
If Walls Could Talk (2022 Lifetime)
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Cast: Meredith Thomas, Margo Parker, Conner Floyd, Nicole Danielle Watts
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Synopsis (via Lifetime)
Inspired by true events. After the death of her father, Olivia Garland moves home to help her mother, Rebecca. She becomes concerned about Rebecca’s claims of a ghost in the house and wonders if Rebecca is beginning to decline mentally. When Rebecca breaks her hip, Olivia hires health aide Jake Winters, whose patience and warmth seem too good to be true, and when strange things keep happening, Olivia must decide who she can trust and how to keep her and her mother safe. Margo Eve Parker, Conner Floyd, Nicole Danielle Watts star. (2022)
Recap/Wine Thoughts
Olivia calls her parents with bad news. She broke up with her boyfriend and will NOT be coming home to their ugly ass McMansion. The father, Eric, is so disappointed and saddened by the news that HE DIES?!?! (Or it could be the stress of financial troubles.) Wait no, he actually dies when someone breaks into the house and murders him by turning on the shower and causing him to slip and fall, hitting his head.
Olivia comes home for the funeral and her mother, Rebecca, claims the house is now haunted. She is terrified and won’t even stay in the home. (It isn’t just because of the gaudy design choices.) Rebecca has been staying with a neighbor named Agnes and is considering selling the house.
Rebecca gets a call from Eric’s phone and screams bloody murder. She thinks he is trying to reach her from the other side. Olivia and Agnes calm her down; even if they don’t have a reasonable explanation, Jeff’s cellphone is missing.
Olivia starts looking into her father’s affairs and finds some troubling financial information, and listens to angry voicemails from clients. Frazzled, Olivia backs into a hunk in the parking lot. He isn’t even mad and invites her to coffee. (Is that how this works? Find me in your nearest parking lot, hunks!)
Rebecca is spooked again while resting at home and falls down the stairs. She insists that she saw a hand and can’t be consoled. She fractures her hip and will need at-home care. Licky Olivia’s new hunk friend is a physical therapist and makes house calls! (He also helps Olivia sic a fridge that won’t shut. Not sure why it is essential, but we’ve seen her close this fridge like five times.)
Olivia finds a piece of paper with the words “Ibis Significant Mortem,” which means Owl of Death or something. She uses the phrase to get into her dad’s laptop and finds a letter on the desktop in the incident of his death.
Of course, the house has a pool, which is an excellent opportunity to get Jake with his shirt off. Agnes doesn’t think that Jake is so great and asks Olivia if she checked his references. She is the typically nosey neighbor and claims to have seen Jake snooping around the property.
Agnes looks into Jake and learns that Jake was a client of Olivia’s father. Could he be out for revenge? Agnes thinks so and is sure to tell Olivia her feelings.
Some photo albums are vandalized, and Rebecca is sure that is a ghost.
Speaking of ghosting, Agnes suddenly disappears and is not answering her phone. Olvia goes to the neighbor’s house, accepts a package from UPS, and finds the door unlocked and the kettle on. Olivia goes upstairs to find Agnes murdered?!?!?
Detectives want to talk with Jake, who has stopped coming in for physical therapy sessions with Rebecca. Olivia installs security cameras around the house and links them to her cellphone. (Because she is Gen Z like that.)
The signal goes dead, and the fridge is opened again. Olivia is attacked in her home but manages to fight off whoever he is. Matthew Pohlkamp shows up in an unhelpful detective cameo here.
Jake startles Olivia, and she knocks him unconscious. She has got the wrong guy because the UPS delivery guy is back and attacks her. (He was living in the attic, apparently.) Olivia takes him out on a commercial break, and she apologizes to Jake for thinking he was a criminal.
Rebecca sells the house, and Olivia gets a new boyfriend. The end!
Side Note
Minority Report: Olivia, Rebecca,
I’m sorry to whoever’s house this is. It is awful.
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*** I’ve updated the rating system moving forward. Knives represent # of kills. Wine is over enjoyment (NOT a value judgment) on a 1-5 scale.
I will use the following tags for those who want to know whether to watch or skip: Pour it Up (Would Recommend) or Put A Cork In It (Would Not Recommend).
Overall rating
Number of Kills:
🔪🔪 (2 Knives)
Enjoyment Level: 🍷 🍷 (2 glasses of wine.)
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*Photo Credit: © 2022 Lifetime® | A+E Networks®
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