Ex-Wife Killer (2018 Lifetime)

Ex-Wife Killer (2018 Lifetime)

Stars: Marguerite MoreauJordan BelfiJessica Blackmore 

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Synopsis (via Lifetime)

When Josie’s ex-husband, Michael, stumbles into her flower shop with a business offer she can’t refuse, she is caught in the crossfire of a brutal divorce between Michael and his self-proclaimed crazy ex-wife; a divorce filled with manipulation and betrayal. Josie must determine who is truly the crazy one, even if it means risking her own life.

Thoughts

A woman is smashing some shit with a golf club in a tight cocktail dress. That is how you start a Lifetime movie. 

Next, we see Josie’s flower shop. Josie seems like she should be in a Hallmark movie because she is sweet and probably LOVES Christmas. Since this is Lifetime, she is her own boss and has an adorable “not gay” florist named Brady. Her best friend Hannah asks him out before Josie can think of it. 

A doctor is working later in his office and murdered, okay?

Back at the flower shop, Josie’s ex-husband Michael stops by. Josie is very annoyed and distrusting of her ex when he asks her to coffee. He is remarried, so what is his angel here? At coffee, Mike tells Josie that he is splitting up from Laura and has a business proposal. He wants to expand the flower shop. As they talk, someone is taking photos in the distance. 

Laura is the woman who smashes things in a cocktail dress, and she is out for revenge. (Clearly.) She drinks martinis at a dive bar and reviews photos that she hired a PI in a newsy hat to take. After looking through the pictures, Laura tells him that he isn’t very good at his job. (I love Laura.)

The photos/stalking continues. Someone is watching Josie at work and home. Josie has a painting of a vineyard in her house; apparently, it is her dream to own a vineyard. Mike promises to make that happen because he is the CEO of his company now. The two spend more and more time together working on the business. Which ticks Laura off, she slashes Jo’s tires and stabs Laura and Mikes’s wedding photo in the front tire. It is clear who is after Josie, or is it? (Brady starts to act jealous too?)

A language of flowers scene happens, and my eyes have never rolled so hard.

Josie and Michael land a big loan to start to vineyard business. They celebrate with a drink in his office (Jo doesn’t drink so she just cheers.), and he asks her on a date. Jo is realistic and tells him that he is just infatuated with her. He tries to explain but passes out and is rushed to the hospital. The scotch in his has been laced with Ketamine. Michael wakes up and knows it was Laura who drugged him. He tells Josie not to get involved, which she immediately does. 

At Laura’s place of work, I think she is a vet. Josie tells Laura to leave Michael alone. Laura promises that she is doing everything by the books, and Michael is the one who has been playing dirty. She denies poisoning Michael and resents the accusation. Jo doesn’t know who to believe. Michael plays Jo the surveillance footage of Laura smashing things, and that settles that. 

When Josie returns home after some girl talk with Hannah, she notices the door left ajar. In red paint, on the sliding glass door is “Go near Michael again, or I’ll kill you.” Josie is terrified and calls Brady to come over and stay with her. He apologizes for his behavior earlier and talks about quitting the job to be with Jo. He feels that they are meant to be together, and if she gets back with Michael, that would be a huge mistake. (Because Laura is dangerous, not because he is obsessed with her or anything. Haha. I see you, Brady.) 

Hannah sneaks into Michael’s house to figure out what is going on. As she is looking at his laptop, she hears a car door slam. Then she calls Josie to tell her what she found, but screams as the phone goes dead. Josie rushes over just as Michael is getting home. They run inside and find Hannah dead. Josie cries over the body and screams, “Noooooooooooooooo!!!!!!” 

Lady Detective questions Josie and Michael. She assigns an officer to watch the house and tells them to stay together for safety. That is probably terrible advice because Josie keeps getting calls from Brady, wondering where she is. The couple drives up to the vineyard. Michael liquidated all his assets to buy it. They talk about California wine, and I couldn’t care less. Is this an ad?

Josie and Mike playhouse. They set our flowers and have a wine toast. A car pulls up, and Michael sends Josie to hide. We only see this from Josie’s perspective. She hears Michael go downstairs and find Laura. He screams, “Laura, no, no!” and then a gunshot. When Josie comes down, she finds Laura dead on the ground. Michael tells her that Laura shot at him but missed, wrestled the gun from her, and accidentally shot her. 

Lady Detective is back and questions Josie alone this time. She is suspicious of Michael; it all seems a little too convenient. When Josie finds out Laura was shot twice, she knows that Michael is lying to her. 

Josie heads back to Michael’s house and reviews the surveillance footage from when Hannah reviewed the footage of Laura. Once she knows who the killer is, she sends the footage to Lady Detective, grabs a gun, and speeds to the vineyard. 

Michael and Josie have some wine and talk about Laura’s murder again. She asks him if he has his story straight when she catches him in a lie. Then she calls him a pathological liar and crazy. That sets him off, and he runs away into the vineyard. Jo chases him with her gun. Michael explains himself, but who cares at this point. They wrestle over the gun as police arrive. The gun goes off, and Michael is shot. Josie cries in a beautiful vineyard. 

Brady makes flowers for Josie. I guess he wasn’t the killed after all. He takes Josie out on a date. The movie ends with a shot of red roses and then abruptly ends. 

Side Note

Minority Report: Flower shop kid, Detective.

Very boring.

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Overall rating

🔪 (1 Knife)

🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷 (5 glasses of wine required.)

*Photo Credit: © 2018 Lifetime

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