Vanished in Yosemite (2023 Lifetime)


Vanished in Yosemite (2023 Lifetime)

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Cast: Skye Coyne, Kelcie Stranahan, Rob LaColla Jr., Jason Tobias

Director: Doug Campbell

Writer: Doug Campbell, Andrea Shawcross

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Kidnapping in the Grand Canyon Lifetime Movie, Top National Parks, and antibiotics? Lifetime Uncorked

We missed you! This month we are recapping/reviewing another Lifetime Movie with Dan and Bran! This month we talk about Lifetime's Kidnapping in the Grand Canyon. Starring: Gina Vitori, Philip Boyd, Katrina Rosita, and Ryann Bailey Will we "Pour it up" or "Put a Cork in it"??? Lifetime Uncorked and Deck the Hallmark collide on this monthly podcast covering your favorite TV movies! Brandon (Bran) Gray & Daniel (Dan) Thompson join Lifetime Expert Patrick Serrano to break Lifetime's TV Movie lineup for 2023. Follow us on social media for more content @LifetimeUncorked & @HallmarkPodcast Donate to Patrick's Cable Fund: Read Patrick's Recaps/Reviews: Listen to Patrick's latest single: Check out other Bramble Jam Podcasts: Subscribe to our Youtube Channel: Watch Patrick's Lifetime Movie: Old Flames Never Die, starring PATRICK SERRANO! Business Inquiries | podcast@lifetimeuncorked.comFollow the Podcast @LifetimeUncorked & @hallmarkpodcastFollow the Host @PatrickMiguel Support Lifetime Uncorked with a monthly donation: — Send in a voice message:
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Synopsis (via Lifetime)

While vacationing in Yosemite, sisters Katrina and Jennifer meet the perfect guy: handsome Rick. Smitten, Katrina is certain she has met Mr. Right; however, when Katrina goes missing deep in the Yosemite wilderness, Jennifer suspects kidnapping and sets out to rescue her sister. Skye Coyne, Kelcie Stranahan, Rob LaColla, and Jason Tobias star. (2023)

Recap/Wine Thoughts

Inspired by true events

Then, the movie goes into a surreal dream sequence where a blonde woman wakes up in her bed in the middle of a national park. She looks at herself in the mirror and then is barraged with arrows. The woman runs through the woods and is chased by a man with a crossbow and a bow and arrow. It’s like the Hunger Games! The woman is shot to death by arrows. (I thought you couldn’t die in your dreams, but whatever, Lifetime does what they want!)

Cut to ANOTHER blonde woman alive; her name is Katrina, and she carries a kayak with her sister Jennifer. They are also in a national park, yet to be confirmed as Yosemite, as the title/CGI Mountains suggests. Katrina seems more like a priss, and Jennifer is VERY into it. (Or maybe a control freak!)

The hills aren’t alive, they are AI

At dinner in a random fancy restaurant, the sistres meet a photographer named Rick who is a national park photographer and unafraid to make sexual double entendres about how “big” his camera is. Katrina shamelessly flirts with the handsome man. Rick invites Katrina to hike with him and Jennifer is offended that her sister would blow her off for a guy. Katrina calls her sister repressed and Jennifer calls her sister a slut. Jennifer asks Katrina if they can go together for safety.

Rick is VERY proud of his big “camera”

The next morning, Jennifer has a stomach bug from some undercooked chicken and can’t go on the hike. She makes sure Katrina has her location on and asks her to be careful. Katrina and Rick hike and take photos while flirting. They makeout by a babbling brook or whatever. (Nature is not my thing, that is why I watch Lifetime movie, LOL! I’m an inside kid for sure.)

While going to the bathroom, Katrina leaves her purse unattended and Rick puts drugs in her water. (Come on ladies!) While they hike back, Rick is all like, “You better hydrate, gurl!” Katrina starts to feel woozy and has to stop. She faints and drops her phone. She also grabs Rick’s bracelet off his wrist. Rick has a truck nearby and throws Katrina in the back and drives away.

As it gets later and later into the day, Jennifer begins to worry. She also seems to be feeling much better! Jess calls her sister and Rick but gets no answer. Jennifer tracks her sisters phone into Yosemite. When she finds the phone on the ground, Jennifer calls the county sheriff. The call drops because she is in. the middle of nowhere. Later she calls her ex-boyfriend Wally who lives in the area and asks him for help. (They haven’t spoken for three years, and Wally is a asshole! He tells her to go to hell.)

Katrina wakes up handcuffed to a bed and screams for help. Her wrists and ankles are tied. Rick watches her while eating crackers. He tells her that she brought it upon herself and what is going to happen to her is her fault. (Wow, that is messed up.) Rick is working with another guy who he calls on his cellphone. They are probably the Katniss Everdeen guys from before.

Eventually, Wally caves and decides to help his ex girlfriend. They hike on the trail and look for Katrina. Wally thinks that Katrina is just having a sexy time with the guy. Then they find his friendship bracelet and know that Katrina, who is explicitly Gen Z, is in trouble. Jennifer posts a Live on social media to help spread the works about her missing sister. The video garners millions of views and the hotel managers asks Jennifer to take down the video because they are losing reservations.

700 views on a live is good for a non-influencer

Meanwhile, Katrina is being spoon fed chili bt Rick. It is gross. She spits food at Rick and a pisses him off. She tests his boundaries and plots her escape. She is untied to do dishes. (Sexist!) Katrina doesn’t believe his threats and belittles him and his manhood. Then she tries to make a run for it, but doesn’t get far.

Jennifer and Wally question other hikers and finally talk to the police. The police laugh when Jess asks them to search the park. It is too large of an area. They decide to continue to do their own detective work and find a fire road where Rick parked his car. They hike in the opposite direction of the hotel in hopes to come across more clues.

Jennifer posts another video on social media and Rick sees this one. He realizes her needs to do something about this pesky sister and cuts the breaks to Wally’s car. Jennifer and Wally bickers while their car careens down a winding road and and right into a tree. The airbags don’t deploy for budgetary reasons and they walk out unscathed.

More CGI

Wally and Jennifer walk back to the hotel. The room is trashed and they worry that someone has broken into their room. Wally defends them with a little axe, but no one is in the room. It is a set up to get the two kicked out of the hotel and off park grounds. While being escorted off the property, Wally and Jennifer fight about their relationship. Jennifer feels stalled out and apologizes for cheating on Wally. (Nevermind the whole being banned from a National Park!)

A dorky hiker/bird watcher hears Katrina screaming for help and searches to see where the voice is coming from. Katrina is alone because Rick went out to the store. He follows the voice to the cabin and tries to free Katrina, who he recognizes from the video. The birdwatcher cuts Katrina free and they run into the woods just as Rick comes back. Rick chases them down and kills the bird boy.

He didn’t stand a chance!

Katrina is recaptured and reties up by Rick, he tells her that he will kill her if she tries to leave again.

Jennifer continues to post more videos and tries to get back into the park. Wall starts a trash can fire to distract the police who guard the entrance and they sneak by. A hiker named Melissa meets up with them and says she also was almost kidnapped by Rick. She promises to help the next day.

Wally and Jennifer sleep in a tent like it’s Brokeback Mountain. They kiss and are rekindling the romance at the most awkward time.

Melissa guides them to the cabin where she was almost kidnapped. I’m starting to think she is in on it. As they are looking for the cabin, Rick sneaks up behind them and he pushes Wally over a cliff. Melissa and Rick tie Jennifer up and bring her to the actual cabin. Melissa is Rick’s sister and helps find women for him. She was the one who poisoned Jennifer’s food to make her sick and to get Katrina alone.

The sister and brother love to hunt. After animals became no fun to hunk, the siblings moved onto people. Melissa and Rick force the sisters to drink a concoction to knock them out. They wake up in the bed in the middle of the woods! It wasn’t a dream after all!

Not so sweet dreams!

Then the arrows starts flying! Melissa has the crossbow and Rick has the bow and arrow. They chase the sisters through the woods, this time they are unmasked so we can see the joy on the hunters face.

With strength in numbers Jennifer and Katrina work together to out smart their captors. First they sneak up behind Melissa with sticks and move quickly out of the way when Rick shoots an arrow at them. He hits his sister instead. The sisters beat Rick to death with sticks and then they hug. They are safe!

Katrina becomes a trauma counselor and Wally isn’t dead! They post an update video on social media including Jennifer and Wally are pregnant! The end!

Side Note/Stray Thoughts

Lifetime is really having a moment with National Park Movies. What is next? Death in Death Valley, Evil in the Everglades!

Props to Kelcie Stranahan for her cute choice in toe nail polish! I’m copying her for Memorial day weekend.

Melissa being queer was fun! We love an LGBTQ villain.

Minority Report: Police, Hotel Manager, Melissa

Overall rating 

Numbers of Kills: 🔪🔪🔪🔪 (4 knives)

Enjoyment Level (1-5 scale): 🍷🍷🍷🍷 (4 Glasses of Wine)

Should you watch it? Pour it up! (Give it a shot)

What did you think of the movie? Let me know in the comments or on social media @LifetimeUncorked & @patrickmiguel 
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*Photo Credit: © 2023 Lifetime® | A+E Networks®

Live tweet along with @LifetimeUncork using the hashtag #LifetimeMovies #Lifetime #VanishedinYosemite


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