Here Kills the Bride (2022 Lifetime)

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Synopsis (via Lifetime)

A young woman, Jasmine, is convinced something is off with her brother Carlos’ new fiance, Grace. Little does Jasmine know that Grace, the upcoming bride, has a destructive past and isn’t afraid to eliminate anyone she thinks is a threat to her happiness. Ashlee Fess, Erin Pineda, and Fernando Belo star. (2022)

Recap/Wine Thoughts

The movie begins at a skeezy off-the highway motel called Budget Inn. Three drunk young people stumble to a room for a bachelor party. A stripper grinds on the groom-to-be while his wife-to-be, Natalie, watches from the window, seething. When the party is over, Natalie confronts Alex and injects him with potassium chloride so he can feel her heartbreak. He dies, of course.

Cut to a McMansion, Natalie has found a new man and a new name, Grace. She has convinced a hunk named Carlos to marry her. Carlos introduces Grace to his family, and his sister Jasmine seems stand-offish. The engagement news doesn’t go over well with her either during a family brunch at a restaurant.

Jasmine excuses herself to go to the bathroom and overhears Grace talking to a former co-worker from her “days on the pole.” She questions Carlos about Grace’s past, and he tells her to stop being the overprotective sister. He is in love and that is all that matters.

Carlos tries to explain to Grace about his overprotective sister. As a teenager, he almost drowned from hitting his head on the diving board. Jasmine failed to save her brother because she had been drinking and the guilt of not being there for her brother caused Jasmine to have a mental breakdown. BACKSTORY! (I’m glad they laid it all out there initially, rather than flashing back to this story in pieces throughout the movie.)

The girls meet with a gay gay gay wedding planner and try to throw together a wedding. While trying on wedding dresses, Grace asks Jasmine to be her maid of honor because she doesn’t have any friends.

Grace is nervous when she hears the flower shop they are using belongs to her former co-worker/reformed stripper. (Who spills the tea to Vanessa, the Gay Wedding planner’s assistant.) Grace smashes the woman in the face after a confrontation and is almost caught by Jasmine, who stops in the shop.

News of the murder randomly comes on the TV, and Jasmine thinks she remembers Grace’s conversation with the florist. She calls the police to tell detectives what she knows. Then she starts feeling like someone is following her and becomes increasingly paranoid. Her family holds a meeting to ask if she is still taking her medication. (YIKES!)

Vanessa returns from a job out of town and tries to warn her gay boss about Grace. He doesn’t want to hear it and gets Gay mad. (Which is REALLY mad, FYI!) Vanessa goes home and tells her boyfriend, who actually cares even less than Gay boss. While the boyfriend takes a shower, Grace shows up and kills Vanessa with a candle stick.

While Grace tries on wedding dresses, Jasmin searches through her purse and finds out her real name is Natalie Grace Baxter. She does an online search on a Angelfire website from 1996 and learns about Grace’s time on the pole.

Jasmine visits the strip club and talks to Lifetime legend Cia Coley who plays a manager. She gives Jasmine the background on Grace and doesn’t have nice things to say. It is nothing worse than what Grace says to herself in the mirror at work. (She gives herself a little pep talk to finish Vanessa off in the hospital.)

Grace takes an extra shift the night before her wedding to put something into Vanessa’s IV, killing her.

It is the wedding day, and Jasmine is still certain that Carlos is making a BIG mistake. Grace is happy with Vanessa out of the way and overhears Carlos telling his dad that he DIDN’T get strippers.

Jasmine still can’t let things go and visit the hospital to ask about Vanessa. She places doubt in a nurse’s and security guard’s minds about Vanessa’s death. The security guard reviews the footage and sees Grace on the ICU floor.

With the wedding in progress, Jasmine bursts in and stops the wedding. She asks Grace about Vanessa’s death and shows her the security footage. Then she asks WHY.

When the Gay wedding planner calls Grace crazy, she really goes off the deep end and attacks Carlos with the knife from the wedding cake. Jasmine knocks Grace out and tells her that she is not going to hurt her brother.

Cut to two months later, Grace is in jail and flirting with a hot cop. The end.

Side Note

Minority Report: Carlos, Brenda, Jose, Jasmine, Vanessa, Harmony, Brady, Patty, Winston, Officiant

Reel One Entertainment

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*** I’ve updated the rating system moving forward. Knives represent # of kills. Wine is over enjoyment (NOT a value judgment) on a 1-5 scale.

I will use the following tags for those who want to know whether to watch or skip: Pour it Up (Would Recommend) or Put A Cork In It (Would Not Recommend).

Overall rating

Number of Kills:

🔪🔪🔪 (3 Knives)

Enjoyment Level: 🍷🍷 (2 glasses of wine.)

What did you think of the movie? Let me know in the comments or on social media @LifetimeUncorked