Harry & Meghan: Becoming Royal (2019 Lifetime)
Synopsis (via Lifetime)
“Harry & Meghan: Becoming Royal,” the sequel to the 2018 hit movie, continues the love story of newlyweds Prince Harry (Charlie Field, “Genius”) and American actress Meghan Markle (Tiffany Smith, “Supernatural”), pulling back the curtain to reveal the untold joys and challenges of life inside the Royal Family during their pivotal first year of marriage. Beyond blending their families and cultures, Harry and Meghan’s core values are put to the test as they try to find the balance between honoring Royal tradition and staying true to their beliefs.
The movie starts off with a wedding, but not the royal wedding. It is Meghan Markle’s last day on her mediocre TV show Suits. Before she leaves for London, Meghan says goodbye to her one friend while secret service wait to rush her through paparazzi.
The Good Day UK newscaster, Bridget, and Caspian narrate a lot of exposition. I hope they don’t come back, but I have a feeling they will…
It is the first royal Christmas, and I genuinely feel like we are in a Hallmark movie. Prince William and Harry talk about maintaining the monarchy on course and can’t institute too much change. They are by a piano and looking at a picture of them when they were young with Princess Diana.
Meghan arrives, and they make out and drink champagne by candlelight. All the bells and whistles can’t really make the chemistry. The actors are feeling a little stilted and not sexy. After they get it on, they talk about the wedding and plan to ask for what they want during Christmas while everyone is in good spirits.
At a party, Meghan meets Leonard, who acts as her royal etiquette guide, he is the queen’s personal assistant (or whatever.) He tells her to curtsy when William and Kate arrive and also Camilla and Charles (MR. SHEFFIELD!!!) Meghan tries to bond with Kate. Still, she is too distracted by her children. Once the queen arrives, they open gag gifts, because the royal family doesn’t do real Christmas presents, and the queen loves Meghan’s gift! They all laugh and laugh.
The Good Day UK newscasters are back, and they are watching “live” footage of the royal family. They make fun of her outfit and call her a poop emoji head.
Meghan and Harry see the newscast, and it turns out the Meghan used to be Instagram friends Bridget.
Then the royal family plays charades (or Sher-ahds as the British say.) Meghan again makes a good impression and guess the queen’s turn, because no one else has a clue what she is going for. After winning over the queen, they ask her for an “African American Preacher” and a gospel choir.
Back with the Good Day UK newscasters. They talk about wedding details. (Cake, alcohol, flowers, invitations.) While we a visual montage of Harry and Meghan doing wedding things. Next is the guest list, and they nab… OPRAH!!!!!!!
Just as Meghan is getting giddy over picking a tiara from the crown jewels, Harry comes to burst her bubble. Someone sent hate mail and said racist things, he is upset, but Meghan explains that she has heard it all before and has thick skin.
Good Day UK AGAIN!!!! They talk about Meghan’s outspokenness at a charitable function.
William and Harry argue that Meghan is to political and shouldn’t be speaking about the #MeToo movement. Prince Charles and Camilla are downing vodkas, and he tells Harry that the problem isn’t Meghan’s outspokenness, it is her Americanness.
When Meghan finds out that she cannot have the family jewels that she wants because princess Eugenie picked the same one a year ago. Prince Harry flips out on his grandma and is told to chill out. The queen recruits Leonard to get Meghan into shape. He first baptizes her, because lord forbid she is Catholic and then puts her through Kidnapping training. Haha. Louie is basically her fairy godmother. (These two actors have more chemistry than Harry and Meghan do.)
Meghan gets a call from her creep dad, he wants to see if Samantha can also come to the wedding, but Meghan is like, “no, she told the press I’m high maintenance.”
Good Day UK people are back. They report that Meghan’s dad WILL walk her down the aisle.
The new, as we know, doesn’t last long because Meghan’s dad sold the photos to the press. When Harry and Meghan confront him about it, he denies everything. The Good Day UK people break the story and then report that Tom Markel had a heart attack and will not be coming to the wedding. Meghan hears it on the news first and not from her loved ones back home… maybe because she has none.
Meghan has doubts after she talks to her father, and he is a total dick. She basically has a panic attack about walking down the aisle alone in front of two billion people. Harry talks her down and tells her that he loves her.
While downing more vodka, Prince Charles and Camilla offer for Charles to walk Meghan down the aisle.
It’s a wedding day! Meghan chants, “I can do this” with her flower girl for a little too long. They intercut actual footage of the crowd while Meghan and her mother talk in the car about breaking boundaries and stereotypes. Her mother tells her that she is proud of her.
If the movie ended now, I’d be okay with that. We, unfortunately, we get a shirtless Harry and Meghan in bed watching the news coverage of the wedding and laughing about the night before. They exchange vows while looking into each other’s eyes. It makes me uncomfortable.
Summer happens, and the Good Day UK people talk about how she nailed all the social events of the season… WHO CARES!
Meanwhile, Meghan is working on a cookbook. She wants to use a cover with women she met during a charity. They are immigrants in hijabs, and the royal family does not want her to get involved in that topic. They ask her to just put food on the cover.
At a party, this white lady is straight-up rude to Meghan and “forgets” to curtsy. After talking some mad smack, Meghan demands that she curtsy and then jets set back to the USA. Meghan is losing track of who she is and is compromising her values. Her friend tells Meghan that everything is going to be okay. While they are talking, Meghan gets morning sickness and is totally pregnant.
Back in the UK, Harry gets Meghan a dog. She is like, “That is nice, Ummm I’m pregnant tho.” Next, she tells Leonard, who is so excited and then immediately goes into planning the birth announcement. To assert herself, she demands that the photo she wants will be on the cookbook, and they are going to serve CURRY instead of cucumber sandwiches.
Good Day UK newscasters have a montage of scandalous headlines. They are starting to think Meghan is shady. William and Kate are splitting off from Harry and Meghan due to the bad press.
Harry tries to “get his woman in line” and tells her not to wear black nail polish. He is worried that Meghan will leave him because she won’t be able to handle the pressure. She says that he should never doubt her love, and if he does, then maybe they shouldn’t be together. Harry eventually apologizes
The book cover and event goes over well with Bridget from Good Day UK, and Caspian says some terrible things. Bridget tells him he is awful and racist and quits the show on the air. Meghan watches on and is like, “Yeah Girl!”
While packing, Harry has a flashback to the photo by the piano. Diana tells the young boys that they are a family and a team. Then the literally sing “London Bridge.”
It’s Christmas again, and Kate and Meghan plan their outfits to make Kate shine this time. The fab four are back together and are all happy.
Bridget has a new show and a black co-host. They play a montage of all the things that happen in the movie we just watched set to a Coldplay knock off. As the music plays, Happy and Meghan walk the ground of their new home with their new baby.
The movie ends with a real picture of Harry and Megan with their new baby.
Minority Report: Meghan Markel and her mother… that is pretty much it!
Not much to say about this movie, it was pretty dull.
❤️ (1 Heart)
🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷 (5 glasses of wine required)
*Photo Credit: © 2019 Lifetime