Harry and Meghan: A Royal Romance (2018 Lifetime)

Harry and Meghan: A Royal Romance 

Stars: Muarry Fraser, Parisa Fitz-Henley

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Synopsis (via Lifetime)

Chronicling the courtship and love story between a beloved prince and his new fiancée, the film will examine the history of Prince Harry (Murray Fraser) and Meghan Markle (Parisa Fitz-Henley) from the moment they met after being set up by friends, through their initial courtship when they were able to keep their romance under wraps, and ultimately the intense global media attention surrounding their relationship and Meghan’s life as a divorced American actress.

Thoughts

We start off in 1997 with little Harry remembering his mother Diana while on Safari in Africa. Specifically Harry stealing pastries and Diana helping him be “naughty” and telling him she will always be ready. Raising the stakes, a lion sneaks up on Harry and Prince Charles goes to shoot it. Harry saves the lion because he is a good person.

Cut to 1993 where little Meghan Markle  is being a feminist about a soap commercial saying “Women wash dishes.” She says it should be people (this is true and really happened). Her dad supports her because he is literally washing dishes in this scene.

Flash to modern times where Meghan is an actress in the USA Suits, and Harry is a bad boy. William and Kate talk Harry into finding someone to settle down with. Meghan is dating, and her friend (Violet, who works in the costume department) sets them up on a blind date. Harry is late for the date and Meghan makes him apologize before continuing on with their date.

Harry sets up his bodyguard to come in and make an excuse, which is… “London Bridge is falling down,” and Meghan sees through his tricks. Since Meghan has the upper hand we get a scene of them really hitting off and having a heart-to-heart. He admits that he liked being in the army and she likes activism and wants to be the first biracial president. He quotes poetry to her and they almost kiss but realize that it is morning. They set up another date—but not before Meghan admits she is divorced.

Second date is in Botswana! They spend more time talking. Meghan talks about being biracial and how hard it was growing up and Harry talks about how hard it is to grow up redheaded, LOL Lifetime… (No.) They get it on in the tent. (Meghan drops her robe and is wearing nothing underneath and coos, “Are you coming?”) In the middle of the night they hear a lion roaring and it is probably the lion from before.

They secretly hang out while Meghan films her stupid USA show. Harry is held up in her apartment with her dogs (who wear clothes). Meghan plans a Halloween outing for Harry and herself. He is dressed up as a lizard and she is Hillary Clinton. They get discovered by the MEANEST Canadians who sell their pictures to the paparazzi and their relationship is exposed.

At the first meeting, Meghan hits it off with William and Kate. She doesn’t hit it off Annabell (who is a royal lady…) who talks shit about how Meghan is black, and she asks her how she gets her hair so straight. Meghan gets upset and goes on the terrace and tells Harry a story about her growing up and being discriminated against during Christmas (which includes the N word). Thankfully, Harry doesn’t bring up being a redhead.

The paparazzi are getting even more out of control and exploit Meghan and her mom’s race for scandalous headlines. Harry issues a statement about a line being crossed and calls the paparazzi out for being racist.

Harry shows up at Meghan’s mom’s house. She is PISSED because her family is turning on her and it is all just too much. She breaks up with him and gives him her love bracelet back. To set her straight, Meghan’s mom shows her Diana’s funeral, so Meghan can understand Harry’s perspective. It works and Meghan chases Harry down at the airport and tries to stop the plane. Airport security is like “HELL NO” and Meghan shows him a picture of them together and they stop the plane from taking off. She apologizes for being confused and admits that he is a charming prince, sometimes. They kiss and tell each other they love one another.

At Pippa Middleton’s wedding, where Meghan Markle was not invited because it would eclipse the wedding. Harry runs into some racist royals who are wearing a blackface broach. Harry tells them to take it off because it is unacceptable. She tells him, “If you want to play slap and tickle with a tar bush, that’s your business.” Prince Charles and Camilla come over and break it up. Prince Charles tells Harry that he approves and if anyone has a problem with Meghan they can go through him.

Harry goes up and get Meghan to come down. They order dirty martinis and dance to Crazy by Patsy Cline.”

The anniversary of Diana’s death is coming up and Harry is shutting down. Back in Botswana, Meghan and Harry are building houses and playing soccer with kids. Meghan plays with Harry’s hair while they talk about Diana because they are really there for each other. Harry get emotional and yells at Meghan for trying to be his therapist. Harry runs out into the night and Meghan runs after him, they run into the LION from the beginning of the movie and bravely stare him down.

We then get a tasteful sex scene. (Don’t worry, Royal Family!) Harry proposes the next morning.

Meghan has to be vetted by a very British man. He approves despite her sister who is selling a tell-all book, half brother who has a assault weapon charge, and her acting is a big roadblock! Harry moves to Canada so Meghan can film her stupid USA show. Meghan realizes that Suits is a terrible show and decides to move into Windsor Castle.

The Queen is FINALLY in the movie, the actress is less than stellar, but she hates The Crown and loves Meghan. The queen goes to show Meghan a portrait of another biracial royal. The queen tells Meghan and Harry that the painters used to hide their authentic selves and she is happy that Meghan is authentic.

In some kitchen. Harry proposes with a bad as ring from Botswana. The Queen signs off (literally) on the marriage and says she can’t wait to have grandchildren.

The movie ends with a montage of the movie we just saw set to a generic pop song. Then we get a montage of the REAL Harry and Meghan.  

Side Note

23 Million people tuned into William & Kate’s wedding. Lifetime also made a movie about them titled William and Kate: The Movie (2011) which aired 9 months before the wedding.

Meghan’s divorce was over looked by the royal family. She was married to Trevor Engelson, a producer, and allegedly sent her engagement ring to him in the MAIL, breaking off the wedding.  

Meghan Markle will not have bridesmaids and her father, who was a photography director on Married With Children and lottery winner, will be walking her down the aisle. (More about Thomas Markle Sr.)

Meghan is 36 and Harry is 33, just FYI.

Overall rating

❤️ ❤️ ❤️❤️   (4 Hearts)

🍷🍷🍷 (3 glasses of wine required)

*Photo Credit: © 2018 Lifetime

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