Killer Vacation (2018 Lifetime)
Synopsis (via Lifetime)
Successful businessman Jake takes his pregnant girlfriend Lindsey on a babymoon trip to an upscale desert resort. When they get there, Lindsey discovers thatJake’s meddlesome soon to be ex-wife, Gwen is there too. In a dream vacation gone wrong, it becomes apparent that someone is determined that Lindsey will never use her return ticket.
A woman drinks champagne on a terrace in the desert. She pours a toast for her husband and is so happy… until he puts on black gloves and pushes her over the edge. Her body falls over, and she ends up Interrupting a yoga class below, which is super rude!
Lindsey is a team player and good at her job. She is working on the numbers and has a sassy back friend who drinks wine on the weekends. Lindsey passes on the weekend hang because she has a date with her secret boyfriend. (Jake, a married co-worker. Whose wife’s father owns the company!!) Lindsey doesn’t want to be “the other woman,” but she totally is. Jake is separated from his wife and is stringing Lindsey along. While they are talking in his office, someone takes pictures of them being affectionate.
After their talk, Lindsey rushes out of the office and into the bathroom to throw up… in the morning… In case you missed it, she takes out her phone and checks the date. She is late! Lindsey goes to buy a pregnancy test, and someone takes pictures of her from a car. She is upset with herself for getting into this situation. She was the new girl at work, and he called her smart. This bitch is NOT intelligent because she is totally pregnant with the boss’s daughter’s husband.
Lindsey spends the next few scenes walking around the cover, holding her belly. She breaks the news to Jake. (who is so basic, I can’t even.) He tells her to go to her doctor and not trust a stupid pregnancy test. “Those things are only 99% accurate.” He then tells her he is not going to put a ring on it just because she is pregnant, and SHE is like, “That would be an odd choice because you’re already married.”
Later, Jake comes over to Lindsey’s apartment (but really is it a hotel room ?) He tells her that he loves her and he wants to do the right thing. He is leaving for a conference and invites her to the desert for a “babymoon.” Lindsey buys it and tells him that she loves him.
Scenic shots of the fancy dessert resort happen. The creepy car photographer happens to work at the resort and makes a mysterious call. Lindsey and Jake have adjoining rooms. This won’t look good because Jake’s wife, Gwen, shows up and books the honeymoon suite. She hired the creepy photographer and goes through the evidence, but is not satisfied. She needs proof that he is cheating, so the prenup is null and void.
The creepy photographer ups his game (or maybe not) and is now just blatantly taking photos of Lindsey. She brings it up to Jake, who is not worried. Not even when the creepy photographer comes up to their table and calls him a liar. His name is Neil, and he brings up Gwen and how great she is. Like, multiple times.
Lindsey and Jake go hiking together. He tells her that he is going to throw his ring over the cliff when they reach the top… just like he did to that girl in the beginning. Lindsey is struggling on this hike, she blames the baby, and I blame her LAME outfit. Since he has a meeting and not cell service, Jake walks back and leaves Lindsey to rest for a bit.
Instead of resting, she slips and dramatically almost falls off a cliff. Then she struggles to climb back up while screaming for help. A lesbian park ranger arrives and throws Lindsey a rope to climb. When she gets to the top, the lesbian park ranger tells her that park hours are closed, writes her a ticket, and that she needs to leave. Oh, and the trail has been closed to the public for 8 years!!!
Jake apologizes for taking Lindsey on a closed trail and putting her in danger. He also negs her and tells her that he was just trying to do a nice thing for the woman he loves!
Speaking of the woman he loves, Gwen shows up and is disgusted at Lindsey’s disheveled appearance. Gwen tells Jake that she booked dinner plans and the honeymoon suite for them to stay in. Lindsey tries to book a flight out ASAP and can’t get out until the following night. Lindsey starts crying, and the conspires to suggest that she take a yoga class.
In yoga, with a cutie instructor, Lindsey cries again and holds her belly. No bodies fall into this class! Later, at the hotel bar, the yoga instructor, Kirk, chats Lindsey up. He says Lindsey looks like she needs a friend, and she agrees. He tells her about why he loves yoga as she sadly watches Gwen and Jake have a romantic dinner.
Lindsey ignores Jake’s text, but she can’t escape the adjoining rooms. She tells him that she needs to take care of herself and the baby and is leaving tomorrow. She calls Jake a liar and refuses to be a homewrecker. He shows her the divorce papers and tried to win her back, literally getting on his knees and begging. He asks her to marry her, and she tells him to get divorced, and then they can talk. When she wakes up, and Jake is still with Gwen, she calls her POC BFF, who gives her a pep talk.
While reading at the pool, Lindsey sees Gwen and Neil talking secretly. Lindsey overhears them by standing around the corner. Gwen learns that Lindsey is pregnant and tells Neil to take care of Lindsey, as in kill her. Lindsey’s phone goes off (BFF text), and Neil knows that she heard everything. He chases her, but Lindsey runs directly into the lesbian park ranger, just kidding some other security officer who doesn’t care about her.
Since no one will help her, Lindsey calls Jake. Jake can’t believe her story but tells her to meet him at the cafe where they were the other day. At the cafe, Kirk, the yoga instructor, shows up, and they have tea together. Lindsey spills the tea on her whole situation, and Kirk is understanding and encouraging. He mentions a woman who killed herself two years ago… the woman was in the exact same situation as Lindsey. He offers to give her a ride back to the hotel. On the way back to the car, they are almost run over, and Kirk literally clutched his pearls and gasped. LOL!
Neil gets killed in a parking garage????
Lindsey packs her things and hears a knock at the door. It is Gwen, and she is in a rage. Lindsey locks herself in the bathroom while Gwen talks outside the door. She admits to hiring Neil after years of cheating. Gwen shows Lindsey the pictures of the girl who died in the hotel. That girl was one of the women that Jake was having an affair with. Gwen reveals that she thinks Jake killed the woman and is warning Lindsey to be careful!
Lindsey calls Andrea, her POC friend, and asks her to hack into Jake’s computer and fesses up to the affair. She finds messages from Shayla, the dead woman. The words are pretty much the same thing that he said to Lindsey. The friend also looks up search history and finds he has been looking up
“Dangerous Desert Hiking Trails,” etc.
Jake grabs Lindsey as she is getting on the elevator and holds her at knifepoint. Kirk sees them struggling in the elevator and gets security. (Who is no help.) Kirk runs up the stairs to try to save her. Lindsey and Jake have a knife fight and end up on the balcony. Jake is about to charge at Lindsey and push her off the balcony, but she sidesteps, and he goes flying over the railing.
Next, we go to a baby shower, and Lindsey is pregnant AF. Andrea is there to let us know that Lindsey somehow got a big promotion at work and to give her a gift from Kirk. It is a picture of a sunset.
Minority Report: Andrea & the security guard
🔪🔪🔪 (3 Knives)
🍷🍷🍷🍷 (4 glasses of wine required)
*Photo Credit: © 2019 Lifetime