katie that it was nothing, but is clearly jealous. She goes home and cries in a bubble bath while holding a picture of her and Dan at a New Years event? To prove she is over Dan, or not. Louisa hires a male escort to pretend to be her boyfriend.

Louisa is just out of control, she steals the new house key, poisons Katie with carpet cleaner smoothie. Katie gets really sick and Dan is too busy playing golf to care. When he comes home he sure is pissed to find Katie feeling better. She is hanging with Louisa and her escort boyfriend.

Katie fights with Dan. Katie fights with Louisa. IDK what is happening this movie is so boring.

Katie has a dinner party while Louisa makes some more carpet cleaner smoothie and then arrives fashionably late. While Dan is doing the dishes Louisa caresses him from behind. Katie catches them and assumes her husband is cheating. Katie leaves and goes to stay with her friend. (who is pointless in this movie.) Dan is left by himself with Louisa, he slams the door in her face.

The escort finds out about Katies scheme with the carpet cleaner, so she suffocates him with a plastic bag. She stages it to look like Dan killed her “boyfriend”. She tells the cops and they are like… WTF is this movie and why are we in it. They arrest Dan and it is all set up to look like Dan and Louisa were having an affair.

The pointless friend, turns out the be the pointless sister, gets in a car accident while driving Katie’s car. The police think a hit was taken out on Katie and someone is trying to kill her. (The find traces of poison in her dishes.) Katie demands to see her husband. He tells Katie that Louisa is obsessed with Dan. (Just like her.) Katie promises to figure it out, some way/somehow.

She Swifty Seek’s (this movie’s Google) Louisa’s name and looks at her social media accounts and talks to herself about how crazy Louisa is. (Added in post with terrible voice over.) Then Katie finds the camera in her house. She sneaks over to Louisa’s house (like on her tippy toes) and finds a laptop in the bedroom dresser. The laptop contains footage of Louisa setting up the cameras, she is the hooded figure. It also has footage of the night of the murder that would be Dan’s alibi.

With five minutes left in the movie, Dan is released from prison. The police issue a warrant for Louisa’s arrest, but the can’ find her. Katie finds her in her bedroom. They struggle and Katie pushes Louisa down the stairs. The police and Dan arrive. I guess Louisa died??? Oh wait, no she is in jail refusing to color.

Six months later, Katie is pregnant with a baby girl. The end!

Side Note

Also titled: The Ex Next Door

Editing in this movie was super distracting and not good.

Minority Report: None.

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Overall rating

🔪 (1 Knife)

🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷 (5 glasses of wine required)