Confessions of a Christmas Letter (2024 Hallmark Channel)
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Cast: Angela Kinsey, Alec Santos, Lillian Doucet-Roche
Director: Heather Hawthorn Doyle
Writer(s): Jennifer Smith, Kate Smith
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Synopsis (via Hallmark)
Settie Rose (Kinsey), a quirky family matriarch, enters her town’s annual holiday letter-writing contest but needs help, so she hires struggling novelist Juan (Santos) to craft the perfect letter. When a mix- up leads to the rumor that Juan is engaged to Settie’s daughter Lily (Lillian Doucet- Roche, The Cases of Mystery Lane: Death is Listening), the whole family scrambles to keep up the charade. As Juan bonds with the Roses and overcomes his writer’s block, Settie learns that embracing her imperfect family is what truly makes her story special. Features a cameo appearance by Brian Baumgartner (The Office).
Recap/Wine Thoughts
Angela from the office plays a writer named Settie. She argues with the post office man (That other guy from the office.) to get her letters back. She steals them with her friends. They work together to be Lily or Sue, another writer. Is there some contest about writing Christmas letters?
Flash to one year later because that will make things make sense. Settie still wants to be on the Wall of Fame for… Christmas letters? Settie feels like it is her year since her gay son got married in the past year, and her daughter Lily has been studying abroad.
Sue shows up, and she is a total snob/bitch.
The Christmas letter-writing montage is only seven minutes in. That is a red flag. Settie’s husband, Paddy, tries to encourage his wife, but she wants to hire a ghostwriter. Settie wishes she could hire the author, Juan Sanchez, of her book club book because the book is soooooo good.
Cut to Puerto Rico, where Juan Sanchez tries to get some writing done while his uncle blasts Christmas music. Juan is suffering from writer’s block, so when a message comes in from Settie, his uncle agrees because it will be good for Juan, or it could end up like Misery.
Lily jumps in a rideshare from the airport, and Juan is in her car. She assumes that he is sharing the ride with her. They are both surprised when they are dropped off and greeted by Lily’s annoying mother, Settie.
Settie is embarrassed when Sue shows up unexpectedly and finds Juan in their home. Settie obviously can’t tell her she hired a ghostwriter and tells everyone Juan is Lily’s Italian fiance. Juan is weirded out and tries to bow out, but the family isn’t having it.
Everyone puts on Christmas onesies and goes over the itinerary. Settie updates Juan on what is happening with the family, except for her son Jack and his husband, who she leaves off the Christmas letter. (Because he is embarrassed by her, and thankfully not the other way around. Either way, it seems weird the gay couple is not around.) Juan tries to back out again, but Settie begs him to stay.
After Juan sees how much of a bitch Sue is, he agrees to stay, but only if he gets a less hot onesie and all the black coffee. He tries to finish writing but keeps getting interrupted by family Christmas activities. (These are all competition-based for some reason and include the whole town.)
Lily and Juan lie to everyone about their relationship and must make up a tango to impress everyone. Juan has a hard time following Lily’s lead, making Sue suspicious.
Juan gets to work but learns that Settie is trying to control the narrative about her family. She doesn’t want anyone to know that Paddy writes poetry, her father makes animal noises, her mother loves silent disco (Which is fun), and the gay son exists! (Just kidding, he is still in hiding.)
Jack attends family breakfast because he doesn’t want to miss out on the family drama. He wants Settie to come clean about how she exaggerates in her Christmas letters, making him feel like he can never live up to her expectations. Settie explains that the Christmas letter is supposed to encourage her family to do better!
Settie sits down with Juan, and he tells her about how her family feels about the Christmas Letter. When he tries to get Settie to open up, she can only spout Christmas lyrics and cliches like a demented Christmas AI.
Lily shows Juan a garage filled with decorations that Sue has told Settie were too tacky to put out. To surprise Settie and maybe cause her to have an anxiety attack, the family decorates the house in the middle of the night. Then Lily practices for an audition; instead of running lines with Juan, they practice kissing.
At the next morning’s meeting, everyone is exhausted, then there is a scream from outside. Sue disapproves of the decorations, but the town loves them and starts touring the property.
Settie hosts her book club, and Juan can’t handle Sue’s trash talk about his book. He jumps into book club and talks about how great his book is. Sue is offended and excuses herself to go to the bathroom, but she snoops around Juan’s room and looks through his things. She discovers the truth about who he REALLY is.
A big party happens at the country club, and Juan’s family shows up. Sue shares her conspiracy and thinks Juan is involved in the mafia. She is wrong, and it is revealed that her husband writes Christmas letters. Everyone laughs at Sue out of the party for being a liar. (Even though that is what Settie has been doing the whole movie.)
Settie has a change of heart and thanks Juan for writing the Christmas letter, but she is going to take a stab at her letter herself. Settie is honest about the whole thing with Juan and her family’s hidden talents. It isn’t particularly well-written or that interesting.
THE END!
Side Note/Stray Thoughts
Alec Santos is pretty hot, and I’m glad he has been bumped to leading man status.
Christmas Concho was cute. I want that book.
Overall rating
Pour it up
Put a Cork in It
Christmas Feels
🎄🎄 (2 Christmas Trees)
Enjoyment Level: 🍷🍷 (2 glasses of wine.)
What did you think of the movie? Let me know in the comments or on social media @LifetimeUncorked
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*Photo Credit: © 2024 Hallmark
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